I guess she has like three movies coming out this year, which is a good thing. Not because I am going to see her movies, but because she will do a ton more promotions such as this one. Hopefully the movies bomb and she resorts to releasing a sex tape or at the very least, does a nude shoot for penthouse. The sex tape would be way more awesome though.

These pictures are supposed to be classy, which is code for no nipples or lude acts. But hey, we take what we can get, right?

More Kate Beckinsale Allure magazine pictures.

These pictures for from the La Senza Lingerie company. Um, yeah, good move hiring Petra Nemcova as your spokesmodel. This pretty much insures that their product will be all over every guy’s PC wallpaper from here to Hong Kong. She is simply gorgeous. I mean, this is perfection.

Didn’t James Blunt dump her? Good call dude….whatever….

I have always loved her. She is such a vision of love, particularly when she doesn’t have clothes on. Actually, she really finds a way to NOT allow the twins to out on recess, which is disappointing. However, you are into the caboose, Mariah is looking pretty damn hot back there if you ask me. Kinda makes me wish I was a ghetto rap star so I could tap that ….

I especially love the how she has a little champagne in her hand while she is topless on a beach. I love the jungle background, very fitting….what? Hey, I’m just say’n….
More Mariah Carey topless pictures.

Megan Fox was in attendance for the Versace Fashion show in Milan. And she brought out the twins. Look, she is hot, I would do her. So would you. blah blah. But I do have a question. Is her left breast like a half-inch higher than her right? Look, I don’t care, I am just asking a question here. Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, but there does seem to be a breastqualibrium issue if you ask me.

Man does she look good though.

More Megan Fox breast pictures.

Honestly, why would you expect Amy Winehouse to trash a Hotel room? I mean, come on, I am sure she is in bed early every night watching reruns for Friends and Seinfeld.

Not the case. Apparently….hope your sitting down…..spills drinks all over Hotel rooms. Oh, also, she smokes in non-smoking rooms.

The Sun says, Booze was spilled all over the wooden hallway and cigarette butts, countless bottles of champagne and unwashed knickers were all over the floor. The blackened bath had to be scrubbed and unclogged after she dyed and washed her famous beehive in the tub. She had even taken a large mirror off the wall and placed it on the floor. Staff were baffled why. I’m not.

I wonder if when she check into a Hotel they just automatically put her down for a smoking room. I wonder what they would do if she asked for non-smoking? I love how the staff was baffled. After they cleaned up, they went directly back down to their caves.

And….about that Blake guy….the one that tried to overdose in jail.

The singer was in tears as she spoke to Blake through a pane of glass, in a room separate from other prisoners. Their marriage has been under strain since we revealed Blake has been trading signed photos of her for heroin. 

I want to go to this jail. Sounds like the stuff you get in there is sooo much better than the stuff you get from all the Sig Ep kids on Campus drive.

Katie Price did another signing for Jordan: Pushed to the limit.

I think the only person that cared less than me about this signing was Katie, who looks about as happy as a guy in the waiting room just before he gets his prostate checked. I mean, her outfit looks like she is heading to Target after this to pick up some toilet paper. Her makeup is very Orange County Houswife looking.

Just overall, not a good combo going on here. However, I would love to get a signing from her. A private one.

More Katie Price pictures.

Ummm…can anyone say serial killer? What is wrong with him now? He looks like a mix between Pee Wee Herman and Satan.

Star says, “After he was stopped, his car was searched and some marijuana - less than two ounces - was found in the vehicle,” Kimble County Sheriff Michael Chapman told Star. “Mr. Carter was placed under arrest and charged with misdemeanor possession of marijuana and speeding. His car was impounded.” 

They actually took his two pit bulls and impounded them. Not to worry though, Satan got out and was able to bail them out. Apparently he was really upset. I didn’t think Satan ever cried. This really hurts to find out, like when I found out that Jessica Alba was pregnant.

I really think he needs to cut his hair and his nose. Like cut his nose off. Thatt thing is just way to pointy. He has the eyes of Rasputin. Weird.

More Satan Aaron Carter pictures.

Well, actually Sports Illustrated got Heidi in the bikini, but Will got to be there and touch her. God how lucky he is. He isn’t a stranger to touching supermodels, but, oddly, this is the first model he has fondled whereas he is the better looking option for the girl. I like Seal, but come on…Sports Illustrated has really hit the nail on the head with all their bikini shoots. I mean, who doesn’t want to see Heidi Klum in a bikini.

More Heidi Klum bikini pictures.

Christina Ricci attended her latest movie premier, Penelope, last night. And she looked stunning. Note to Tila Tequila, this is how you wear short and hot without looking like a hooker. Not that looking like a hooker is bad, but having a silly reality TV show where your “real” character parades like Time’s Square’s finest isn’t good.

I like short girls. They make me feel, well, bigger. Which is something I need to feel. Not going into to detail, but short is very good for me. And Christina fits the bill.

Call me Christina.

More Christina Ricci pictures.

Page Six says, “I guess in some people’s eyes, [nerds] might be mildly sexy - and, as a nerd, I’m certainly happy to enjoy some of the effects of that. But as far as the very brief affair that I had with Natalie, it’s made me a target of a lot of nerd wrath,” the techno-whiz tells next month’s Spin. “You don’t date Luke Skywalker’s mom and not have them hate your guts.” 

Don’t nobody know my troubles but God!!! Moby? A nerd? Never. I think these super hot chicks like Natalie Portman do this crap on purpose, just to make halfway decent losers like myself feel even worse about my weekends. I mean, it is Friday, why not stomp out my heart with your wicked heels Natalie.

