Yeah, I think she must be a bit desperate, considering the fact that their is a writers strike and before the her show was barely able to come up with 2 weeks of new stuff in a row. I mean heck, Desperate Housewives pretty much launched Grey’s Anatomy because DH was never new!

Nicolette is obviously frolicking for attention. I hate frolicking. It is so not becoming of women. It basically says I’m an attention ho!

I know she is old, but she just doesn’t look all that good to me. Some of it is likely fixable. Like her posture and her stupid looks while she is frolicking in the water. She used to be so hot. Remember Knots Landing? Stop it, my mom watched the show, not me. But I always loved Nicolette. Such fond boyhood memories I have.

Ok, it is the same level of nude as the 6 I took home from the bar last week, but due to the fact that these girls are 10’s and and the fact that their are 6 of them, making it a total of 60 for hotness, I called it an entire new level. Alessandra Ambrosio, Izabel Goulart, Miranda Kerr, Adriana Lima, Karolina Kurkova, and Selita Ebanks are flesh-to-flesh, thy-to-buttocks, and not ever going to talk to a guy like me.

Which is fine, I prefer 6’s. Simply put, 6’s work a lot harder than 60’s do. They have to in order to make up for the loss of 54 on the hotness scale. It is just a practical way of thinking.

This was taken for a French Photo magazine, not sure which one, don’t care to be honest. I just care about nudity and this picture almost covers that.

Now we need them to consider a dirty movie shoot. Ok, that isn’t going to happen, but I am greedy. Enjoy the picture for now.

Or so it would seem. The less media-whoring Hilton was recently caught shacking up in a hotel all night with girlfriend Sky Peters, daughter of Producer Jon Peters. They are both 16. In the Hilton family, it is a prerequisite that you must get going early if you want to be a part of the family, maybe he is practicing for his 18th birthday video shoot?

Page Six says, On Friday, the two holed up in room 261 at the Bel Air Hotel and “something happened,” said a friend of Jon’s, as “police were called.” A rep for Jon reached the producer at his Santa Barbara ranch and told Page Six: “Jon has responded that he will be looking into the purported relationship, and why Christine is allowing their youngest daughter to spend nights out.”

Paris still looks hot. Not that she should start looking non-hot. I was just reminded when I saw this picture. Who is that other guy that looks like the lead singer of The Wallflowers? Is he another Dylan? I wish I was Paris’ brother, could you even begin to imagine your life?

No job, just getting tail. All you would do everyday is go get tail. You don’t crunch numbers, except for counting bras.

I hate my family.

Britney really needs to take a break from her gas station lavatory tour and make it to court for her deposition. This time those K-Fed attorney’s aren’t playin’!! Last time Britney called in sick and then went on a gas station tour later that evening, which didn’t sit well with the Kaplan, K-Fed’s attorney.

OK Magazine says, But considering the potentially dire consequences for Brit, she might want to think twice before oversleeping or calling in sick next week. “She could go to jail for contempt of court if she refuses to show,” one legal eagle confirms to OK!.

Britney, you need to just think of this the same as having in early flight out of Cancun. Basically, you just need to stay up all night, don’t even go to bed. If you go to bed, your body might want to sleep for days on end. This way, you show up before the hangover even kicks in. Hell, I would have a mimosa and a xanax to bring me down a bit. Last thing you want is to seem edgy, so seem sedated.

But if you do go to jail, it will make for more great press on your part. I mean really, you haven’t had enough lately. You are awesome. I mean that.

I love Christmas spirit. Just kidding, I don’t. I would prefer more a** shots of Jen’s big voluptuous booty. But instead we have her out on Christmas cooking away a bunch of chicken breast.

Why do we need celebs to cook for us? Wait, I am not homeless, but if I were, I wouldn’t need Jen cooking for me. Why does acting mean you can cook? If I were starving, I really wouldn’t be impressed by Jen flipping chickens over on a grill. It just seems so silly to me. Athletes do this also, because, The NBA Cares. Last thing I need is Shaq dishing me out spaghetti.

You’re a celebrity, give me something I can actually use. Such as your nude photos Jen. I can use them, then sell them, then wish myself the best Holiday ever.

