For all of you who actually gave Lindsay Lohan credit for checking herself into rehab thinking that she was finally going to address her drug and alcohol issues…sorry to disappoint you. It’s possible that Lindsay may have gone to rehab to get over her “love addiction.” See, that sounds much more like our darling Lindsay.

Apparently, Lindsay can’t get over Spiderman actor James Franco. She’s been photographed wearing the watch she reportedly bought for him and he refused. A source reports that when James and Lindsay both ended up at Prince’s Golden Globes party, Lindsay went a little loco.

She came with her manager, Jason Weinberg, and a girlfriend, but she was mostly solo for the whole night. Most people were in a good mood except for her. She seemed lost. She was trying to get James’ attention, and he wouldn’t give her anything. She was smoking a lot, not drinking in front of him, and then she went into a bedroom. From there, she went back to trying to get James’ attention again, and he was ignoring her. She ran out crying, with the girlfriend following her.”

And then she ended up passed out drunk in a hallway. Yeah, the problem must be her unrequited love for James. It couldn’t possibly be her two fisted drinking and total lack of common sense.

Britney’s new man may look like a K-Fed clone, but deep down, this guy is different. Really. People Magazine says so.

“He’s a gentleman, he’s respectful and he treats people nicely,” Brandi Lord of L.A. Models tells USA Today. “He’s not known to date around.”

The 6′1″ California native, currently appearing in TV ads for McDonald’s and Payless, is different from Britney’s ex, Kevin Federline, in at least one respect: “He’s not out to be a rapper or a dancer or an actor or anything else right now,” Lord tells USA Today. “I’m sure he will want to do something else when he gets older, but for right now, modeling is working out pretty well for him. He’s got a great look.”

Well, it doesn’t generally inspire confidence in your character if Britney Spears picks you to be her penis of the month, but hey, maybe this guy is different. Maybe he really doesn’t have his eye on Brit’s money, fame and connections. Yeah, and maybe he isn’t already calculating how to capitalize on his sudden fame. I’m betting this guy has pilot scripts and demo tapes hidden under his pillow.

Halle Berry does not want sweaty contractors speaking to her. The X-Men star is having work done in her house and she has requested silence from her workers.

From TMZ:
TMZ has learned that an Orange County painting company has been called to spruce up cabinets in Halle Berry’s Los Angeles home, which the Oscar winner been remodeling for over a year. The company has been asked to merely stain the existing wood cabinets in the kitchen … with a staggering $57,000 pricetag!

The contract between the actress and all those doing work on her property has a few interesting clauses: First, any worker is prohibited to approach Berry while in the home or on the premises. Second, no one is allowed to speak to the A-list Miss B at any time. Finally, the only approved interaction is if Halle speaks to you, then you may answer Her Fineness.

It just makes me sad when I think of all the good I could do if I had $57,000 laying around. I could support the poor people at Barney’s for a year. And I wouldn’t mind if the sales people wanted to speak to me while they brought me a latte and another pair of leather boots to try on.

Just in case you were wondering, yes Britney Spears can read. Or she can at least hold a magazine right side up and look at the pictures. Here she is at a Santa Monica convenience store engrossed in her own publicity.

I love the fact that Britney is so absorbed in reading about her own life. If I were the philosophical type, I might comment on the irony of a photo that captures a celebrity sans make-up, decent clothes and her entourage reading about the details of her life in a tabloid.

But, given that it is Britney Spears and such musing on the meaning of life would be totally lost on her, I’ll just say that maybe she’s using the magazine stories to fill in the blanks in her memory after her last drunken blackout.

Random pics of Britney out with new boy toy Isaac Cohen

Paris Hilton’s vanity is getting the best of her. It’s being reported that the aimless heiress visited a cosmetic surgeon this week to get her droppy eye fixed. Of course the only reason she needs it fixed is because six years ago she had surgery done to lift her eyelids (apparently just opening them was too much work) and the muscles of her left eye were damaged leaving her with the permanent Popeye squint we all know and love.

And she still hasn’t learned her lesson. From Page Six:

Hilton, who is filming “The Hottie and the Nottie,” has made things worse by wearing blue- tinted contact lenses over her naturally brown irises. “They have been drying out lately,” dished the tipster. “She is ignoring doctors’ orders to not wear her tinted contacts.”

Paris thinks that her money will fix anything and everything. Well, with enough surgeries, she may be able to buy pretty, but you can’t fix stupid.

Pics of Paris on the set of “The Hottie and the Nottie.”

