Josh Duhamel is one lucky man, or unlucky, I can’t get a good read on this. Josh proposed to Fergie around Christmas time, and she said hellz yes. I really don’t get why a guy like him would confining himself to the same piece of tail for the rest of his life, or at least force himself into sneaking around. He has a successful show, chicks dig him, I mean come on? Ferg is going to age fast, there is a lot of former meth use in her past, just the way things are.

I would keep the young starlets rotation alive and kicking if I were Josh. But hey, whatever makes him happy. Honestly, I don’t ever have issues like this.

I mean, what else would explain this skinny catastrophe, otherwise known as Simon’s fiancé British TV personality Teri Seymour? She needs to stop by the mini-mart on her way home and score some nachos. If she doesn’t look out, she is going to start looking worse than Paula. These pics are coming from a vacation the couple took in Barbados. Good thing Simon doesn’t judge Bikini Idol, because this mess would be asked to leave.

According to her, which seems a pretty solid source, she isn’t packing a sex trophy.

news.com.au says, “She’s in Australia making a film and her family are in Australia. She’s happily ensconced away somewhere having a few days break. It’s the silly season. As far as we’re concerned, it’s another rumour out of London.”

Good to hear, I am growing tired of posting preggo stories and DUI debacles, celebs need to find something else to do. I really think we need another good ole fashioned car chase. Something super spectacular and fun to watch, something that has danger and intrigue.

On another note, how much hotter is Nicole without Cruisentology at her side? He ruins women, look at Katie Holmes now.

Although this picture of Nicole has her looking as though she really needs a tan. She sort of has a gothic look right now, but its still better than being in photos with Tom Cruise.

According the NY Daily News, George “Tailor Made” Weisgerber, the winner of VH1’s I Love New York 2, is into more than just New York.

NY Daily News says,”He was a hot mess,” says the snitch. “He was dancing, and kissing a blond with curly hair, then holding hands with a girl with short straight brown hair.”
And when the third girl tried to help him up after he “fell on the floor of the bathroom,” he hit on her!

Word.

I can totally understand this. After enduring New York for months seeking her approval, I would dump her immediately after winning. She isn’t really hot at all, but she thinks she is. The only upsetting part of this ordeal is that it probably means there will be a third installment of this New York’s show.

The worlds largest department store was treated to a Lily Allen shopping spree during their big winter sale. Even celebs look for deals! And apparently stuffed bears. Lily is 22, pregnant, and apparently really bored. She is just weird looking to me, almost like a mix between Katie Holmes and Amy Winehouse on drugs (which is Amy Winehouse like all the time).

Lily’s publicist confirmed her un-wed pregnancy last week with her boyfriend Ed Simons of The Chemical Brothers.

Kobe took his daughter Gianna out to see Disney on Ice out in Anaheim. I wonder what poor kid had to sit behind Kobe? I am actually surprised that Kobe didn’t just have them move the ice to his living room for a private viewing.

Kobe is rich. I mean really rich. Really rich people do things like that, just because they can.

Oh ya, the Lakers are good again and Kobe is back in the good graces of LA after demanding a trade in the off-season.

Her real name is Miley Cyrus and she is only 15, so why is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus out getting hooked up with lingerie? Have we learned nothing from the Jamie Lynn Spears debacle?

Kids these days are really growing up fast! Sounds like Billy Ray read the Lynn Spears instructional book on parenting. A how-to-guide to completely messing up your kids life. A DUI is in Miley’s future for sure…
Now I can’t get that silly, “Achey Breaky heart” song out of my head.

Day ruined.

The Brangelina shopping duo hit up the streets of New Orleans, apparently buying the kids some clothes. Brad Pitt is just weird now if you ask my opinion. He used to be super cool, I am not really sure what happened to him. I saw him do an interview a few weeks back and he talking about being old and sad.

Man up Brad, you have a hit chick and a lot of money. Life could honestly be worse.

Celebs need to stop crying, they are better than the rest of us and that should be good enough. We shouldn’t have to hear them whine.

I wonder it Angelina bought her dad a gift for Christmas?

The Nicolette Sheridan beach frolicking marathon continues and the pictures just keep rolling in. At least this time we have something to ooh and aww about. Her nipple, which I might add looks pretty good. If she could only stop making those weird faces while frolicking about the beach I might be able to stand the chick.