If I want a chicken sandwich, I will go to Jack and the Box and mill through the dollar menu.

Oh yeah, did I mention??? Merry Christmas too all.

You sing it honey. So you know all those cool Chuck Norris facts that you passed around to your dad, your old college buddies that are working two-bit jobs and your cubicle mates? Those tough as hell facts that finally made Chuck Norris cool again and made you feel like you should go out and join a fight club?

Chuck is suing the guy who wrote them.

What a total wus. I had forgotten who Chuck Norris was until these facts started going around the Internet. Problem for Chuck is that he says they aren’t facts at all, in fact, he says they are offensive.

If someone wrote a blog about me being able to kick everyone else’s a**, I would dig it. In fact, I would be the main forwarding culprit. You would be sick of me talking about myself. Now we have to take all those facts back.

Thanks Chuck, I hope someone gave you a testicle or two for Christmas because you could use it.

Here is the AP article, but it just confirms that Chuck Norris is a wus.

Halle Berry was spotted out shopping at the Party Paper Life gift shop in Beverly Hills, without future father-to-be Gabriel Aubrey. As you can see, Halle’s trophy is growing, why wasn’t her man with her to help her with all her shopping?

Maybe he was out having a beer with the boys. That is what I would be doing if I had a pregnant wife. That is probably why girls will not let me have sex with them.

The catwoman may need to do a little shoe shopping while she is out and about, I don’t think those heeled boots are good for baby momma’s back. Especially if her man isn’t going to be around to help out!

Very sexual woman. What? What were you expecting me to say? It’s Christmas jacka**es! It hasn’t been a secret that Sting and wife, Trudie Styler, would like you to know all about their sex life. But now they are putting pictures where their stories are.

The Daily Mail
The 56-year-old rock star and his wife have flung wide the doors of their $24 million Manhattan apartment for an “at home” newspaper feature.
The centrepiece of the 18-room apartment overlooking Central Park is an extraordinary scarlet bedroom embroidered in gold and dominated by two explicit Helmut Newton prints.
In one, an unidentified woman lays virtually naked, with her legs spread in the back of a vintage Mercedes as a man leans over from the front seat to unzip one of her spike-heeled boots.
The other image, above the bed head, shows the lower half of another female wearing just stockings, suspenders and high heels.
Miss Styler, 53, who once told a U.S. DJ that the couple enjoyed swingers’ parties, before apparently retracting the claim, said of the room: “I find it hot.”

I think I would rather do the painting than Trudie, but that is just me and I am particular. I like 20 year olds. There is nothing like having a girl that really is clueless about the world. I don’t think I could deal with a woman discussing art with me all day. I could deal with the swingers parties though, especially if Sting is friends with J-Lo. That would be Christmas Awesomeness!

I really would get tired of all the dressing up. I am more about getting naked. Keep it simple, no need to reach for any sexual stars.

Find me some mistletoe quickly. Actually, just find me some tissue. Nuts Magazine has given us the best gift of the year. Having been voted the best natural breast in the world, these pictures are definitely worth a look.

Enjoy.

Most of you probably remember Danielle from her role as Topanga on the ABC sitcom Boy Meets World, now she is staring in Girl Meets Judge.

Fishel was arrested Thursday just before 5 a.m. after officers stopped a car she was in, said Newport Beach Sgt. James Rocker. She was released from jail shortly after her arrest.

Danielle was currently working on the Tyra Banks show as some sort of reporter, this is enough to drive a girl to drink. I think Tyra should be brought up on charges for having a personality that is impossible to bear without getting totally hammered. Can you imagine being a big child star and then having to work for Tyra? Talk about being in the dumps career wise. To be honest, the DUI is probably a better career move for her than working on Tyra is. It is a lot more trendy at least.

Here is the full story out of Orange County. They aren’t really saying if she was pulled over for the warrant of for actually being drunk while driving.

For the record, I would do her until next Tuesday came so long as she never talked about Tyra.

Britney says Merry Christmas in a way only Britney can say it! By giving the gift of crazy to the paparazzi. I guess they all got their Christmas Bonuses after all.

