Will Smith has revealed that he and wife Jada Pinkett-Smith are homeschooling their children. According to Smith, he has no need for teachers. Here’s the quote from Reader’s Digest that is sure to be included in your next PTA newsletter:

The date of the Boston Tea Party does not matter. I know how to learn anything I want to learn. I absolutely know that I could learn how to fly the space shuttle because someone else knows how to fly it, and they put it in a book. Give me the book, and I do not need somebody to stand up in front of the class.

Umm, if I ever fly on the space shuttle (stay with me people, it could happen) and I see the pilot thumbing through a how-to book before take-off…well, I’d need a few more of those blue bags and a change of underwear. Come on, Will. I’ve read a cookbook, but I still burn the chicken.

Waif like Keira Knightley is annoucning loud and clear that she and Rupert Friend are engaged. I don’t know where the man found a ring small enough to stay on her itty-bitty finger, but hey, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

A source reports the engagement went public at a (gulp) Lindsay Lohan party.

She looked radiant and seemed to want the world to know that she and Rupert had got engaged. She was kissing and cuddling him all night. They were with six friends and were obviously in a celebratory mood after getting through five bottles of Dom Perignon. Keira couldn’t stop giggling. She even told the waiter: ‘Please get my husband a drink.’ Even her girlfriends referred to him as her future husband.

Let’s try not to think about the cosmic repercussions of announcing anything good at a Lindsay Lohan party and just be happy for the artsy-looking couple.

Ok, done with that.

It’s official. Lindsay Lohan is losing it. In the lastest scene of Lilo’s London Adventure, tabloid bait Lindsay reportedly called hotel security to prevent her newest fling, Calum Best, from leaving the room.

And that move definately takes her from slightly off to Fatal Attraction scarey. Here’s the report from The Mirror:

“Staff thought Lindsay wanted them to get rid of Calum - they couldn’t believe they wanted help to keep him there. She was going crazy, demanding to know why Calum had to leave. She wasn’t listening when he told her he had to work.

“Calum’s a legendary swordsman, but he can’t keep up with Lindsay - she’s wearing him out. He thinks she’s a nice girl, but he’s glad she’s gone back home to LA.”

Run, Calum. Run and don’t look back.

It was only a matter of time before the high-drama party girl went from obnoxious and fun to mock to just plain nuts. Everyone has seen it coming. Well, everyone except Lindsay.

Only two days after her controversial Confessions tour was broadcast, the original woman of many faces, Madonna will be on television again. This time on the Home Shopping Network. Madonna will be selling her English Roses children’s books.

“Launching The English Roses book series and my new title, The English Roses: Too Good to Be True, through this broadcast is a great chance to reach millions of homes,” the singer said in a statement.

“HSN is thrilled to be partnering with Madonna to support Raising Malawi through the offering of her latest children’s book, The English Roses: Too Good To Be True,” Bill Brand, HSN’s senior vice president of programming, said in a statement. “These books are terrific holiday gifts that give back by supporting a worthwhile cause.”

Ok, aside from the fact that it is just weird to see celebrities on HSN informercials, this is a woman who is crucified nightly in her concert. And for those of use who grew up watching Madonna and remember her more for her special talents with Evian water bottles and her Sex book, the idea of Madonna writing children’s books is just a little hard to swallow…no pun intended.

Celebrity super-couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie spent Thanksgiving touring Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam. The two were snapped touring the city on a motorbike. Curiously, the singing animals and flying sprites that follow in the wake of their obsessive good deeds were absent.

This trip is one of their many stops throughout Southeast Asia. No word on whether or not Hollywood’s most famous multi-cultural family had been considering bringing home another baby in their quest to circumnavigate the globe via adoption.

I don’t know who has been worse for Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, her moocher, embarassment of husband or new BFF Paris Hilton who is quickly dragging Britney into the black pit of public humiliation that is the Hilton life.

So here is Britney officially joining the too-rich, too-drunk, too-much time on my hands club with the obligatory upskirt shot. Of course Brit’s still only a rookie since she’s wearing panties under that hideous leopard print dress.

God only knows what has brought these two blondes together in a tabloid fantasy of drinking and partying, but I for one can’t wait for the inevitable explosion. Mark my words, it’s only a matter of time before someone gets called a bitch.

