Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse’s husband is still in jail, and Winehouse herself is still a mess. According to London’s Daily Mail, Winehouse was spotted outside a friend’s house in chilly old London only half dressed this past Sunday, “distraught and looking up and down the street as if she was expecting somebody, but nobody showed up,” said a witness. Amazingly, Winehouse looks…well, I hate to say it…but she looks better without her makeup and her crazy beehive hair. That’s a pretty rockin’ bra, too! Amy Winehouse, you’ve outdone yourself, girl!

Have you ever wondered why Amy Winehouse’s hair is so big, even when she’s not performing? Well, the mystery is unraveling, as Winehouse was caught on tape this week pulling a kleenex out of her beehive. I knew that all that space was for storage purposes! Much cheaper than renting a storage unit, that’s for sure. Jail officials should be alerted, though — that beehive might be used for smuggling in more than cigarettes to her jailbird hubby…if they haven’t already.

Amy Winehouse fans were treated to an intimate little look at how the singer will be by the time her husband gets out of prison in fifty years, at a concert the other night: drunk, teetering, and wrecked. After coming on stage half an hour late, Winehouse slurred her way through four songs before dropping her microphone and walking off stage. Here’s my favorite quote from one of her former fans:

“She fell into the guitar stand and dropped the microphone - it was atrocious. The song she dedicated to her husband was so bad it was like swinging a cat round your head.”

I love that it’s not just like a cat dying, but like a cat being swung around your head. Nice! Although, I guess most of the time she sounds like a cat dying, so he had to make the distinction for the sake of accuracy.

According to the Daily Mail, Amy Winehouse went to visit her jailhouse hubby, Blake Fielder-Civil, yesterday, looking “visibly distraught.”

“The strain appears to be taking its toll on the Rehab singer, who was teary eyed as she stopped into a store near the jail to pick up some supplies for her man. Amy, who wore a checked red shirt, jeans and scuffed ballet flats, was spotted buying a 20-pack of cigarettes and some of his favourite snacks.”

Hmm…she looks just like she usually does, actually. Visibly distraught? Maybe this is some sort of British subtlety, because she looks just as washed up, hung over, and scary-thin as ever…

Amy Winehouse’s husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, was arrested at their home in East London yesterday after police broke into their home with crowbars and a battering ram. Fielder-Civil was taken into custody for alleged connections to a $400,000 trial-fixing plot, for which he could be imprisoned for life. According to the Daily Mail:

A distraught Amy Winehouse wept hysterically and screamed ‘Baby, I love you’ as husband Blake Fielder-Civil was arrested and led away by police officers over an alleged $400,000 trial-fixing plot. Amid dramatic scenes Fielder-Civil, 25, was seized by eight plain clothes officers at the flat in Bow. As he was led away, the 24-year-old singer kissed and hugged him, sobbing: “Baby, I love you. Baby, I’ll be fine.” He was handcuffed by police and led away from an east London flat last night as Winehouse looked on and begged: “I want to go with him.”

Dramatic, huh? I’m curious to know whether Amy Winehouse’s hair was that big, even when the police broke into their flat. Maybe the big hair has really just been a way of hiding evidence. Who would think to look in a massive cloud of beehive? Perhaps, if Fielder-Civil goes to jail, Winehouse can smuggle cakes and books to him, all concealed in that huge pouf of hair.

Look out, Amy Winehouse’s family is going all intervention on her wasted ass. The rehab singing and rehab ditching Amy better start hiding her money because Daddy is trying to grab the piggy bank and cut off her drug funds.

From Dlisted:

Amy Wino’s daddy, Mitch Wino, wants her to sign over all her cash to him. He believes that if he cuts off her drug money it will help her get clean. Mitch is also speaking with attorneys to try and find a way to keep Wino’s husband, Blake, away from her money.

Mitch was overheard telling a friend, “It makes me sick, he’s the reason she’ll die. I’m not going to see him get everything that she worked so hard for,”

So is that what happens when parents get all caring and concerned and stuff? Where’s Dina Lohan and is she taking notes?

Looks like Amy Winehouse’s in-laws aren’t fans of her music. Or maybe it’s her drug-filled, beating up their son and jumping in and out of rehab lifestyle that they don’t approve of. Hmmm…tough call.

From TMZ:

Amy Winehouse’s in-laws have urged fans not to buy the troubled singer’s music.

Giles and Georgett Fielder- Civil said that a boycott would give the pair the wake up call they need to sort out their drug problems.

Well, that could make Christmas with the Crackhouses…sorry, Winehouses awkward. Anyway, judging by these vacation pics, Amy and Blake don’t look too upset by Mum and Dad’s boycott plan.

Amy Winehouse needs help. Not just comfy couch therapy where you talk about all the times your mommy slapped you for playing with her perfume. This girl needs something electric and some heavy medication.

In her most recent bout of less than sanity, Amy and her hubby got into it and made a bloody mess of each other.

