Ashton Kutcher has more friends than you do.

Ashton Kutcher beat out CNN and Britney Spears in getting 1 million friends on Twitter. I can’t tell you how impressed I am. Seriously, last time I was this impressed I was making paper airplanes and throwing them at the TV during Making the Band season 198. Here is more amazement from People.

For the past few days, he’d been locked in a race with CNN’s breaking news feed — (@cnnbrk), but just before midnight Thursday he became the first “Twitter millionaire.” Around 1:30 he tweeted, “Victory is ours!!!!!!!!” and posted a twitpic of the win.
Kutcher says he’s donating 10,000 mosquito nets to the medical charity Malaria No More to celebrate, and the video-game publisher Electronic Arts says the millionth follower will become a character in “The Sims.” Plus, there’s the promised ding-dong-ditch of Ted Turner’s Atlanta home to look forward to!

Ashton Kutcher uses Twitter to post Demi’s butt pics.

In what seems like the most moronic thing I have ever read, Ashton Kutcher used his Twitter account to Tweet a picture of his wife, Demi Moore, bending over in a bikini. The best part is he thought he was being sly.

watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!
9:43 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

I’m not wearing the bikini she is that’s what makes it so glorious
9:46 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

shhh don’t tell wifey
10:11 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

Welcome to the Internet, Ashton.

Ashton Kutcher doesn’t like his neighbors.

And he wants you to know it. He also has some very classy terms for the neighbor guy that is apparently doing something with the roof. He’s “pounding.” Ashton is really tough in this video. He also needs a better camera to use for future toughness.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at Sundance.

How long can this ridiculousness between Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher possibly last? I mean, people are talking about how long it will take for Demi to get tired of the boytoy and dump him, but I am thinking he will get sick of her and want to go back out on the open Hollywood market for something more along the lines of, say, Hayden Panettiere? Works for me. I mean, certainly he doesn’t want the prime of his life attached to an older woman? I get doing it for a while, good times, but come on….oh yeah, this two lovebirds were seen here at Sundance Film Festival where Ashton’s movie, Spread, premiered.