The New York Daily News has the following “blind item” that has most people guessing that Lindsay Lohan likes two hot dogs in her bun.

Which red-hot rehabber has a new thing for threesomes with two gentlemen friends?

It doesn’t require a great feat of mental gymnastics to pick Lindsay out of a line up of Hollywood super freaks for this one. I’m only surprised that it’s just two guys. If the rumor said she was boinking an entire pro-football team while a hockey team was waiting in line I would have just nodded my head and said “sure, I can see that.”

The Simple Life may be filming in a women’s prison next season. Nicole Richie has been officially charged with a DUI and is facing the possibility of jail time.

From Yahoo News:

Nicole Richie was charged with a DUI today [not today, actually last week] for the incident in December when she was arrested for driving the wrong way on the freeway in her SUV. The case allso alleges she had a prior misdemeanor DUI conviction in 2003 and according to Calfiornia law, if convicted of a DUI twice within 10 years a person faces a sentence of 90 days to a year in jail, a fine between $390 and $1,000, and a suspension of driving privileges.

I hope the stick has been practicing how to sharpen her designer shades in shanks because that girl might as well have “make me your bitch” tattooed on her forehead.

Kenny Chesney is going on television to set the record straight. The country star is telling the world that he isn’t gay. Rumors have dogged the singer since his wife of 30 seconds Renee Zellweger cited “fraud” as the reason for requesting their hasty marriage be annulled.

CNN has Kenny’s side:

“It’s not true. Period. Maybe I should have come out and said, ‘No, I’m not (gay),’ but I didn’t want to draw any more attention to it,” the 38-year-old country singer says. “… I didn’t have to prove to anybody that I wasn’t (gay). I didn’t feel like I really did.”

“We thought the least harmful (stated reason) was fraud because it (is) kind of broad … doesn’t specify,” Chesney says. “And boy … we were wrong.”

They should just add a few boxes to the annulment paperwork. There should be boxes for drunk, stupid, horny, needed publicity. That would clear things up and make the whole less-messy-than-a-divorce process more entertaining.

Ralph Fiennes will have more to grumble about than people mispronouncing his name (it’s pronounced Rafe for all of us silly Americans who try to call him Ralph). It seems the star of the monumentally depressing movie The English Patient has joined the mile high club with a press hungry flight attendant.

Qantas flight attendant Lisa Robertson is telling the world of her romantic encounter with Ralph in a cramped airplane lavatory.

From The Daily Mail:

After chatting together, there was, she [Robertson] has admitted, a lot of ‘body language’ between them and even the odd kiss or two.

Miss Robertson, 38, told friends she was so overwhelmed with the moment that she did not care who was listening, what they saw or what they assumed had been going on.

This version is pretty much the opposite of the story Robertson gave her Qantas bosses when she told them she repelled Ralph’s unwanted sexual advances in the bathroom. And big shock, the newspaper goes on to add that Robertson hasn’t heard from Ralph since their night of passion. Hey, she should be glad he didn’t leave her in a dark cave somewhere to die alone waiting for him to come back. I hate that movie.

OMG y’all, Britney Spears has belly-flopped off the deep end. Britney has shaved her head. Shaved her head, people! The pop tart is as bald as a funny shaped billiard ball. If you ever wanted to know what a mental breakdown looks like, this is it. And this isn’t just a little therapy and some Prozac kind of a breakdown…we’re talking Cuckoo’s Nest crazy.

So the story is that Britney flew back to LA from Miami after her blink and you’ll miss stab at rehab and immediately headed for a salon.

From US Magazine:

A source at the salon says, “Britney came in and said she wanted them to shave her head.” According to the source, when the hairdresser refused, “Britney grabbed the hair clipper and started doing it herself.”

Britney was not an ideal subject, however. “She was a nightmare to deal with,” says Hughes. “She was screaming and flipping out from the pain and wiggling her body all around.”

There aren’t many chicks who can rock the shaved head look. Sinead O’Conner, Sigourney Weaver, a few Buddhist nuns. So unless Brit is going to be fighting aliens, tearing up pictures of the Pope or hanging with the Dalai Lama, girlfriend needs to stop by the wig store. Of course that should come after she gets fitted for her straight jacket and rubber room.

Perhaps she finally realized she had a problem (or 12), perhaps she finally listened to those who love her, but Britney Spears has given rehab a try…for less than a day.

Extra reports that the party hopping Britney checked into an off-shore rehab facility:

“Spears was last seen leaving New York City two nights ago on a private jet with her two young sons heading to Miami. Then, she disappeared off the paparazzi radar. Spears entering rehab comes after months of hard partying and friends having reached out to her to seek help. Officially, Britney’s reps tell “Extra” that they have “no comment.”

TMZ quickly followed with a report that Brit refused to stay and checked herself out less than 24 hours later.

Maybe Britney is going for the Lindsay Lohan style of rehab. Stay, go, do whatever the hell you want. Either that or she got pissed when they tried to take away the minis she swiped from the jet. Those rehab nurses can be such buzz kills.

