Sexy photos from The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit.

Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes,

Who else is as hungover as me? I celebrated Memorial Day yesterday with a 12 pack of Coors Light and some subpar BBQ at my neighbors place. And now I sort of hate myself, mostly because I don’t like my neighbor but I wasn’t invited to any parties so I had no choice. I really need to make some friends, which is tough to do because I sacrifice my life in providing you with the sexiest hotty celeb pictures available on the seedy Internet. What, you think this stuff just magically happens? No, it takes time and commitment, a passion, and someone like me that has absolutely no social life and enjoys creeping on the Internet. So really yesterday while you were hanging with big boobed bikini girls at your friend’s big pool party, I was making a sacrifice hanging with my loser neighbor watching reruns of OC Housewives and drinking cheap beers. Next Memorial Day, maybe you should remember those of us who make a sacrifice for your Internet pleasures…

Speaking of Internet pleasures, here are pictures out of Cannes from the Film Festival. This is another big celebrity Charity event, The Amber Lounge Charity Event. Vanessa Hudgens, Jennifer Lawrence (Hunger Games), Zahia Dehar, to name a few, showed up looking sexy as hell. Vanessa Hudgens in the white sexy dress took the cake for me. She’s just so damn hot. Sometimes I think she doesn’t even know that I exist, which is mostly because she completely doesn’t know that I exist. Life’s realities are sometimes overly harsh.

Anyways, due to my commitment to your Internet pleasure, I have a lot of really sexy pictures of all these girls. I know you probably had a lot of fun yesterday at your bikini party and are probably super hungover right now watching some nameless sexy girl pick up her bikini from your floor while you get dressed for work, which is fine, so long as you remember the people like me in this world who make great sacrifices to provide you with the content you love so much.

God Bless.

Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes, Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes, Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes, Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes, Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes, Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes, Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes, Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes, Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes, Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes, Vanessa Hudgens,  Zahia Dehar,  Jennifer Lawrence, The Amber Lounge Charity Benefit, Cannes,

Coco’s booty and boobs host Vegas Memorial Day weekend party.

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What do you do when Carrot Top, Pauly Shore and Puck turn down hosting a Memorial Day weekend pool party? Well if you are Venus Pool Club at Ceasars Palace, you apparently call Ice T’s reality wife, Coco, and bam, big boobs and big booty rubbing on all your finest fake and cheesy roman pillars. Pretty much Coco can turn any pilar into a stripper pole. That’s awesome. Actually, it’s not. But hey, if the economy isn’t bad enough for former Real Worlder Puck to host your party, then Coco will do. Obviously I am just being mean here, I would have put an asterisk by the original statement but I just don’t know how to make an asterisk on my laptop so I will just have to explain it here.

Obviously Coco and Ceasar’s Palace love America and it’s troops and it’s freedom and all that good stuff, as you can tell from the pictures. If Ceasar himself would have came back yesterday I don’t even think he could have conquered Coco’s big booty and boobs. I have trouble believing that even Ice T really does that. Maybe the Ice T of old gangsta rap did that, but not this CSI / Reality Show crap soft one. I think it almost takes an organized army to do it. It would probably be like taming a polar bear after it ate a habenero pepper. Coco represetin’ the troops of all our World Wars and Vietnam in the classiest of fashions, just what America needs.

Enjoy Coco in a bikini pictures.

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Victoria Silvstedt salutes soldiers by giving them a rise.

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BQ sauce. And preparing myself to watch boozed up 20 something year old chicks hobble home from the bars and sit on the sidewalk in front of my crappy apartment and down crappy to-go tacos in an attempt to sober up. Which in some cases will lead to instances similar to this up skirt Victoria Silvstedt pictures. The only different will be that the girls sitting in front of my place will not be Playboy playmate broads like Victoria is. But they are still hot as heck my friends. This is LA. This is a day of booze. And I will be participating in the booze (which greatly helps any situation improve dramatically).

Victoria Silvstedt is greatly improving the situation of any soldiers with Internet access today. Who doesn’t want a nice upskirt picture of a Playboy broad to “salute” on such a day. Let the erections of statues begin (I know mine has). I may even marinate my statue as well. Just because I can. Because that’s the American way.

Victoria is such a blond bombshell. But I don’t think there is any rug to match, at least from what I can tell from the upskirt pic here. Which makes me happy. My marinated statue prefers a rugless experience. Happy Memorial day Folks. Stay safe. Stay fun. Stay lewd. Keep it real.

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amfAR Gala raises a boatload of cash, and sexiness

amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone,

amfAR cinema raised like $11 million dollars in cash to go towards the AIDS crisis, which rocks. All the celebs made it happen by showing up. But it was the celebrity hotties that we love so much that are the real focus here. Kim Kardashian showed up in a hot yellow dress number. Kate Upton got her hair did and looked spectacular. Rose McGowan didn’t look weird (remember the weird Marilyn Manson days?). I love me some Rose McGowan, glad she is back to looking edgy over some zombie from The Walking Dead. Like I was scared she was going to try to eat me a few years back. That’s never comfortable.