Another bundle of beauty has been born to model Heidi Klum and husband Seal. Here’s the report from Heidi’s website:

JOHAN
TO OUR CHILDREN, A BROTHER
TO OUR PARENTS, A GRANDSON
TO MY WIFE AND I, A SON
TO OUR FAMiLY, A BLESSING
JOHAN RILEY FYODOR TAIWO SAMUEL
WAS BORN AN 11/22/06 AT 17:01 in L.A.
WEIGHING 8 LBS 11 OUNCES.
HE IS HEALTHY, BEAUTIFUL AND LOOKS JUST LIKE HIS MOTHER.

SEAL

Congratulations! But I hope they’re not planning on monogramming anything.

As the Spears-Federline divorce goes further and further downhill, K-Fed has launched a new attack. After his sex tape threat apparently bombed, rumors abound that K-Fed is going to forever cement his place in history as the biggest loser husband ever by outing Britney as a bisexual.

The Sun reports:

Britney Spears’ jilted hubby Kevin Federline is to claim she is bisexual and begged him for three-in-a-bed romps. Federline, 28, will say the Pop Princess regularly fantasised about women and was desperate to share one with him.

The insider added: “Britney has told him more than once she is sexually attracted to women and men equally. She has asked Kevin many times if they could have a threesome.”

So, K-Fed, let me get this straight. Your wife bankrolled your wild spending sprees, sang on your crappy album AND she wanted you to sleep with other women? Dude, you should have worshipped this woman!

And if Brit does like the ladies, are we shocked? We all saw her french kiss Madonna on live television and she dropped her pants while partying with Paris Hilton in Vegas. And honestly, if you had been married to Kevin Federline, wouldn’t you go for chicks now too?

Personally, I thought watching a Kevin Federline look-a-like get sealed in a box and dropped off a pier was one of the highlights of the American Music Awards show. And the fact that it came right before Britney Spears walked out on stage to present an award was priceless.

But, rumor has it that Britney didn’t find the skit funny at all and that she she was greatly upset by it. Seriously? After all the trash K-Fed has been talking, Britney should have been the one to kick the crate into the waves.

Come on, Brit. The whole world thought your marriage was a joke. At least now you can laugh with us.

Buckle up people, Joe Simpson may blow a gasket when he hears this. Are Ashlee Simpson and her new nose cuddling up to Taye Diggs? Page Six reports:

Taye Diggs, who married his “Rent” co-star in 2003, was spotted “cheek to cheek” with Ashlee Simpson at G Spa last week. They took tequila shots and were intimately whispering and intertwining arms for a half hour. A rep for Simpson says she and Diggs are “just friends.”

So Ashlee may have the hots for a married black man? Can I tell overly involved and vaguely disturbing Daddy Simpson? Can I please?

And is it just me, or does Ashlee look a whole lot like Marica Brady right now? Ashlee, Ashlee, Ashlee!

After 6 years of marriage, Black Crowes lead singer Chris Robinson has filed for divorce from Kate Hudson. The appearance mismatched couple has been separated since August and Kate is rumored to be snuggled up with Owen Wilson.

Wow, from Chris to Owen. Kate, you’re a hottie, but you pick up more dogs than the SPCA.

Perma-junkie Pete Doherty has been arrested (again) for crack. His girlfriend (again) Kate Moss is said to be ready to give Pete an ultimatum (again)…dump the junkie friends or lose Kate forever (again). Color me surprised.

Seriously, is Pete trying to challenge Keith Richards for most drugged out rocker ever? Pete, the drugs work on Keith because he is a freaking legend…and apparently he cannot die. You aren’t that famous yet. So sober up and try to be known for your music instead of your track marks.

So co-stars Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom have hooked up. Or at least that’s the rumor after the two were seen playing tonsil hockey at the Chateau Marmount in Los Angeles. A big mouth pal of Orlando’s reports:

Kirsten reminds him of what Kate used to look like before her dramatic weight loss. It was so much fun for him to be with her because she seemed carefree and not obsessed about fattening foods. Kirsten can also let her hair down a bit and isn’t worried about being the most fashionable girl in the room. Orlando likes that she can look a bit dishevelled, he thinks it’s sexy. Kate would never go out unless she looked perfectly coiffed and that got a bit tiring.

Uh…is this supposed to be a flattering picture of Kirsten? And is it just me, or is this starting to sound like Kirsten is the girl you date that looks like the girl who just dumped you? Generally the plan there is to either a) recapture that kaput relationship or b) screw the look-a-like while you pretend she’s the skank who dumped you.

Gee, sounds promising.

Scarlett is beyond hot in these pics, but I just can’t get past the fact that her boobs look like they’re filled with helium. Those things are so high, Scarlett could use them as a desk. Exactly, how much double sided tape and prayer is required to break the laws of gravity?