From OK Magazine: Brit made her way to the Peninsula Hotel, where Adnan is waiting to escort her up to a room. An hour later, Adnan left the hotel for a few minutes to buy cigarettes. When asked if there’s any romance going on he responds cryptically, “It’s hard to make babies when you’re just having lunch.”

After scoring some smokes from the photogs, Adnan retreated to the hotel room where he remained until 10:25 a.m.! Upon leaving, he joked to his fellow snappers that he and Brit are getting hitched, which some insiders think might not be unbelievable. “He’s one of the hotter-looking photographers out there,” one insider tells OK!. “He and Brit have been flirting for months now. He’s always the one to pump her gas, or hold her car door open for her, or run crowd-control to help her out. He always puts himself in the position of being the knight in shining armor.”

It appears that the love-fest isn’t over, as Adnan drove from the hotel to Britney’s house, where he remained into early Sunday afternoon, around the same time Britney is supposed to be visited by her two young boys.

That is one lucky paparazzi if you ask me. Britney probably pays all the bills. He is found a crazy sugar momma. It has long been rumored around LA that Britney has deals cut with the paps whereas she changes clothes multiple times a day, thereby giving rise to the image values, and she takes a cut. Looks like she has a new deal with Adnan. Basically, he gets tail and gets to take pictures. Britney gets smokes.

And I couldn’t be happier. If Lohan ever comes out with a sex tape, I will buy a membership. Wowzers. Check out what Riley Giles said about their hot sex life in News of the World.

Riley Giles on Lindsay Lohan: “Lindsay’s definitely a nymphomaniac. She’s wild in bed. We’d have sex a couple of times in the day and then go to it through the night.
“We once did it four times in a row straight. That was crazy. Lindsay was insatiable. She’d demand sex again and again. We’d go at it for hours. She’d have worn out most guys.”
“When you orgasm, your endorphins shoot up and it becomes a massive natural high. If you have an addictive personality like Lindsay you need that to replace the highs you got from taking drugs all the time. Sex became a key part of her recovery.
“And we didn’t get out of bed for days. It was the perfect place—roaring fires with amazing views over the Sundance ski resort.
“The first time we had sex I couldn’t believe I was looking down at Lindsay Lohan naked. We’d barely gotten through the door when we just ripped each other’s clothes off.
“Lindsay is so hot. She has a great body. Her backside is fantastic, perfect, all plump and round.
“She has great curves but her belly is nice and flat and toned. We couldn’t get enough of each other.”

Who’s horny? Me, that is who. I have always thought that Lindsay was a tight little number, but I had no idea that she was this mentally unstable. That is so hot. Nothing better than an insecure hot girl that has an addictive personality. They try to gain confidence and acceptance by being really good in the sack. Sounds like the story of Lindsay’s life according to Giles.

Basically, according to Giles, Lindsay gave up her drug adiction and replaced with a sex addiction. I think I may get a job working with drug addicts in rehab. Plane ticket to Utah anyone?

I have a theory about women. When the body looks good in sweats, the body is rock solid. High School musical star and amateur nude model Vanessa Hudgens is rock solid.

But apparently boyfriend Zac Efron doesn’t fullfill the needs of this star. Just what the talk is, I didn’t say it. Well,I guess I did say it depending on how you want to look at this.

Apparently Vanessa isn’t a huge fan of his pansy attitude. Imagine that, a young girl looking for a bad boy. I predict she ends up dating a washed up Motley Crew band member for a stint. A stint, you know, a Hollywood second.

Eva showed up to the opening of her PETA nude shoot images in Beverly Hills. She also got naughty with herself by slapping her on but. Weirdly, it’s hot. But then at the same time, she could slap a refrigerator with a wooden spoon and it would be hot. I am always nice to animals, to be honest, I like dogs more than people. People pretty much suck.

But eve if I hated the critters, I would change my mind after this PETA campaign. I am shallow like that. If she posed nude for for bombing Canada, I would probably join the army.

It is being rumored that Ash got hammered the other night in Hollywood and gave Pete Wentz a lap dance. I guess she did some lesbian stuff also. Pretty standard Hollywood ho stuff. I am personally sick of the fake lesbian routine, I want to see some of these girls get some guts and go the distance. Go all or go not, that is the way I look at it.