The legal battles over Anna Nicole Smith’s body and baby continue and now a will from 2001 has been turned over to the courts. TMZ has obtained a copy of the will that was dated July 30, 2001. The will leaves Anna’s entire estate to her son Daniel and names Howard K. Stern as executor of the estate.

Well that helps. The will was drafted before Dannielynn’s birth and before Anna had that not-at-all-legal marriage to Stern. Oh, and the only beneficiary mentioned is dead. And here’s motive for you…TMZ reports that Anna’s estate is estimated at $500 million!

I’m not saying that Howie did it, but $500 million would buy alot of nose jobs.

Looks like Jennifer Lopez and her cadaverous hubby Marc Anthony have crossed over. And I don’t just mean J-Lo’s new spanish album. The latin lovers have reportedly given in to Hollywood peer pressure and are smoking the Scientology weed.

From Fox News:

“Anthony is said to have taken the “purification” course, a hopped-up sauna that supposedly “cures” all ills. Lopez may have invested in the IRS-sanctioned religion thanks to infertility issues and difficulties in the couple’s marriage.

From what I’m told, Lopez and Anthony entered Scientology with the help of Angelo Pagan, the husband of “King of Queens” actress Leah Remini. Both Pagan and Remini — mostly the former — have taken dozens of pricey courses in L. Ron Hubbard’s creation.”

Can’t you just hear the conversations at the celebrity center. “Come on, you know you want to try it. I’ll give you the first audit is free. Everybody’s doing it. You can be one of the cool kids.” Where’s Nancy Reagan when you need her…just say no, dammit!

Britney’s lost her husband, her image, her career and now her personal assistant. Felicia Culotta, Brit’s assistant for more than nine years, has packed up her cell phone and split.

MSNBC has Felicia’s side of the story:

I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding…There’s just so much you can do to help a person - I don’t dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say - You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch,” she wrote. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!”

In an effort to help Britney in her time of need I have written a help wanted ad for her new personal assistant. “Wanted: Personal Assitant. Must be available 24 hours a day for McDonald’s runs and last minute trips to Vegas. Candidate must understand the fine art of Cheetos smacking and table dancing. Must be willing to feed small children and clean up vomit. Salary: not nearly enough.” Gee, where do I send my Starbucks stained resume?

MTV may be keeping TRL, but Vanessa Minnillo is calling it quits. The vee-jay is reportedly looking to move up in the entertainment world.

From Page Six:

The former flame of Derek Jeter and current squeeze of Nick Lachey will not renew her contract, which expires in April, we’re told. “MTV wants her out,” said another insider. Other sources say continuous rumors of the show’s demise and Minnillo’s other high-wattage opportunities are driving her away from the network.

Just out of curiosity, what other opportunites have been coming her way? Other than being Nick Lachey’s anti-Jessica. Do we really see Vanessa hosting a talk show or staring in the next Tomb Raider flick?

Scarlett Johansson has been named “Woman of the Year” by the Hasting Pudding Theatricals at Harvard University. Scarlett braved the cold to ride in the traditional parade sandwiched between two guys in drag.

From The Sydney Morning Herald:

“Everything I ever dreamed of when I was a little girl is happening to me right now,” Johansson joked as two flamboyantly dressed male members of the theatrical troupe kissed her while she rode down Massachusetts Avenue in a Bentley.

The actress, who did not attend college, noted that her mother still pesters her about seeking higher education. “This is the closest I’ll ever get to a Harvard degree, for sure,” she said as she hoisted her pudding pot.

The acting troupe said they were honoring Scarlett for her “lasting and impressive achievement to the world of entertainment.” But you know the real reason they picked her was so they could kiss her. Who says a college education doesn’t pay off?

Paris Hilton is so out of it that she thinks being pelted with garabge is a compliment. The aimless heiress is in Vienna to attend the high swank Vienna Opera Ball and when she visited the Vienna mall to sign autographs she had to be whisked away by security guards when the crowd began tossing trash at her. Paris dismissed the incident and said she “loves her fans.”

She thinks these are fans? Paris probably thought that tossing lipstick and cigarettes at a celebrity is just the European way of saying gee we’re glad you’re here, kind of like the way they call an elevator a lift and think that sausage goes with everything.

When it comes to super rebounders Denise Richards and Richie Sambora, Jon Bon Jovi is not a fan. The rock star is making his feelings towards Yoko…sorry Denise very clear.

From Yahoo News:

Jon Bon Jovi reportedly hates band mate Richie Sambora’s girlfriend Denise Richards, and wants to ban her from joining the group on tour. Singer Jon is said to be fed up with the ‘Wild Girls’ actress distracting the guitarist and has made it clear to Richie he prefers it when she is not around.

“Bon Jovi the band is literally just Jon Bon Jovi. Everyone else is an employee, like a member of staff,” he added.

I grew up worshipping Jon Bon Jovi (yes, I was that girl) so as far as I’m concerned Denise should hit the bricks. I don’t care how pop Jon has gone, I’d still toss my panties on stage for him.