I am going to guess that Scarlett has her eye on the Academy Awards this year since she actually looks like the Oscar statue in that last picture. But, I don’t think there are too many men who would mind having Scarlett sit on their mantle.

Oh, get your mind out of the gutter.

Brace yourself, Linsay Lohan has been in another car accident. This time she was out partying in London and ended up crashing into a police car…a police car! Yeah, I know they can be hard to see with all those flahsing lights and sirens and stuff.

I might have been able to let this one go since she was in London and they drive on the other side of the road. I mean it must be difficult to remember right and left when you’re that drunk. But, if you’re keeping score, that’s 4 car wrecks for LiLo in 18 months. The girl thinks the world is her demolition derby. Friends don’t let friends drive like Lindsay Lohan. Someone buy this girl a tricycle!

Oh and in case you’re worried, she’s fine.

I’ll bet you thought watching Paris Hilton have sex was the nastiest thing you’d ever see her do. (And don’t lie, you know you saw the tape) Well, you’d be wrong.

A whole room full of people at a Jay-Z concert in Vegas got to see a drunk Paris Hilton lip-synch on stage and then puke. Joshua Radin, who was at the concert with the cast of Scrubs, posted a first hand account of Hurl-Gate on his MySpace site.

Paris Hilton …was sitting next to me the whole night. Seriously, next to me, like our legs were touching for a good 5 hours. Now don’t get the wrong idea. She never once said hello, nor even looked in my direction. Five hours. And it was unreal to watch. She must have pulled a compact out of her bag every 6 minutes to stare at herself and pose while Jay-Z was performing 18 inches from us.

When Jay-Z finished his set, according to Radin, Paris felt the music muse strike.

Paris, who had been swilling straight vodka from [a] Grey Goose bottle for hours, gets up on stage, has the people in charge throw her ‘record’ on the house stereo for her to lip sync two of her songs. She gets up on the stage, pukes, leaves. . . I find the music business charming.

So was it the vodka that made her hurl or was it that Paris finally heard herself sing? Either way, her parents must be so proud.

Make her stop! What is Britney Spears doing hanging out with Paris Hilton in Las Vegas? Didn’t she just dump one soul sucking fake celebrity?

I highly doubt Britney was asking Paris for advice about the recording industry. Maybe she wanted the name of Paris’s sex tape distributor.

Oh, and Britney, we all know you wore the pants in your marriage. You can drop the funky suit.

Mariah Carey recently received the Make-A-Wish Foundation Wish Icon award for her work with the childrens charity. That’s the good news. The bad news, she obviously stole a dress from one of those sick kids. If she bends over she’ll make some grown up wishes come true too. Girl, shop in your own size!

Ever wonder what happened to Kramer when Seinfeld went off the air? Well, Michael Richards has been trying hs hand at stand-up comedy and he seems to be a little sensitve about it. Apparently the fuzzy headed comic flipped out Friday night during a performance at an LA comedy club. Check out the report from TMZ:

Richards, who played the wacky Cosmo Kramer on the hit TV show “Seinfeld,” appeared onstage at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood. It appears two guys, both African-American, were in the cheap seats playfully heckling Richards when suddenly, the comedian lost it. The camera started rolling just as Richards began his attack, screaming at one of the men, “Fifty years ago we’d have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass.” Richards continued, “You can talk, you can talk, you’re brave now motherf**ker. Throw his ass out. He’s a nigger! He’s a nigger! He’s a nigger! A nigger, look, there’s a nigger!” The crowd is visibly and audibly confused and upset. Richards responds by saying, “They’re going to arrest me for calling a black man a nigger.” One of the men who was the object of Richard’s tirade was outraged, shouting back “That’s un-f***ing called for, ain’t necessary.

Wow, at least Mel Gibson can say he was drunk when he made an idiot of himself.

Because there is no way I can sleep at night if I don’t share this Tom Cruise tibdit, check out the latest post-wedding reports.

First, we are hearing that Tom and Katie/Kate were actually married in Los Angeles before they flew to Italy for their much-hyped, lavish wedding. Ok, kinda weird, but I can forgive that. At least I can stop wondering if a Scientology marriage is legal.

But here’s the kicker…Tom brought a dude on his honeymoon! Mirror.co.uk is reporting that Tom Cruise brought David Miscavige, his best man and (wait for it) a senior Scientologist along on the Honeymoon. Miscavige is the “I want to rule the world” looking guy in the pic at the bottom. Tom, even you have to know that just ain’t right.