If she makes these kinds of faces while hitting warm Caribbean waters, imagine what her face looks like while I am making love to her. Sweet love. And yes, I said imagine me, not you, because I am probably better than you at pleasing milfs. I have a ton of experience.

Seeing that Nicolette is in the Caribbean are of St. Barts, it would be safe to assume that she has a very low tolerance for cold. Look at the pictures and decide for yourselves…

The shot we have all been waiting on finally hit the interweb, and just before the New Year…just think, this picture will be sooo last year in two days.

For those of you living in a cave or watching the Discovery Channel too much, Mischa likes to throw down a few vicodins, wash it down with some red wine and then hit the open roads of West Hollywood. Ok, I am guessing what the narcotic and booze of choice are, but that is my job, to spread rumors. But I am willing to bet I am right. Vicodin is the new trendy thing to do in Hollywood. It is the new cocaine of the 80s.

I do have to say, this is one of the better mugshots I can recall in some time. You have to be really hot to pull these off. I think only Nicole Ritchie can challenge her for the sexy mugshot category.

Not sure which of the two is worse? Michael Lohan offering family advice or Lynne Spears offering parenting advice?

Extra says, “Stand together,” he insisted. “Stand by each other and don’t let anyone come between you.”

How about a combination of the two? I mean, this is basic science here. If you combine two elements that are utterly pathetic, then they become normal as they cancel each other out.

This is just too damn funny. How can either of these idiots be giving advice in public. What a mess Hollywood is. Next week, we hope to hear from OJ regarding how to make a relationship work.

I really think we have heard enough of these two idiots.

Just kidding, we need them for blogs like this to be possible.

You got it, the rarely scantily clout actress shows off her bikini look. Although, I am sensing some insecurity here due to the shirt tied around the waste. This is in-line with girls that where dresses over there jeans, they are usually hiding something. I am betting she looks nice and round, just the way I like ‘um. Also, the trademark black protects the fat is in action here. I wonder?

Well, whatever the case, her tits look awesome and her round bottom seems to go well with the rest of the recipe, at least from what I can see. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for telling me about her needs or her day.

Here is LeeLee Sobieski in a bikini.

Page Six says, The turkey took in just $1,322 on its opening weekend in eight Texas theaters. Jessica’s next picture, “Major Movie Star,” with Vivica A. Fox and Steve Guttenberg, is also heading straight to DVD.

Jessica, it may well be time to finally do some porno. Hey, not for me necessarily, but for your career. Ok, and for me I wanna watch so bad my hands and legs are shaking. But seriously, now that your career has become a battle for crappy DVD releases, you need to raise the stakes and blow out the competition. You can’t live off these kinds of profits and you really don’t want to go back to singing. Actually, I don’t want you to go back to singing, I really don’t know what you want.

Lets face it, adult films rule when it comes to DVD’s. You will be a huge seller and a huge star. Paris who? Exactly Jess.

But do us all a favor, please dump Romo. I just don’t think he would sell well. He is kind of goofy, not sure if you have noticed that.

And deservedly so. Look at the guy in the picture maddogging Cash Warren. I hope he kicks his A**.

What a total debacle this has become. Worse more, I think this shot is from a Clippers game. Maybe she sat next to Penny Marshal and Billy Cristal. Wow. How lame will Jessica go for this douchebag? I want the old Jessica back now.

2008 is shaping up to be the year that will always be remembered as the one where we lost one fine piece of …

And is it just me or does Cash Warren have a nose that is unevolved from our days of being apes. My god, this guy can probably breath fine on the top of Everest.

And I can’t blame him. It is about time that someone put Lynne Spears in check.

US Magazine says, “He doesn’t get a dime from his daughters,” the source says. “He busts his ass to take care of himself. That’s why he’s so furious with Lynne.” Usmagazine.com reported last week, per a source close to the family, that Jamie “refused to take any money and ‘profit off of his children.’”

