Posh Spice and her hubby David Beckham are about to get a star studded welcome to Los Angeles courtesy of their good buds Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. The A-listers are throwing the Beckhams a major shindig tomorrow that has all of La-La-Land yapping.

From huffingtonpost.com:

Two of Hollywood’s biggest stars — Tom Cruise and Will Smith — are hosting a private, welcome-to-L.A. bash for the Beckhams at the Museum of Contemporary Art’s Geffen Contemporary in downtown Los Angeles.

“This is the hardest party to get into,” said one person with knowledge of the affair, “It’s A-list only. And, no press.”

And TMZ has the deets on the over the top invitations:

“Please join Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith in welcoming David and Victoria Beckham to Los Angeles,” reads the “gold lettering” on the invite, says People, to the big event Sunday at the Museum of Contemporary Art.

Now I’m confused. The invitation I got says “Welcome David to Los Angeles and tell Posh to go home.” Is that the wrong party? But I made brownies.

Looks like Lindsay Lohan may be in for another strongly worded and seriously embarassing dressing down from a studio head. The fresh out of rehab and ready to turn her life around star has reportedly managed to turn an entire movie around.

Lindsay was set to star in Poor Things with the often reincarnated, and wacky in her own way, Shirely Maclaine, but the move has since been shut down and at least one staffer is telling everyone it was all Lindsay’s fault.

The New York Post has the email sent to GE and Dell by the set designer who had promised the companies product placement in the flick:

‘Poor Things’ has been cancelled
Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news, but I just received a call from Jacky Gilardi, the producer, pulling the plug on the ill-fated film.

Apparently, Ms. Lohan’s antics in Las Vegas over the weekend have scared the bond companies and all of the funding has been pulled … I look forward to working together in the future and trust our next project will not be as fraught with difficulty.

The pro-Lindsay camp says that the flick was cancelled for other reasons and who knows what really went down. But if Lindsay expected a stay in rehab to fix her pain in the ass image in Holywood, well, she may need to rethink that plan.

How’s this for a flashback to the days of parachute pants and blue mascara? Remember Brigette Nielsen? She’s the blonde amazon who spent a lot of time yelling in Russian in Rocky IV and…wait, that’s all I know about what she did before she moved into the has-been brothel that is The Surreal Life.

Anyway, the jolly blonde gaint has checked into rehab.

From E! Online:

“I wish her the best of luck,” Nielsen’s pal and manager Steven Tempone told CelebTV.com, which reported that her facility of choice is in North Hollywood. “She has been a dear friend of mine for over 20 years. This was a decision she made on her own, and I love her and I am glad she’s getting help.”

No word on what she’s rehabbing for. Can you go into rehab for desperately trying to hang onto a career that imploded with the Berlin Wall?

Poor Paris Hilton. The celebutante who is so sure that everyone likes her has just been dissed by America’s newest robo-resident. Victoria Beckham has decidced that she’s too good for the likes of the ex-con heiress.

Paris told the London Sun that she and Posh could be more than BFF’s:

“I just know Victoria and I would get along. We could be soul mates.”

But Posh scoffed and reportedly told a friend:

“Over my dead body! We couldn’t be more different. You won’t catch me falling out of nightclubs with no knickers on.”

Of course this was before Vic was spotted in LA with her hubby’s hand between her legs. So she should have said “I’d never get caught without my knickers, but getting fingered in public is totally different.”

Yes, Lindsay Lohan has (finally) been arrested, but it isn’t as cool as it sounds. The recently rehabbed celeb has officially been arrested for DUI. This goes back to May when she ran her car over a curb and into some bushes, dashed away from the scene, ended up in the hospital and then headed for rehab. I guess those pesky cops didn’t forget about her.

From TMZ:

In one of the most under the radar moves she’s ever made, Lindsay Lohan quietly walked into the Beverly Hills PD station late Thursday afternoon to be officially arrested for her May DUI.

Lohan was charged with driving with a blood alcohol level greater than .08 and misdemeanor hit and run, this according to the Beverly Hills PD. Sources close to the case tell TMZ that this was simply a routine process, as often times people arrested for driving under the influence are simply cited and released.

What are the chances that Lindsay walked in and tried to tell them “hey, that car crack-up was my bad. But I did rehab and look at my cool alcohol anklet. See, I took care of this. Wait what are the handcuffs for…do we have a date tonight?”

Ok, she probably didn’t say any of that, but it was a fun conversation in my head.

