Not difficult when she is wearing lingerie. Wow, I just realized how dirty minded I am. There is probably a story here, you know, some journalistic aspect as to why her bust exploding out of her top and why she is wearing lingerie with some other hot friends. I mean, in one of the pictures, her girlfriend is pulling down her bottoms.

Digging deeper into the evidence, I found a story.

It’s titled: Once upon a panty raid.

But I’m not going to tell the story, because the story is a lie I made up in my head for self-gratifying purposes. But feel free to enjoy more of Kim Kardashian’s luscious lingerie pictures.

If there is one hooker that Ashley Dupree could learn a lot from, it’s Heather Mills. Heather has to be the most successful hooker of all-time. I mean, she is the Spud Webb of hookers (Spud was a really short basketball player). Heather only has one leg to spread, yet she just keeps getting richer and richer and richer. When you think about the entire debacle, it’s pretty amazing. There should be a hooker hall of fame. An honorary inductee day. Heather’s picture should be painted as murals on walls all across low income housing projects so other hookers can have a dream.

Page Six says, One insider said Mills is demanding 1 million British pounds - or slightly more than $2 million - to not only talk, but share intimate photos and tape recordings she made of the ex-Beatle without his knowledge. Mills is also said to be pitching to American networks, which could get around their “we don’t pay for news” proclamations by paying for her pictures and tapes. “She’s greedy,” said a person who knows of Mills’ dealings. “She should just go away, but she loves the spotlight and the attention.” 

She’s greedy? Say it isn’t so?

Before Ashley was playing hustle and flow ho with government officials, and even before she was an almost millionaire,  Ashley Dupree was my bachelor party wet dream. I’m not married and I have never been married. So I have never had a bachelor party. But if I did have a bachelor party, and if my friends brought Ashley Dupre to my bachelor party.

That would be motherf&*c%ing AWESOME!

Whoa…let me calm down for a second.

Ok. Anyways, here is what the video is about.

Palm Beach Post says, Amber hopped on a table in the middle of a hotel lobby crammed with frat boys, one producer told The Post, and launched into a raunchy strip-tease. That’s when the camera crew packed up and returned to their monster bus to leave town.
When asked by our reporter about the party, Amber said: “It got crazy. It was everything you thought it would be.
“It’s not stupid to do it (take off your clothes for GGW). It’s all fun and games.”

It was everything I thought it would be, everything I wanted it to be, and everything I would want in my bachelor party. It’s really unfortunate that a prerequisite for having a bachelor party is finding a girl that likes you enough to say yes to marriage.

Tough world out there.

Here are some more Ashley Dupree table dancing, girls gone wild, pictures

By using a blend of cigarettes, malnutrition and sunlight, scientist have successfully ruined the hot girl from American Pie. And by ruined, I mean they have created a walking catastrophe capable of falling over or losing a fragile limb at any minute. The hotness that once was, is no more. The sexual appeal is in a ziplock bag sealed up in a lab. Her attraction is boiling in a bunsen burner as I write this.

The experiment is called “once was.”

More Tara Reid skeletor bikini pictures

Or she is auditioning for the 80’s Nair commercial line. We wear short shorts! I have to say, Jen just keeps looking better and better. It’s really too bad that Angelina Jolie is still hotter. Just kinda ruins Jen’s party. For the past year, Jennifer Aniston has been popping up in bikini’s, her butt toned. I think she is trying to prove something to Angelina. Hey, the effort is all that counts and the work is paying off.

More Jennifer Aniston pictures.

When Girls Gone Wild, newly released and vilianized owner, Joe Francis got out of the big house, the first thing he did was go offer a prostitute money. For nude photos that is. And he offered her a cool million for them. That is until he had a revelation and asked his staff to search the database for Ashley.

What did they find? Pictures of Ashley celebrating her 18th birthday in a Girls Gone Wild van. Nude. Joe saved the money, and us, well we get to see the goods. Very soon.