What a ho-bag Lynne is. Selling out her daughters for profit. I bet her and the Highschool principal are in bed together with the negotiations for the yearbook sale. Lynne is probably so excited over her daughters pregnancy due to the flurry of dollar signs flashing in front of her. At least the dad has some class. I think Lynne just wants to upgrade the trailer…

Page Six says, “I’m very honored to have the tag of gay icon,” the LA Galaxy soccer star told BBC radio. In fact, the strapping athlete is so comfortable with his masculinity, he lets his wife dress him. “Without a doubt, Victoria has a huge part in the way I look these days.”

He’s hot. He is, I don’t care what you think. I’m just sayin’….

I am straight as an arrow, but lets face it, this guy can pull tail. And really, he just doesn’t care what we think. We all have to remember that while Victoria may dress him, that means he was naked in front of her before she dressed him. Think about that for a second.

Yep, he hits that.

I really think he would be a lot cooler though if he would just become a kicker in the NFL. No one cares about soccer. I can’t stand watching absolutely nothing happen for two hours. They need to make the goals wider or have it mandatory that each team have two midget goalies. Now that would get me to the stadium.

So this is just bad, that lovely girl from The OC is apparently wanting to join the fray of bad girl reps infecting Hollywood. Well, if this is her first try, consider it a good first step. Mischa was stopped in West Hollywood last night, cuffed, the whole thing. Man I would love some pics of her in cuffs. You know, for the the blog, not for my nightstand.

Here are some of the official details.

Sources tell Hollyscoop EXCLUSIVELY that actress Mischa Barton was arrested in the wee hours this morning! She was handcuffed and arrested at 2:46AM last night and booked at 3:10AM.
Mischa was arrested on the corner of La Cienega and Santa Monica Blvd in Los Angeles late last night in her white Range Rover for Driving Under the Influence and driving without a license.
Her bail amount is set at $10,000

People Magazine adds, The former star of The O.C., 21, was stopped at 2:46 a.m. and arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol, possession of illegal narcotics and driving without a valid license, according to Lieutenant Honings of the West Hollywood Sheriff’s office.

I wonder what the illegal narcotics were? I am going to go with Vicodin. Vicondin is a trendy Hollywoodish club drug. I predict that this will be good for Mischa’s career. I am actually starting to wonder if Hollywood agents are setting up these DUI’s as a part of their client’s SAG memberships. I mean, if I was rich, I wouldn’t even think about driving myself to Target. I would always have a driver. To be honest, I always weasel out of driving as is. I hate driving. I would rather ride in the passenger’s seat and tell the driver how to drive while adjusting the radio.

Just me.

Check out some more pics of Mischa Barton cruising around town, smoking true-bad-girl style.

I love this Hilton. She just looks like she would be the life of the bed party. You know what I mean. And she frolicks, something that didn’t go so well for Nicolette Sheridan yesterday. Lets not compare and contrast the two women, just take my word for it that Nicky is 100 times the better.

I think Nicky is pretty much the reigning queen of the hot my sis is a nutcase club, that is until Jamie Lynn turns 18 and only if she stops having babies.

Please Nicky, no babies. Please remain a virgin.

Reality is upon us. The once perfect and unblemished body of Jessica Alba is beginning to suffer. At this rate, I envision her giving birth to Satan. This kid will always be remembered for ruining the sexiest stomach of…possibly ever. Who would want such a rap?

Of course Jessica is denying any claims that she will pose nude during her pregnancy.

To be honest, I don’t know that I would even want to see it, knowing what it might have looked like before this spermicidal catastrophe occured would pain me too much. I really hope the old Jessica returns quickly after Satan is born. I am not sure that I can take another 7 months of morning sickness.

Note to girls who go away to rehab in Utah facilities: Stay away from douchebag snowboarders!

So this Riley Giles cat is really trying to keep up the douchebag-publicity machine. After labeling Lohan a sex addict, he gave us these sucky pictures. What are we supposed to do with these? Where are the nudes?

I am beginning to wonder if Riley even had sex with Lindsay. You have to be a complete douchebag to publicly display an image of yourself giving a gang sign. Word to the boys out there, gang signs, shockers, whatever they are, are for girls to show during pictures, not guys. Riley Giles is officially on the 15 minutes of idiocy list. Enjoy Riley, Lindsay is the last nice piece of a** you will ever get. From here on out it is fat girls.

How many pictures does Lindsay take of herself a day?