You’d think after all that public stripping and swimming, Britney Spears would be too tired to actually work. Or to embarassed to be around people. But here she is on the set of the video for her new single Get Back, her first music video in ages. And judging by the costume, Brit isn’t exactly going for classy in this vid.

What is she supposed to be wearing? I know she had a huge hit by trashing up a school girl outfit, so maybe she’s trying to do the same thing with funeral wear. Or maybe it’s not a costume and she’s in mourning for her dignity.

So after all the drama and debate over Madonna’s adoption of baby David from Malawi last year, the big decicison day is approaching. The guy in charge of deciding whether Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie get to keep the African not-quite-an-orphan David is heading to London next month to observe the situation.

The head of Malawi’s child welfare will be staying with Madge for as long as five days to decide if David gets to stay with the Material Mom or head back to the orphanage. He says (from The Daily Mail):

“We are worried that the level of public interest might be bad for David. In the normal situation children don’t have cameras in their face. We are not just looking at the positives of being adopted, one of the aspects of an assessment is looking at the negatives.”

Hmmm…cameras in your face when you leave your mansion to get into the air conditioned limo that will take you to private school or sleeping on a cot in an African orphange under mosquito netting and hoping the flies don’t carry your dinner away? Yeah, that’ll take five days to decide.

And you thought the Britney Spears crazy train was done. Wrong! Here’s the loony pop tart stripping down to her undies (not a bikini folks…bra and panties) and jumping in the ocean in front of a whole pack of paparazzi.

You know she could stand in the middle of the 405 with a big sign that says “I need attention to prove that my life still has meaning” and it would be less obvious than this impromptu striptease and swim.

Now, I’m not saying that Lindsay Lohan may be failing her post-rehab test of sobriety, but other people are. I would never say that. I have nothing but faith in Lilo’s pledge to live a sober life. Of course I also think that babies are delivered by storks which is why I live under a whole bunch of power lines.

But here’s what Page Six hints:

Which hard-partying starlet has figured out a way to get high while wearing an alcohol-monitoring anklet? She was asking where she could score some Ecstasy at a Vegas club the other night…

So you can jump to your own conclusions, but here’s Lindsay showing off her alcohol anklet. Fortunately for her fashion sense its black and obvious ploys for sympathy go with everything.

Dude, get a room. David Beckham should get one of those colored cards they throw around in soccer games for illegal use of hands in these pics. Becks and his robo-wife Victoria Beckham were spotted outside of The Little Door Restaurant doing…umm…this.

Maybe he was trying to shield his wife’s nether regions form the paparazzi, but seriously, this was the best idea he could come up with? Dude, stand in front of her, toss her a jacket, buy her a longer dress, teach her how to keep her legs closed when she gets put of a car but cupping her hoo-hah in public doesn’t exactly divert the attention.

Get ready for Britney Spears Taco Bell commercials. The more famous now for her insanity than for her bubble gum pop songs Britney has decided to act as her own manager. Which is kind of her fist bad business decision isn’t it?

From Page Six:

“She is doing all of her own business now.” Our spy saw Spears at Aspen on West 22nd Street yesterday afternoon “signing contracts” - possibly related to the recent deal she inked to open a Las Vegas club.

But who am I to judge? Let’s look at Brit’s recent career moves: divorce, head shaving, rehab, mama drama. But hey, if she can negotiate a free lifetime supply of fast food and Red Bull then she’ll probably meet her management goals.

Wow, when Hilary Duff decided to toss off her sweet and inocent look, she wasn’t messing around. Here’s the formerly sugar and spice and eveyrthing nice tween princess during a recent performance and she’s rocking more of a whips and chains kind of look now. But hey, nothing says “I’m all grown-up” like vinyl pants and CFM heels. It worked for me in junior high.

Well the Dr. Phil issues that Britney Spears and her mom Lynne are going through have apparently escalated to an episode of COPS. The two reportedly got into a “slapfest” when Mama Spears tried to have some grandma time with the boys.

From MSNBC:

The trouble reportedly began when Lynne Spears stopped by her daughter’s house with an invitation on the weekend of June 15. “Lynne barged into the house and insisted on taking the kids out to spend some private time with them,” an insider told the tab. “She didn’t ask or suggest, she demanded!” says the insider. “Then she began denigrating Britney’s mothering skills and losing her temper at the same time!”

MSNBC goes on to say that the catfight was what caused Brit to give mom the now infamous (and poetic) legal kiss off. But Mama Spears still has hope:

“Despite their problems, Lynne cares deeply for Britney and wants to find a way to help her,” a “friend” told Star. “She thinks antidepressant drugs may be the answer. Lynne feels Britney has severe depression issues, and they are in large part the cause of her apparent manic behavior and past problems with alcohol.”