Ashlee is looking really good these days. Plus she is young, stupid and dumber than her sister, all of which are beneficial if you ask me. And since you are on this site, you asked.

Or so says Page Six.
“Jamie Lynn has a very soft personality,” says the family insider, who added that Jamie Lynn often had to suffer her sister’s tantrums when they were growing up. “She loves Britney, not Britney’s temper.”
Though Britney, 26, and Jamie Lynn, 16, have since spoken about the pregnancy, their conversations have been “clinical” and awkward.
“Their relationship is estranged,” says the source. “Jamie Lynn does not recognize Britney as the sister she grew up with, so she has gone to her friends, her boyfriend and her mom when she needs someone.”
“It is mostly by Britney’s choice,” says the insider. “She is so self-absorbed in her own life that she has forgotten what is important in life, like her family.”

Imagine that, Britney is a Bi**ch. And a hypocrite. And now an aunt. This family really moves fast. Honestly, the only benefit to them reproducing is that it always keeps the tabloids on their toes. You can take the girl out of the trailer but not the…

Even funnier, TMZ has some video of Britney driving around Hollywood with her trunk open and a spare tire on. You might check it out. Funny stuff.

Sadly, no.

The Sun
Jessica Alba has no intention of following in the footsteps of Demi Moore, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera and posing naked while pregnant.
Just a week after confirming that she is expecting her first child with boyfriend Cash Warren, it has come to light the 26-year-old beauty has turned down THREE offers of baring all for glossy magazine covers.
A friend says: “Jessica keeps getting phone calls from magazines who want her to pose naked when is about seven months into her pregnancy. They know it will make their magazines sell.
“She had three offers on the first day, but she doesn’t intend to take any of them. She thinks her pregnancy is a personal and private thing.”

What is this world coming to? I mean a nude preggo Jessica is better than no nudes at all. And right now, we are getting no nudes at all. This should be a criminal act. Did I mention that I hate the douchebag that gave her the sex trophy? He gets to see her nude, all the time. I get to see her nude, never. Does that sound fair?

I mean, it is Christmas time, Jessica is apparently a real scrooge. I want to hang the mistletoe this year. With my luck, Rosie O’Donnell will be the one that walks under it. Such is my pathetic life.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is still in production. But the only thing I can think of is remembering that Kristen Bell is hot as hell in a bikini. I don’t really want to see this movie, mostly because I hate to see hot actresses getting felt up by douchebags. Unless the douchebag is me, which changes everything tenfold.

The trailer got taken down by younazi, so we have to go with the screencaps. But who really needs to hear her talk?

Pete Doherty wants to release Kate and his sex tape. But Page Six is saying that Kate’s lawyers are none too thrilled.

The Babyshambles frontman is negotiating with Britain’s ITV2 network to tell all about their romance and share his home videos of her in a documentary titled “Kate & Pete: A Love Story.” Doherty, who split with Moss last summer, could make $1 million, a source said, adding, “Producers hope he’ll let them use a lot of film he and Kate shot on camcorders.”

But an insider told PageSix.com, “Kate is furious with Pete. She has contacted her lawyers and plans to get an injunction to stop the production.” Moss will be horrified if the tapes surface. “Some of it is really raunchy stuff Kate believed would never be seen by anyone else,” we’re told. “She’ll feel betrayed.”

Will there be crack in the video? Not Kate’s crack, that will be expected. Well, maybe I do mean Kate’s crack. I want to see some drug use. I really have no interest in seeing Kate have naughty time with Pete Doherty. Yuck. I would rather watch her do drugs again. Desperation and trainwrecks are far more interesting than malnutrition-ed less-than-super models.

Pam, I don’t think you need much help with this request. Your looks and career were gone well before you started flaunting your new “trick” around Vegas. I have a request for Criss, can you please just make both of you dissapear to a world where being washed up and being a total douchebag is quarantined from the rest of the free world?

Criss needs to trick his hair into being cool also, because this weird flop thing is god-awful. I hate magicians. Except Carrot Top, because he is the real deal. And he is more attractive than Pamela at this point.