Victoria Beckham may have a job offer waiting for her when she and soccer star hubby move to La-La Land. Rumor has it that Playboy would love to have the former Spice girl pose for the magazine. And if the thought of Posh naked doesn’t give you chills…well maybe you haven’t seen what’s left of her recently.

From The Times:

The former Spice Girl was today given a glimpse of the opportunities awaiting Britain’s most famous couple when they move to Los Angeles this summer when she was invited to take part in a Playboy “pictorial” by Hugh Hefner, the magazine’s founder.

“She should do a pictorial with us. We’ve got big plans for her. I think she’s going to fit in fine.”

Oh that sounds just lovely. That girl is nothing but skin and bones and silicon. It would be cheaper (and more appealing) to put two giant water balloons and a brown wig on a skeleton.

Jessica Biel is not only hot and built like a sex goddess, she’s got a freaky side too. Check out her recent shopping excursion, and try to restrain your erections, gentlemen.

From E! Online’s “The Eyes Have It” scetion:

“Jessica Biel, rumored gf of Derek Jeter and Esquire’s 2005 Sexiest Woman Alive…picked out a pair of remote-controlled vibrating panties along with some other stroke-ready toys from Booty Parlor at the Kari Feinstein Style Lounge in the Hollywood Hills.”

If Derek Jeter isn’t making time with Jessica, he will be now. In fact, he should be buying a ring, setting the date and grabbing this girl as soon as possible. Jess is all about sports, she’s beyond gorgeous and she wears vibrating underwear. I don’t swing that way, but even I want to do her.

Now you’ve done it, Isiah Washington. You’ve pissed off Doogie Howser. Neil Patrick Harris is throwing his former MD-ness into the Grey’s Anatomy fray. Harris, who shocked no one when he announced his sexual preference just weeks after TR Knight, has spoken out about Isiah Washington’s politically way incorrect slur.

From TV Guide:

“T.R. has proven himself to be an incredibly classy, dignified guy,” [Neil Patrick Harris] told me. “I’m impressed that Katherine Heigl said what she said. I was shocked that it all reared its ugly head again.”

Meanwhile, the word from the Grey’s set is that Washington’s problems extend far beyond his affinity for a certain derogatory f-word. Per a source, his behavior has been so “inappropriate and offensive” for so long that producers have often been forced to intervene.

Isiah Washington is letting success go to his head. He has a great role on a hit series, but the man would be smart to remember that he ain’t George Clooney and the road from the Grey’s Anatomy to Bounty commercials can be very short.

After her rumored run in with former love Justin Timberlake at the Golden Globes, Cameron Diaz has run off to Hawaii and shacked up with pro-surfer Kelly Slater.

From TMZ:

“We’re told the couple shared a romantic oceanfront dinner at Haleiwa Joe’s restaurant before heading back to Slater’s place. Indeed, we’re told Cameron is staying with Slater.”

I couldn’t care less about Cameron. She’s goofy looking, she thinks way too highly of herself and the best movie she’s ever made was Shrek and you didn’t even have to look at her. But, holy crap, have you seen Kelly Slater? He is gorgeous beyond words. I can’t believe a guy that good looking would ever let Cameron Diaz touch his long board. And while I wouldn’t wish Cameron’s kind of crazy on any guy, I hope they stay together just so I can keep looking at pictures of Kelly Slater.

Britney Spears has lost another gig to former BFF Paris Hilton. The out of control pop star has been un-invited to the Vienna Opera Ball. Paris is reportedly to receive $1 million for attending the event.

Apparently Paris and Brit were invited together (you know, back when they were a couple) but since the bust up of their friendship, Britney has been kicked off the guest list for the fancy-schmancy shindig.

From the people behind the un-invite:

“She [Paris] is a very good advertisement for the Opera Ball,” Richard Lugner explained. Regarding why Spears wouldn’t be there as well, Christina offered: “They unfortunately do not get along anymore.”

If I thought Paris had two brain cells to rub together I might start thinking that she had masterminded this whole plot to get Britney out of the spotlight. Not possible, but I kind of like Paris as a super-villian.

My guess is that the upper-crust event planners suddenly became very nervous that Britney would show up in a tube top and Daisy Dukes with a bag of Cheetos in one hand and a case of Bud in the other saying “Hey y’all where’s the party?”

Super freak Fergie is ready to settle down…or at least say the words. Rumors has it that Stacy Ferguson aka Fergie and boyrfiend Josh Duhamel are engaged.