AP says, “It’ll save me a million bucks,” Francis told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “It’s kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch.”
He said his employees got to work on pulling the footage and planned to offer it on the Web site by Tuesday evening, with a free sampling on the front page and the rest available with a $29.95 monthly subscription.

You knew the love fest wouldn’t last. Particularly when cash is involved. Lots of cash. That family has begun fighting over what each believes to be their share of Heath Ledger’s estate.

People says, Ledger’s uncle Mike insists the family has nothing to gain by removing Kim: “Our only vested interest is to assure that Matilda is well looked after.”
Mike added that Kim’s recent statement that Matilda “will be taken care of” was not enough assurance. “When you are talking about large sums of money like this,” he says, “it should be an independent executor, but Kim hasn’t chosen that way.”

If the money is for Matilda, why is Kim not choosing the independent executor? Probably because she needs a new pair of shoes.

Hey, I’m just keepin’ it real.

This is impressive to say the least. They both showed up at the DCMA collective flagstore opening flaunting their jugs. And I have to say, Nicole’s seem to be the winner in the ditzy breastoff competition. Nicole’s have a pornstar look to them, and maybe that’s just what I am in the mood for this morning. Or every morning for that matter. Paris’ look great, they actually look classier to be honest.

But sometimes class just doesn’t cut it for guys. Sometimes we need lactation. I mean, not that I need to lactate, but you get the idea. I bet this event went outstanding for Benji and Joel Madden, they must be proud.

Bore Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie breast pictures

You gang raped a Beatle and took him for nearly $50 million dollars and now you are worried about people finding out? Ummm…Heather, you went to court underneath a swarm of media presence!

The Daily Mirror says, “She’s worried about how the full judgment will make her look if it’s published - and she doesn’t want to go there.
“Her conduct during the divorce is being questioned. She was so angry she tipped a glass of water over Fiona Shackleton’s head leaving her with soaking wet hair.
“Everyone was stunned. That kind of behaviour is just not acceptable.”

I guess everyone knows now Heather. And what a jacka$% you come off as. I guess you will just have to suffer in the new labrynth you purchase. Or maybe you can just use the money to move to the moon and create a new society of friends. You can make sure there is no Internet up there so you don’t have to worry about the real you being outted!

In other words, do you think this was a big picture…part of the plan…kinda thing? I mean, there has to be some sort of symbiotic relationship between her naming herself “Scary” and the way she looks in a bikini now. If this wasn’t planned, then I really have to say that this is the most fantastic and astounding bit of irony in the history of all celebs. I mean, it really couldn’t have worked out better for her had an alien crawled out of her head.

I’m amazed.

More Scary Spice bikini pictures for ya.

And also, I want her back.

I would like to take back everything that I have said about her over the course of the past few years. Why? Because, she looks hot again and I want sleep with her. Again. That’s how guys work, and I’m a guy, so that’s how it is. She really does look cute in the trailer, I know I will be watching. Although it must be a really strange feeling to show up for sitcom work as a guest star and not even have the right to buy a shirt or not sell your cars.

Heather Mills got a leg up on Paul McCartney (ya, I said it) yesterday by taking him for for $48.6 million dollars. Because, you know she is worth that because she was married to him recently and really was the driving force behind the Beatles sensation. I am sure that behind the scenes, she really contributed so much of her life to the Beatles in 2000+. Oh, the sacrifices she must of made, whatever would she have done with $48.6 million dollars.

More here.

AP says, A document released by the Family Court said the judge awarded Mills a lump sum of $33 million plus the assets she currently holds worth $15.6 million.
“I’m so, so happy with this,” Mills told reporters following the closed hearing.

Of course you’re happy, you’re a gold digger who dug up a lot of gold.

More Heather Mills pictures.

This is just weird. Check out these pictures of Sarah Larson, George Clooney’s boobless model girlfriend. This is her modeling the new swimsuits from Ashley Paige. Before becoming a boobless model girlfriend to George Clooney, she was a boobless Vegas coctail waitress. Might be a good idea for George to by her some boobs, sounds like a good cause to me. I really can’t see how he is into her. I think she might be below even my standards, which is saying a lot because I barely have standards.