Now there’s a reality show in the making. Or at least a tell-all book. Preferably from Lynne, cause you know moms always have the good dirt…and naked baby pictures.

Oh my eyes! What is going on with Tara Reid’s tummy? Look, I actually like Tara, she seems like the girl to call when you want to have a good time and wake up the next morning with no memory of what you did and how you ended up in Mexico wearing a little bo peep outfit and a cowboy hat.

But, seriously, girlfriend needs to get a one-piece swimsuit and a good lawyer. Cause whatever plastic surgeon did that needs to have his lincense to practice medicine lipo-sucked away. On the up side, her boobs look good.

Paris Hilton has decided what she wants to be when she grows up. Besides rich, divorced and barely in touch with her children. Turn out Paris really wants to be a singer and she’s hard at work on her next album. And there’s nothing we can do to stop it.

Paris told E! Online:

“I’m already working on my new record. I’ve been in meetings with Scott [Storch] and we’ve been working on it. I’ve been working on it with Scott for a few weeks.”

And an insider adds:

“She takes voice lessons several times a week. She’s really serious about her music career. Of all her projects, her music is the most important to her. She really works very hard to be taken seriously in the industry and make good music people will enjoy.”

Well if Paris really wants to make music that people will enjoy she needs to toss together a mix tape of songs that don’t suck and release that.

Looks like Carmen Electra isn’t ready to give up her role as the poster girl for hooker chic. Actually that was a little harsh. Sorry Carmen.

I just don’t have anything else to say about her. The buzz over her rumored lesbian love affair with Joan Jett has mostly died down, she hasn’t married and then divorced any overly tattooed and seemingly sexually confused guys and she isn’t wearing a red swimsuit that’s two sizes too small.

What can I say? All I had to work with were the pole dancer boots.

Now there’s the Paris Hilton we all know and mock. The ex-con heiress was out surfing in Mailbu when she had a wardrobe malfunction with her too trendy to actually wear in the water swimsuit. And ta-da, say hello to Paris Hilton’s right breast…not just a momentary nipple slip, but the whole (much smaller in real life) boobie. So click with care, these photos are NSFW.

And don’t you love how the guy in the water just keeps taking pictures and “forgets” to mention that her breast is hanging out? Usually you have to be in a rented house in the Valley to take those kinds of pics.

Oh Britney! Just when you thought Britney Sears was turning her life around…no wait, no one actually thought that. Never mind. Anyway, here’s Brit sporting an oh-so clever pink wig disguise…that didn’t fool anybody. Because nothing says “blend in” like a bright pink wig. She’s also carrying her newest furry friend, a tiny Yorkie she named London.

Britney’s newest single Get Back is rumored to be released this week. The inspired lyrics reportedly include:

So baby now
you’re the one who’s looking for me
i wonder why?
cuz u used to be the one
who asked me to let her be

so you’re the one
who want us
to get back
(you say lets get back together)(lets get back forever)
now its u the one
whos’s followin me around
like a homeless dog
and you pray
(let’s get back together,let’s get back for better)
get back
lets lets lets
get back(back,back,back…)

See, when I originally wrote this song it said “Get back to rehab, get back to your kids, get back to blonde and get back to wearing a bra.” Leave it to Britney to completely screw up my song.

(Don’t go taking me seriously now, I didn’t actually write the song…but I could have! Cause I’m that good, baby.)

Katie Holmes may be the subject of endless public scrutiny for her “how did that happen” marriage to Tom Cruise and the conspiracy theories regarding the birth of their daughter Suri, but the speculation (and Scientology lessons) seem to be working for her.

Who knows what’s really going on in her newly bobbed head, but she’s looking good. Katie is definitely going for a Jackie O style and she can actually pull it off. Hopefully she’ll get a Jackie size divorce settlement too…um, I mean in the off chance that the marriage doesn’t work out.

And is it just me or does little Suri actually look like Tom?

Kim Kardashian is certainly making the most of her trip to Miami for Fashion Week. That girl is like a paparazzi magnet. But the usually ass happy Kim K. suddenly decided not to flaunt her best side when she hit the beach in this bikini. Kim was making friends with towels, sarongs, the waves and anything else that could cover her rear end. Apparently the junk in the trunk looks good in tight fitting dresses, but not so much in a barely there bikini.