From Starpulse:

Fergie is trying to keep her engagement a secret by hiding her ring in her handbag when she’s out in public. The singer accepted boyfriend Josh Duhamel’s wedding proposal just before Christmas, according to reports, but she doesn’t want to make the happy news public until they have set a wedding date. Life & Style magazine claims Fergie, real name Stacy Ferguson, was showing off her four-carat diamond engagement ring at a pre-Christmas party at film producer Michael Bay’s home on December 15 - but has kept it hidden ever since.

And Josh looks like a such a normal kind of guy. Who would have thought that he likes it all sweaty and crazy. I will never be able to look at him again without picturing him getting his freak on with Fergie. And you know that girl works him like a sled dog in a blizzard.

Grey’s Anatomy star Isiah Washington got a beat down from the gay community. Less than a week after his cringe inducing f-bomb (not that one, the other one) faux pas at the Golden Globes, he has issued an official apology.

“I apologize to T.R., my colleagues, the fans of the show and especially the lesbian and gay community for using a word that is unacceptable in any context or circumstance. By repeating the word Monday night, I marred what should have been a perfect night for everyone who works on Grey’s Anatomy. I can neither defend nor explain my behavior. I can also no longer deny to myself that there are issues I obviously need to examine within my own soul, and I’ve asked for help.

T.R.’s courage throughout this entire episode speaks to his tremendous character. I hold his talent, and T.R. as a person, in high esteem. I know a mere apology will not end this, and I intend to let my future actions prove my sincerity.”

Isiah is way behind the times. Prejudicial rants followed by forced apologies are so 2006.

Will wonders never cease? Lindsay Lohan has checked herself into rehab. Nope, you read that right. The party girl extraordinaire is hanging up her shot glasses. US Weekly reports that she checked into the posh Wonderland Center in Laurel Canyon on Wednesday afternoon.

From US Weekly

“I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health,” Lohan tells Us Weekly through her rep, Leslie Sloane-Zelnick. “I appreciate your well-wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time.”

Though Lohan didn’t attend the Golden Globe Awards, the actress was spotted at Prince’s after-party at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel where “she was totally out of it,” according to an onlooker.

Maybe Lindsay has just been hearing about eveyone else in rehab and she thinks that’s where the party moved to. If she’s in there for more than two weeks I will post an “I love Lindsay” blog. Ok, I won’t, but I doubt she’ll last that long. She won’t break out to get a drink, but once she figures out they don’t allow the paparazzi in to take candid shots, she’ll head for the hills…and the nearest Holywood hot spot. That girl needs flashbulbs more than she needs tequila.

Beyonce was denied at the Golden Globes this week and Papa Knowles is not happy about it. After the show ended, Beyonce’s daddy told reporters his daughter had been “overlooked” and “outcasted” by a “good old boy system.”

“Today is MLK’s birthday and it saddens me to say that things have not changed for blacks. Working class blacks and blacks in Hollywood are still being discriminated against. We still have a long way to go,” he said.”

Maybe the guy was so absorbed in rehearsing his Johnny Cochran tirade to explain why his overly publicized little girl didn’t win that he missed Jennifer Hudson, Eddie Murphy and Forest Whitaker all taking home those pretty trophies. Or maybe he just overlooked the fact that all three of those actors are (wait for it) black.

I’ll bet Papa Knowles started his “vote for Beyonce” campaign for the Academy Awards before he even finished his free chicken dinner at the Globes. And I’m sure that won’t get annoying over the next few weeks.

Rumor has it that Britney Spears may be pregnant. Isn’t that wonderful? It’s about time that she had a child. She’ll probably make a great mother. Wait, what’s that? She already has a kid? Two of them? Well where the hell are they and why does she need another one to ignore?

From MSNBC:

Britney Spears’s friends believe that the baby-popping singer may be pregnant again, according to In Touch Weekly.

“I’ve seen her during the last two pregnancies and she has the same look now,” a “pal who sees Britney every week” told the mag. “She’s heavier, but that’s not it. It’s the sparkle in her eye. She always gets that sparkle when she’s pregnant, like she’s relaxed and happy.”

Say it with me people, birth control. Maybe we need to say it a little slower so Britney can catch on to the concept. Pop a pill, wear a patch, wrap the man stick, pull out and make a mess…I don’t care, but stop making little Brit Bits.

Hey, here’s a good way to kill everyone’s buzz after your show wins a Golden Globe…give Grey’s Anatomy star Isiah Washington a microphone.