More Sarah Larson pictures.

It’s a girl! Ya, I don’t really care, I just put the exclamation point in there to spice up the post.

People says, Halle Berry – who only recently said, “I want to stay pregnant forever” – had a baby girl Sunday and “is doing great,” her rep has confirmed. 

You might as well have stayed pregnant forever, seems to be the trend with Hollywood women. Whatever happened to women putting their careers ahead of their families? Man, those sure were the days. But they are long gone. By saying she wants to “stay pregnant forever,” she is basically saying that she doesn’t mind being fat.

Think about that for a second, sometimes the writing is on the wall!

More Halle Berry pregnant pictures.

The Anti-Christ herself got together with The Anti-Semitic himself and themselves some dinner. I can only assume the the dinner was a meeting of the crazies.

TMZ says, The two were at Romanov Restaurant and Lounge in L.A. last night and according to one report they broke bread together. Our sources say Gibson, his wife Robin and their kids reached out to Britney during her darkest days and began seeing her.
We’re told Mel and Robin feel like they know how tough it is to live in a fishbowl and they think they can help the Britster. There have been private dinners in which Mel, Robin and their brood have hooked up with Brit to give her support.

Of all the worthy charities in the world, like sponsoring strippers for example, when did Saving Britney Spears become a noble act? The Lord sure does work in mysterious ways I suppose.

More Britney Spears pictures.

Sometimes I think we need to be reminded of how great South Park is, and has been. So that’s what I am doing this wonderful Sunday morning, reminding you of how great this show is. I love how Jimmy Buffet comes in at the end and does a little singing, much to the dismay of the South Park kids. I could watch this show all day long. In fact, sometimes that’s exactly what I do.

I have too much time on my hands. There’s a reason I am an underachiever.

The album title is Hard Candy, in case you are blind and can’t see the image. Actually, if you are blind, unless your computer rocks, I doubt you can read what I just said. I love Madonna, she was just inducted into the Hall of Fame, remember? Britney wasn’t. I am however sure the Counting Crows have an album with the same title. I know a lot of people don’t like the weird leather outfit she is wearing, but I do. Mostly because I am a FREEEAAAK! Ya, too much information I guess. Particularly on a Sunday.

I love me some Material Girl. Keep on rockin’ Madonna.

There were some rumors going around that this, like her latest monk companion, was all trickery staged by Ashton Kutcher and his new show, Pop Fiction. As if we need anymore Ashton Kutcher. Thankfully, this is the real deal, or so says Paris.

US Magazine says, “He’s been my friend for a couple of years now, and we’re really happy,” gushed Hilton, who said Madden was by her side during the 8 a.m. telephone interview.
She said it was his idea to wear the matching ‘ BM’ and ‘PH’ rings. “That was a very special present I got,” Hilton said. “He’s really sweet.”

This will last. Totally a good idea Paris. Might as well add “Divorce” to the resume.

More Paris Hilton engaged Pictures. Check out the ring. How obnoxious.

It’s not too late to get to church this morning and cleanse your soul after seeing this. She looks like the vision I would expect to have during an exorcism. No wonder the Spice Girl’s tour is such a failure. What a total mess Scary Spice is, I am not even going to go into how her name is fitting, that’s overplayed and waaaaayyy to easy. Keep drinking Scary, unfortunately that only works when you are looking at someone else, not yourself. She looks like a prisoner at a California’s Women’s Facility, or Mens.

Either that or she is from Riverside.

If you are into torturing yourself, here are more Scary Spice pictures.

Her most embarrassing moment was actually more embarrassing and uncomfortable to listen to than it was to actually experience. I like this chick, I think she’s hot, but she probably isn’t going to last. Too many good singers this year.

Ummm…how drunk is Paula? She may be taking way too many pain killers before the show. She just seems like a total mess. I wouldn’t mind hooking up with her though, I bet she is amazing in the sack (in a Britney Spears sort of way, of course).