I don’t know how much of a nerd that Moby actually qualifies as though. I mean, he is rich. Money does make the world go round and chicks dig dudes with a bankroll. Plus he has that artist thing going for him. He actually gets a free pass to abuse drugs and hook up with other chicks, just because he has record labels after him.

People says, The babies were born early Friday in Long Island, N.Y. The girl was born at 12:12 a.m. and weighed 5 lbs. 7 oz., and the boy followed at 12:23 a.m., weighing 6 lbs.
“Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon,” Lopez’s manager Simon Fields tells PEOPLE exclusively.

What is over the moon? Ok, nevermind. Anyways, at least this means J-Lo gets to start working out again and getting that booty back into voluptuousoty (that means the state of being voluptuous). And hopefully not having anymore aliens with Marc Anthony.

Um, if Ageprogression.org is correct in their assessment of Britney Spears, she would not be a good investment if you are the marrying type. This is what they say Britney will look like at age 46. And unless you like filth, she doesn’t look good. In fact, it appears that Age Progression has somehow forecasted that she will be hit by a bus at some point between now and age 46. A big bus. I would like to see this graph done on Jamie Lynn. Or Lindsay Lohan.

The Sun says, Reportedly the beauty, whose naked pictures were leaked on to the net last year, is sitting underneath a Christmas tree wearing nothing but a Santa hat and a red thong.
She says to the camera: “I’ve been a good girl this year.”
Then boyfriend ZAC EFRON appears before nature takes its course.

Um. Wow. My Thursday has absolutely been made. How unbelievably hot does that sound? Except of course for the Zac Efron arousal part, which kind of made me sick, and made me think the entire story was a sham.

I can say one thing for certain, I have been naughty. Very very naughty. I would 100 percent be down for this kind of girlfriend. Man, I am really not living the life I always imagined.

And what a great interview they are. Those babies look amazing if you ask me. It really is unfortunate that Christina continues to sport the Vegas Hard Rock hotel hooker look. She could try for a touch of class here and there. But hey, $500 sounds good to me any day.

These are taken from her appearance on Ellen yesterday. Ellen must have been very impressed with those knockers.

It’s just unfortunate that it opens. Well, not always unfortunate, but you know what I mean. I guess her and Spencer Pratt are now going to launch a video game.

US Magazine says, “You can definitely play as us or you can play against us,” Pratt said. “You can even torture me.”
He said “there’s going to be two versions: the adult version and the one for minors,” adding, “just be ready, that’s all I have to say.”

Unless the game involves Heidi showing up at my house with KY and a variety of lingerie, I am not really into this. What a dumb idea. These two idiots are taking idiocy to a new and very undesirable level. I think and intervention is now needed. Why can’t she just start doing adult films so I can have some respect for her?

Page Six says, According to a source at JC Penney’s “American Living” launch at Skylight on Hudson Street, “Nick was complaining the whole time he was there. He started whining, ‘When can I get out of here?’ and refusing to take photos. That’s what he was paid to show up for.” 

Wow man, your new life consist of showing up at resorts and events and just standing around, taking photos with people, etc., and you seriously can’t handle that? How on earth did you ever manage to be in a band. I can see why Jessica Simpson would bounce from you to an NFL football player. Kind of makes sense when you think about it, doesn’t it?

You look stupid standing by the Hot Wheels logo, by the way.

Here’s an idea, why don’t you try actually having a career. Even Jessica Simpson now does work out videos. 

Here are some more Nick Lachey pictures.

Pregnancy 1.

Jennifer Lopez 0.

Oh well, I mean really, how long could we expect her to hang on. All we can hope for now is for her to snap back into place after she has this whale of a kid.

Page Six says, Monday, we reported the room, which is furnished with a leather couch, had “been sitting empty for two weeks” in preparation for the pop diva’s twins. But a recent patient at the hospital told Page Six that during her visit, staffers were aflutter, exclaiming, “J.Lo is here!” 

Twins. Man, talk about drawing a Six of Diamonds when you really need the Ace. I don’t think I will ever like these kids, just for the fact that they ruined such a hot babe.

More Jennifer Lopez Pregnant pictures.

Courtesy of her dad, Jamie Spears.

OK! Magazine says, Britney’s father is not allowing her to drink alcohol, see her friends and insists that she prays in her pajamas every night. Jamie has also been encouraging his daughter to teach childrens’ classes at her favorite hangout, Millennium Dance Complex. 

Should Britney really be around children? I almost think she would be better suited to teach kids dance after a few mimosas. Just my opinion though. Maybe it would balance her out. And really, if he is going to start making her do things, how about having her NOT wear those nasty fishnets with the holes all throughout them?

Good idea? Ya, it is. I am full of good ideas.

So Natalie Portman looked a bit more doable than Scarlette Johansson at their new movie premier in London, The Other Boleyn Girl.  Remember, they have been seen a lot lately, here is Scarlette Johansson and Natalie Portman looking hot on the morning show in New York the other day. Like I said in my other post, I wish they were doing a lesbian adult film. That would be awesome. I have a feeling this new movie is going to suck. Most movies with only female leads tank at the box office.

Hey, it’s just a fact, I didn’t make that up.

More Scarlette Johansson and Natalie Portman pictures.

Lindsay Lohan’s dad isn’t going to look at her recent nude photos. I say this is a good and obvious thing.

US Magazine says, “I’m not going to look at the photos — that’s my daughter!” he told Usmagazine.com in a telephone interview this morning.
“Lindsay is an adult, and she knows the direction she wants to take her career,” he said. “It’s her decision.”

In case you have been living in a cave, or in Iran, the pictures he is talking about are the nude, topless, Lindsay Lohan dressed like Marilyn Monroe pictures. 

They do look great, unless you aren’t into freckles, in which case you probably don’t like Lindsay Lohan in general.