As the entire cast of gathered in front of the media to enjoy their win, Isiah jumped to the mic to defend himself against rumors that he called TR Knight a nasty name during on on set brawl with Patrick Dempsey. (Did you keep all that straight?)

“No, I did not call T.R. a faggot. Never happened, never happened.”

But why don’t you go ahead and pretty much call him one right to his face and in front of the international press. Very smooth.

And in a move that is sure to make work on the set completely tension free, Grey’s beauty Katherine Heigl has a few words for Isiah.

“I’m going to be really honest right now, he needs to just not speak in public. Period…T.R. is my best friend. I will throw down for that kid.”

So back off dude. Katherine will go ape shit on your homophobic ass. Honestly, I think she could take him. That girl is one hot amazon.

In a classic birds of a feather cliche Lindsay Lohan has hooked up with Girls Gone Wild creator and sleeze peddler Joe Francis.

See, that makes perfect sense to me. Lindsay spends most of her days trying to think up excuses to flash her boobs, ass or nay-nay and Joe spends his days trying to talk college girls into flashing their boobs, ass and nay-nay for his sleezy videos.

From Page Six:

Lindsay Lohan found a guy with a jet. She’s seeing “Girls Gone Wild” impresario Joe Francis. Friends of Lohan say Francis was with her when she went to the hospital two weeks ago to have her appendix out, and they planned to leave Saturday for a mini-vacation at Francis’ Mexican estate, but decided to stay in town. “Neither of them could resist the lure of the Golden Globe parties,” laughed our spy.

So, Lindsay gets an audience for her attention craving exhibitionism and Joe gets a girl who doesn’t need three bottles of rum and Spring Break to get naked. And everyone goes home happy (an dprobably infected with something). So when do we see the “Lindsay Gone Wilder than Usual” video? But unless it involves a llama and a pogo stick, it’s nothing new for Lindsay.

After teasing us a few times Keith Urban is really and truly and officially out of rehab. And the newly sober Mr. Kidman is ready to hit the road again.

From The ShowBuzz:

Freundlich said Urban finished rehab over the weekend and will go to Germany this week for promotional appearances. The tour dates are still being finalized, but after the club shows he will play arenas in Australia in May and in the U.S. and Canada in June. Last week a newspaper in Melbourne, Australia, reported that Urban is planning a world tour in April or May. Despite Urban’s absence for promotion, the album reached No. 1 on the country chart and spawned the hit singles “Once in a Lifetime” and “Stupid Boy.”

I can’t believe that this guy was out of action the whole time and his album still hit No. 1. No photo ops, no tour, no promos and the album goes to the top. I didn’t know people actually relied on their talent and the quality of their music to sell records anymore. How old fashioned.

Unless Nicole Kidman has like a million copies of his cd stashed in their garage. Now that would be supportive.

Britney Spears is officially even more screwed up than Paris Hilton. How’s that for a claim to fame?

As the competition for Superbowl ads heats up, Britney has found herself benched. But in a move that is sure to drive Britney back to the bars, reports have it thatformer BFF Paris Hilton has landed a Superbowl spot.

From Gatecrasher:

Among the celebrity business being brokered while everyone is in L.A. for the Golden Globes is casting for an all-star NFL Network promo to air during the Feb. 4 football finale.

“She’s too much of a train wreck,” says the insider. “Besides, we already have Paris Hilton.”

There isn’t anything snarky enough for me to say to top that. Britney has managed to make herself less desirable than a slurring, talentless, herpes riddled skank. That takes a special kind of stupid.

Mardi Gras isn’t the only reason to vist New Orleans any more. Super star couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (and ankle-biters Mad, Zee and Shy) are moving to the Big Easy.

The couple has reportedly purchased a $3.5 million mansion in the French Quarter and plan to make it home base for their various save the world campaigns.

From Reuters:

Globe-trotting Hollywood couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have moved to New Orleans and plan to send their three children to school there, Us Weekly magazine reported on Tuesday.

Representatives for Pitt, 43, and Jolie, 31, could not immediately be reached for comment. But according to the story posted on the magazine’s Web site, the couple’s relocation to the flood-ravaged Louisiana city is at least partly in keeping with their off-screen devotion to various humanitarian causes around the world.

See, New Orleans doesn’t need government aid or FEMA…they have Brangelina. Maybe they’ll just adopt the whole city and make it one big happy family that likes to get drunk and flash their tits.