Well first it was Heidi Montag and her plastic boobs making an appearance again, now it’s time for a little Audrina Patridge bikini time. Ah how I so miss The Hills! Crappy prewritten reality TV, chick fights, shallow conversations, and just basic television garbage. Oh, and most importantly, super hot chicks in bikinis. Audrina Patridge is definitely a favorite bikini girl of mine, seriously, check her out. She was replaced by Kate Upton in the Carl’s JR commercials (fair enough I’d say) but Audrina’s curves still got it. I guess when your claim to fame resume is a scripted reality show, TV jobs might be slower to come knocking, so that means just lots of time at the beach. In a bikini.

That’s what I’d do.

Well, you know what I mean. I wouldn’t exactly wear a bikini. Or if I did, you wouldn’t know about it because that is something I’d do in my secret Ninja life.

Enjoy Audrina Patridge in a bikini. I need to go change.

I usually try not to post magazine scans unless they show some amazing celebrity nudity, and this is definitely the case. Audrina Patridge is topless in the June edition of Ralph magazine, and with the size boobs she’s got, I think this qualifies as “amazing celebrity nudity”, don’t you agree?

Although Audrina is indeed topless, she chose not to show her nipples in this pictorial (what a terrible waste), and positioned her arms strategically so that they remain hidden. I don’t know what the big deal is, if she’s going to show ALL that boobage that spans like 30 inches across, why bother hiding her nipples, which are just about an inch wide?

Anyway, here’s Audrina Patridge Topless. Enjoy!

There seems to be some really bad blood between Audrina Patridge and Heidi Montag, and the latter’s husband, Spencer Pratt took to Twitter yesterday and ripped Patridge a new e-ass, by saying:

Audrina – Don’t hate because your nasty Tijuana plastic surgery got you no press… and my wife is #1 story on people – 5 days in a row! Oh the truth is coming… I’m not playing anymore. Everyone stay tuned… it’s all coming out!

About 30 minutes later he added:

Audrina – you want press? Leak another 50 naked photos of yourself like u did to get relevant to in the first place!

So the nude photos of Audrina Patridge that were leaked online a few months ago were self-leaked. Hmmm… Does that ever happen in Hollywood? Who would’ve thought?

Audrina Patridge is on vacation in the Caribbean with her boyfriend Ryan Cabrera, and she has obviously spent the entire time in her favorite outfit: a bikini. Here is a handful of photos to prove so, and as you can see in all of them, Audrina’s boobies are constantly overflowing her bikini top.

It’s really a shame that this chick is in a relationship. You know, girls with boyfriends usually don’t pose for Playboy. And Audrina really, really needs to be in Playboy! May be now that she’ll be unemployed after the final episode of The Hills, she’s reconsider.

Speaking of The Hills, I bet if they could re-start the show, they’d change its name to The Mounds. Between Audrina Patridge’s and Heidi Montag’s tits, they have enough saline water in that show to create a new ocean. Good thing it’s staying contained inside their perfect figures!

Taking advantage of a break in her work, Audrina Patridge is in Las Vegas this week, where she was the host of a pool party at Wet Republic at the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino, to celebrate Easter Sunday. Her tiny black bikini wasn’t exactly what you’d expect to see at an Easter party, but it looked great on her. The celebration was kind of intimate, with just a couple of dozens of her closest friends that gathered around her VIP poolside cabana.

Enjoying the Vegas sun and the fun company, Audrina seemed to have had a great time, and she was certainly quite excited to get together with her friends. On her twitter stream, the The Hills star wrote:

“Girls trip to vegas!!!…. Hosting pool party at wet republic. Hopefully it’ll warm up.”

Audrina Patridge seems to be immune to the cold, and even in the dead of winter she’s always walking around in a bikini. Except that this morning she wasn’t walking, but skating.

Audrina left her West Hollywood house early today to work her fantastic body, perched on top of some old fashioned white and pink skates, and dressed in bikini bottoms and a little purple top. Sadly she had a bra under her top keeping us from getting a better view of her nipples. Otherwise we would have been able to get some fantastic pokey pictures of her (it was in the low 50’s in Los Angeles this morning; I checked). May be next time she’ll forget that pesky bra!

Audrina Patridge hasn’t been in much lately, except for a handful of magazines where she’s been flaunting her assets, and FHM is one of them. Dressed in a series of bikinis, the The Hills babe posed in Hawaii for the latest issue of FHM UK, and she even took her bikini top off for some of the photos, although she wasn’t daring enough to show her massive tits to the photographer. Still, you get to see some side boob and just knowing that she’s holding her bare massive melons with her hands should be enough to give any man a good hard-on.

Despite these bikini photos that focus heavily on her boobs, the dark haired actress has been trying to show to the world that she’s more than just boobs, and after the recent release of her ad for PETA, Audrina has started a personal campaign to get people to adopt their next pet. During a recent interview she said:

I wanted to get involved with PETA because I’ve always been passionate about animals, and I think this is a great way to make people and all my fans aware of all the animals that need a home. And a lot of people go to pet stores and breeders to buy their animals, but you should adopt, so go to an animal shelter and rescue a dog.

I’m not sure I need another puppy at this time, but if Audrina is up for adoption, I’m willing to give her a very loving home!

Here are Audrina Patridge’s Maxim pictures. Um, they pretty much speak for themselves if you ask me. And I’m now hungry for cake. Awesome.

Corey Bohan’s life is better than yours. At least if you go by these pictures that have his girlfriend, Audrina Patridge, taking time off from The Hills to give him a massage in the park. Or maybe this is an episode of The Hills? Who knows anymore. All the same, I have no idea if a Happy Ending took place. But hey, I’d tak

Audrina Patridge is going to bat for the little doggies by not only posing in skimp for PETA, but also by pressing the little doggies against her boobs. Really, what about guys like me that need help? I could use and Angel for Me. Ok, I know, the little doggies need help. Audrina is saying no to puppy mills and yes to shelters. Good cause. Nice boobs. Outstanding stomach. Cute dog. This post has all the elements of awesome.