The event is tied in with the Cannes International Film Fest and is always loaded with celebs, but this year it broke a record with $11 million dollars raised. It was such a heartwarming event that when the new pop band FUN played their mindlessly stuck in your head so much you normally want to kill yourself single, “We Are Young,” it seemed warm and uplifting, instead of dire and brain penetrating. Jesse J. took the event by storm when she played “Domino” and “Pricetag,” and she looked hot doing so (her pictures are in the gallery as well). The Curator for the event was Carine Roitfeld. There were designers Alexander Wang, Balenciaga, Roberto Cavalli, Chanel, Christian Dior Tailleur among the most prominent. But no one cares about them. It’s all about supermodels, and amongst them, their leader, Kate Upton, who has some damn sexy pictures in this gallery. The most notable auction item was a chance to star in a Harvey Weinstein production, which went for like a cool million or more (I can’t convert foreign denominations, actually I could, but I am just too lazy to, it’s Memorial Day and I am lazy river today).

Ok, enough playing reporter. Enjoy the sexy pictures.

amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, 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Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina 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Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine Roitfeld, Natasha Poly, Rose McGowan, Doutzen Kroes, Milla Jovovich, Tamara Ecclestone, amfAR Gala, Kim Kardashian, Nina Dobrev, Kate Upton, Cannes, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jessie J, Heidi Klum, Irina Shayk, Carine 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What’s the french word for “freaking sexy?” Oh, it’s Gisele Bundchen

gisele bundchen, paris vogue, bikinis, photoshoot

So it’s Sunday morning, you are off tomorrow for Memorial Day weekend. Your friend keeps posting updates from Lake Havasu with a bunch of skanky biker chicks in bikinis holding up cans of Miller Light. But you, well you are better than that. You are at home right now, on the Internet, surfing for the hottest chicks that you can find. Chicks better than ones getting beer bellies (from Miller Light no less).

And that introspective pilgrimage has led you hear, to this small space of the Internet. And what do you get in return for removing the curtain her at Oz? You get Gisele Bundchen in Paris Vogue. Yep, while your friend is scavergering tweaked out biker broads with beer guts at Havasu, you are checking out sophisticated and sexy models that pose for French magazines. Clearly, you are a better than your friends. I suggest you just delete your friends’ Facebook pages. No need to waste any further time with those lowlifes, Gisele wouldn’t want you bringing them around anymore, anyways.

These Gisele Bundchen pictures are hot, sexy, French, and Tom Brady Free. They are the perfect Gisele storm of sexy. Things like blue ocean waters and bikinis are involved. And watermelon. Because sexy models eat watermelon straight from the rind when they are hungry, they don’t pound Miller Lights. That’s the difference here folks. Always remember the lessons of which I teach you. I hope you have a wonderful and safe Memorial Day weekend.

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Danielle Sharp and Lucy Collett share space in boob-osphere.

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My world has always had infinite space for boobs, or so that’s how I felt until I saw these Danielle Sharp and Lucy Collett boob mashing pictures. The boob mashing topless pictures took place for Nuts, and they made my nuts. I mean my day. Jesus, I feel disgusting and too intimate with you all right now. But it’s true. About my “day,” that is. Well, it’s true about the other as well, who am I to lie to you? You are going to see the same pictures, you will have to see the truth. Handle the truth, because the truth is awesome.

Lucy Collett, winner of the UK’s Page 3 Idol contest. Danielle Sharp, some chick with really big boobs to match Lucy’s, rubbed together in a delicious photoshoot. This photoshoot is so heavenly it makes me want to attend morning service and tell Jesus that I love him for creating the Internet. What would life be without the Internet? Dull. Mundane. Unsexy. Those are the words that come to my mind. My God these pictures make me horny. While looking at these pictures (for the 90th time) I can’t help but wonder if it’s just too much sexy boobs, like I keep waiting for them to explode into a fire of hedonistic flames.

Enjoy Lucy Collett and Danielle Sharp’s mashed up boob pictures for Nuts. How could you not?

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Britney Spears gets mad, walks out of X Factor.

britney spears,X Factor, tight dress

Britney Spears wanted to make a point that she is back and not the same ole country girl that we knew before. So, she promptly walked off the set of X Factor when a potential contestant apparently didn’t live up to her expectations when singing her song.

via TMZ: Britney Spears walked off the set of “X Factor” moments ago … and according to several people in the audience, she was upset after a contestant butchered her song, “Hold It Against Me.”
Britney did not come back immediately … and four contestants auditioned in front of the remaining judges … and an empty seat.