Apparently Mariah Carey needs a little help with the definition of “economy.” The high maintenance diva was recently asked to fly in economy class to save money on her new film Tennessee. Mariah, being so willing to help out, agreed. Then she bought out every seat in economy and flew in an empty cabin.

Now the big issue here isn’t so much the fact that Mariah desperately needs a calculator, but the fact that someone actually cast Mariah in another movie. I’ve only got one thing to say to that goofball…Glitter.

Britney Spears has become such a joke that she is getting dissed by a half-naked heiress who lets herself be photographed while being felt up in public. Lydia Hearst, heiress/model/designer, gave the Britser a cool “no thank you” when Brit asked for one of the 100 PUMA bags Lydia designed for the Heatherette show.

Lydia told the New York Daily News:

I’m only giving the bag to accomplished young women who are doing something positive to affect the world around them. They are women I look up to and respect, like Gwyneth Paltrow and Sarah Jessica Parker and Anne Hathaway. They share the same high standards of giving back to the communities in which they live.”

Call me old fashioned, but, it seems a little risky for Lydia to jump on such a moral high horse when she’s using Tyson Beckford’s hands as a bra.

Heather Mills McCartney is known for two things. First, she’s an annoying gold digger who is universally recognized as one of the most hated women in the world. Second, she’s got a peg leg. Granted its not a wooden Long John Silver kind of thing, but its a fake leg nonetheless.

So imagine my reaction when I read that Heather may be joining the cast of Dancing With The Stars…as a dancer. Yep, I said something cruel like “can you glue sequins on a titanium leg?” What are the judges going to say if she sucks? “Your upper body was graceful, but that fake leg is really stiff.” What if she steps on her partner’s foot? She’ll break a toe. This has disaster written all over it. So of course I’ll be watching.

This season’s stars will be announced on Febriary 21st.

Someone at Sports Illustrated had a brainstorm that instead of putting a super-hot supermodel on the cover of the swimsuit issue, it would be more fun to give the career making spot to Beyonce. Beyonce on the cover of the SI swimsuit edition! Is nothing sacred anymore?

From the Associated Press:

Another high note for Beyonce – the coveted cover shot of this year’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. The singer and now movie star (Dreamgirls) posed on a Florida beach in a yellow-and-pink bikini by House of Dereon, the fashion label she started with her mother, Tina Knowles. There’s also a photo spread inside.”The Dreamgirl As You’ve Never Seen Her,” a cover headline teases.

Because horny men the world over count down the days until the swimsuit edition comes out so they can see Beyonce on the cover advertising her own line of swimwear. What have they got planned for next year? Jessica Simpson in a tankini plugging her acne cream?

Nicky Hilton is the good girl of the tabloid cesspool that is the Hilton sisters, but Mama Hilton’s less troublesome girl has suddenly found herself in some legal hot water. The younger, less slutty of the sisters is being sued by a hotel developer for allegedly failing to publicize the Nicky-O hotels.

From the New York Post:

Nicky Hilton is gearing up to battle the developer who’s suing her for allegedly reneging on deals to promote Nicky-O hotels in Miami and Chicago. Robert Falor filed a suit in Illinois against the hotel heiress and her manager, Paul Fisher, claiming he subsidized a “lavish” lifestyle for them, including a Cadillac Escalade for Fisher, parties for Hilton and her friends and free plasma TVs for both. Nicky’s publicist, Elliot Mintz, told us, “There is much more here than meets the eye.”

Poor Elliot. This one must have caught him off guard. His red phone probably rang in the middle of the night and he immediately reached for his “list of excuses for Paris’ behavior” book only to find out that it was Nicky who needed damage control. With all this spin, I wonder if Elliot ever makes himself dizzy.

Ashley Olsen was spotted vacationing in Mexico and letting it all hang out…nearly. Don’t ask me what the twig is doing, but it doesn’t look good. If she’s going for sexy she missed by at least a mile. I can’t tell if she’s picking a wedgie or if she keeps her room keys in her crack. Either way…ick! Honestly, the only guys who find her freakishly pre-pubescent body attractive are the same guys who aren’t allowed within 100 yards of an elementary school.

Apparently Tara Reid didn’t appreciate Joe Francis telling the world that she was bad in bed. Tara was only one of a string of celebrities the sleezebag claimed he had slept with when he appeared on the Howard Stern show. According to Page Six, when Francis tried to buddy up to Tara last weekend she gave him a verbal bitch slap.

Reid ran into Francis at Clive Davis’ pre-Grammy party in Los Angeles Saturday night and refused to speak to her one-time friend.

The actress is desperately trying to clean up her party girl image, while Francis recently appeared in intimate video footage found in a Hilton’s storage locker and later posted on ParisExposed.com.

I’m totally with Tara on this one. So much for the whole gentlmen never kiss and tell thing. Actually, I don’t think anyone has ever accused the borderline porn peddler of being a gentleman, but its nice to be proven right.