Britney Spears takes on a bikini.

First and foremost, I would like to apologize to those readers that were visually harmed by the earlier Madonna-hooker-old-bag-lady costume pictures. I really want to try to make up for them by posting these pictures of Britney Spears in a bikini hanging out in South Beach, Miami. I know, she’s not what she used to be, but after looking at the Madonna pictures, I really believe she looks like a 10 here. To be honest, she does look pretty good, but I like ‘em like that! Anyways, give these pictures a go.

Britney Spears parenting skills could use some work.

There is nothing like utilizing a stripper pole and fishnet stockings during a family oriented event, at least if you are Britney Spears. Britney is denying claims that Kevin Federline is trying to kep the kiddos away from Britney’s stripperlicious Circus tour, by saying she actually has been bringing them to the shows.

Contrary to rumors linked to false articles, Britney Spears’ sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, will be joining her on the entire Circus tour and will be attending shows as planned. Britney’s family is a huge inspiration and she loves having them on the road with her.

These family fun Britney Spears sliding down fire engine poles were taken last night in Atlanta. Enjoy.

Britney Spears opens up tour in New Orleans.

Fresh off of Mardi Gras, the city of New Orleans got treated to something even stranger than the caravan of strange costumes that parade St. Charles and Canal streets respectively. They got to play witness to the carnival of Britney Spears costumes, including a genie theme, cop theme and some umbrella gig. Basically, all the essential nessecary for a good ole fashioned bachelor party. Man, I love strippers. Oh wait, anyways, Britney Spears Circus Tour is now in full swing. Coming to a city near you.

Britney Spears, the new Candies girl.

Move over Hayden Panettiere, Britney Spears has dethrowned you as the Candies girl for 2009. Britney’s new hard abs, which are back to her early form, apparently got her some nice accolades. Hey, girl looks good if you ask me. Far removed are the days of Hollywood chasing her around gas stations. This is the new Britney Spears. I’d hit it. That’s fo damn sure! Check out a few more sneak peek pictures of Britney as the Candies girl for 2009.

Sam Lufti can’t rub two pennies together.

So anyone that was thinking that Sam Lufti has been using Britney Spears to get cashflow can sleep easy tonight, because its pretty much confirmed. Sam Lufti can barely afford in-and-out burger anymore, much less live in this kind of debt. TMZ says,

According to documents obtained by TMZ, a lien was slapped on Lutfi’s condo back in April. Lutfi never paid the debt, which grew to $18,507.58 by November.
The lien was filed by a debt collection agency on behalf of the homeowner’s association where Lutfi has a condo.
According to docs, Lutfi has until February 10 to pay up or the condo could be forced into foreclosure.
And Lutfi has other financial issues. A bank that issued Sammy boy a Discover Card filed a lawsuit against him last month, claiming he owes $7,966.98.

Times are bad, even when you are a celebrity a$$ kisser. Maybe Sam should request a bailout?

Victoria Prince gets to know K-Feds rugrats…

Victoria Prince, the girl that is too hot for Kevin Federline but dating him regardless because she is having problems paying rent, is now pretending to like Sean Preston and Jayden James. She is seen in a variety of pictures on her maternal media blitz carrying the kids around, holding them, and playing with them. Britney Spears must be so thrilled. No seriously, she must be thrilled to not have to take care of those kids all the time. At least Britney is working on her abs with the downtime. Check out more pictures of Victoria Prince.

Britney Spears has some nice abs.

From the Hollywood fat to the Hollywood flat. Britney’s back, beotch! Here is a picture of Britney in a bikini top, and wow oh wow, what a stomach she has now! This is the old Britney! Maybe Jessica Simpson should call Britney and get on this plan, think? My lord, she looks like she is in fighting shape! Britney, not Jessica….well, maybe Jessica is in fighting shape. She could certainly roll over on a man and smother him!

Britney Spears deamed interesting, to write autobiography.

According to the Daily Mirror, Britney Spears has been offered $14 million to write her own autobiography. Or at least have someone that doesn’t speak in Southern tongues do the writing and have someone really creative make it interesting.

Our source reveals: “There have been numerous unofficial biographies printed about Britney, but she’s never agreed to pen her own tome – until now. “And some of the stories she’s got are absolute dynamite. She’s kept diaries so there’s nothing she’ll leave out unless she wants to.
“If the deal goes ahead she will write between three and five books throughout the next decade – it’s one of the most lucrative book deals in showbiz history.
“Britney will talk frankly about growing up and how she went off the rails. It’ll be a gripping read.”

Gripping read, no doubt. Whatever happened to making a sex tape? She truly has fallen off track again.

Sarah Jessica Parker wants Britney Spears.

Well, not exactly in the Madonna way…but according to MTV UK, Sarah wants to cast Britney Spears in the next Sex and The City movie. Anyone who has ever seen Britney in Crossroads can totally see why she would be good in Sex and The City! Just kidding, of course But hey, she is nice to look at once again, so that goes a long ways.

It seems Britney who made her cameo on US TV show How I Met Your Mother last year would play a young relative of SJP’s character Carrie Bradshaw.
Sarah Jessica told friends: “My idea is to have someone like Britney Spears move to New York as my cousin or niece and Carrie would show her the ropes.”

Britney Spears, regular coke with a splash of nipples.

I really do think Britney Spears has come a long ways in reviving her hotness, but I don’t think that her nipples have ever recovered, now will they ever. So unfortunately, gotta give Britney a bad grade on this nipple slip, that at one time would have been super awesome. Now its just a story that I have to post to get on with the day. Oh well, at least she has come around. Also, when I said “coke,” I literally meant coke. Look at the pictures and get your minds out of the gutters. Thanks.