So this begs the question, how does one butcher “Baby One More Time?” Most of her songs come pre-butchered and pre-annoying. It’s like teeny bop music, lets keep things in perspective here, Britney. It’s going to be a long season for X Factor, in fact, I am predicting more meltdowns than when Paula Abdul and her pharmacy purse were on American Idol. If Britney can’t even take the damn auditions, how the hell is she going to take on the full show? Oh wait, she has 24 diet cokes having her back… Thing is, I am looking forward to this. She looks hot again, so this will be one hot mess.You go girl, I’m loving it. So how long until Britney is banging a show contestant? Or does she go the J-Lo route? So many hot mess options it’s tough to project the future.

Here are some Britney pictures in a tight lavender dress. Lavender is my favorite dress color, by the way.

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Jenna Jameson gets a DUI. Involves Pole. Metaphors in overdrive.

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Jenna Jameson got tagged by the pokey for a DUI.

via TMZ: Law enforcement sources tell TMZ the porn queen was involved in a single car accident at around 1:30 AM after her car struck a pole.
According to our sources, Jameson showed signs of possibly being under the influence of alcohol and was given a field sobriety test . We’re told she was subsequently arrested for misdemeanor suspicion of DUI.

See, this is what happens when you stop with oxycontin! You get DUI’s! Tito Ortiz may armbar her for this. Ok, I will stop, I am being very unclassy now. So anyways, her car struck a pole, maybe she thought she was somewhere else? Jesus, I can’t stop. It’s like an obsession to say trashy things. I feel like I am normally totally classy and sophisticated.  What is the deal with celebs and DUI’s? Seriously, I am broke and I always find a way to sucker my friends into driving. If I were rich, I would have a driver at all times. His name would be Mr. Bankshire. He would wear a suit and drive me around in a pimped out Escalade. See, I have thought this through. Here’s a tip Jenna, why don’t you think this through also? This post hurts me, I need some oxycontin, stat.

Here are some pictures of Jenna Jameson in a sexy tight dress at her 38th birthday party back in April. You can see Tito Ortiz beefcaking out in the background. I’m flexing right now.

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Britney Spears has one hell of a rider for X-Factor

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Britney Spears is back to being hot, as you will see in these sexy pictures of her in a tight dress. But with hotness, comes maintenance on the higher, more involved, J-Lo level. Check this out.

via Contactmusic: The ‘Toxic’ singer – who has signed a $15 million deal to join the panel of the US version of the show alongside Demi Lovato – has made a number of backstage demands, including six cases of Diet Coke containing 24 cans, which must be replenished every week.
She also wants 10 snack size bags of Doritos for her and her team a day, 12 vases of magnolia blossoms in her dressing room, 10 pieces of chicken and four pints of potato salad every week.
According to LOOK magazine, Britney – who is engaged to Jason Trawick – also requires a beauty team which includes a personal manicurist, a facialist and a massage therapist.

That’s great, although she left out a bowl of only red M&Ms, I mean why not go all the way. Speaking of all the way, I’d go all the way with the new X-Factor Britney and her 300 diet cokes and Louisiana trailer pulled up at the studio. I mean, it has to be a down home trailer, right? When I say “all the way,” I mean sex. Not sure how clear that was in the first place.

My morning rider consist of more Britney Spears in a tight dress with her boobs hanging out. But I am a bit of a less complex creature. Also you if you notice, Britney is getting paid. A lot. $15 million. Girl is back. She can certainly afford as many diet cokes as she’d like to have. I also note the beauty team. Solid move. I need a beauty team myself. I would like them to just follow me around all day beautying me up. Like right before I go into the DMV: beauty team prepping me up. People would think I am awesome. I may go have a diet coke now, why the hell not? Enjoy all the Britney Spears pictures of her wearing a tight dress.

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Jordan Carver boobs in a lingerie shoot

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Good morning world, Jordan Carver’s boobs have a message for you: They are big, bold, beautiful, luscious. These sexy picture are from a Jordan Carver photoshoot. I have no idea which place the photoshoot is for, nor do I care. All I care about is a breakfast of some potatoes, fruit and a side of amazing boobs. There is so much cleavage here I feel like it may actually have it’s own ecosystem and all. There could be an entire tribe of nudist and swingers living inside of that cleavage, at least that’s what I’d like to think. Actually I’d like to think of those boobs hanging out in the buff as my extra side of breakfast.

If you want more Jordan Carver, I suggest you follow her on Twitter. @jordancarver. She constantly post pictures of her boobs. Pretty much every picture of Jordan Carver involves her boobs, because it’s impossible for them not to.

Hey all, it’s Friday. Check out these Jordan Carver lingerie pictures and have the greatest day ever. Take the boobs by the horns. That didn’t make sense, which means I am out of material.

 

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