From The Daily Mail:

At around 2.30am, said guests, the fight sounded like it had restarted - then Miss Winehouse was seen sprinting down the corridor to the lift, pursued by her badly bleeding husband. One guest who got into the lift to reception at the same time said they started shouting at each other. “Amy was in floods of tears. This guy was screaming at her. She was cowering in the corner and I thought he was going to hit her. When the lift door opened, she took off across the lobby at a real pace. He was chasing after her and was about five paces behind by the time she got to the main hotel entrance.”

The couple then dashed into the street. An eyewitness said: “Just after 3am, Amy came sprinting out and down the road. She was in a real state of panic. Blake was running after her, but couldn’t catch up.”

And then Amy herself defended her hubby:

“Blake is the best man in the world. We would never ever harm each other… I was cutting myself after he found me in our room about to do drugs with a call girl and rightly said I wasn’t good enough for him. I lost it and he saved my life.”

So Amy was about to get wasted with a hooker and when her husband broke the pipe she wailed on him then did some Olympic sprint down the road. Sounds like Ozzie and Harriet to me.

Oh make up your twisted mind already, bitch! She’s in, she’s out, she sober, she’s overdosing. Yo-yo rehabber Amy Winehouse is reportedly back in rehab. Honestly, I didn’t know she had broken out again. Didn’t know, didn’t care, whatever.

From Tje Guardian:

Amy Winehouse has pulled out of this weekend’s V Festival and is heading back to rehab. A statement released by the singer’s record label yesterday confirmed the 23-year-old has also cancelled all scheduled performances for the rest of August.

Tracey Miller, a representative for the singer, said: “Amy Winehouse is putting all her touring commitments on hold until further notice in order to address her health issues… Amy will now not be performing at this weekend’s V Festival in Chelmsford and Staffordshire. Her family has requested that the media respect Amy’s privacy at this time. There will be no further comment.”

How’s this for a comment…I so don’t care anymore. Someone call me when she actually stops using or when she od’s again. Or when killer bees try to move into her ratty beehive. That would be worth writing about.

So the rumor is true, Amy Winehouse has wimped out of her live fast, die young lifestyle and checked herself into rehab. Well, this will make singing her “rehab” song a little awkward at concerts.

From The Daily Mail:

She is seeking help at The Priory in Roehampton after her shocking drink and drugs lifestyle finally took its toll. Amy is understood to be in a private wing of the hospital today, surrounded by her family and friends. Sources say Amy took a dangerous cocktail of drugs and alcohol over a three day period. But friends pleaded with her after the suspected overdose this week, saying, “you will die if you don’t get help”.

A friend claims: “She looked like a zombie — white as a sheet and trembling. And I’ll never forget her eyes. They were dead, like a shark. Even Amy says she will be dead within one year.”

Now here’s a mental image that will haunt your nightmares. If Amy looks like this on a good day, can you imagine what she’s going to look like after 3 days of detox? I won’t be surpised if the nurses start chumming the bathwater just to be on the safe side.

Seriously, this wacko needs a wake up call. Freaky Amy Winehouse was recently released from a London hospital for what her record label called “severe exhaustion” and what pretty much everyone else is calling a drug overdose. Now she is reportedly considering going to rehab…ya think?

From The Daily Mail:

Despite growing concern at her wild partying, the star had always said she would not seek professional help. But a friend revealed she’s “very close” to changing her mind, adding: “Amy got a massive fright when she was hospitalized and is finally coming round to everybody’s pleadings with her to go to rehab. “She now realizes she may need help as her lifestyle finally take its toll. She’s currently discussing the best plan of action with close friends and family.”

Here’s a plan, stop looking like a 1950’s zombie biker princess, get some rehab, buy some eye make-up remover and then see a dentist. Was that so hard? And don’t worry, the first one’s free, but the next time I have to fix your damn life it’s gonna cost you.

Devil may care singer Amy Winehouse has gone and got herself hitched. The outspoken and often outrageous Winehouse married her longtime boyfriend Blake Fielder-Civil in a civil (no relation) ceremony in Miami.

From The New York Post:

The two got engaged last month, and her rep confirmed to Page Six that they “married this Friday, May 18, in Miami. The newlywed couple is very happy.” The ceremony reportedly included six people who were “sworn to secrecy.”

So what are the chances that the renegade singer will show up at her next concert in a housedress with curlers in her hair and wearing a Betty Crokcer apron? Anyway, congrats to the newlyweds.

Rebel singer Amy Winehouse doesn’t give a sh** what you think of her. And apparently she doesn’t care what the postman htinks of her either. Amy was caught by photogs answering her door in what looks like jeans and a bra. I might buy the whole “I didn’t have time to grab a shirt” argument except for the fact that her hair is done. Well, done in an Amy Winehouse cross between a beehive and a spaceship and her make-up (such as it is) is on.

But you have to give props to the mailman who is actually managing to look professional while carrying on a conversation with a half-naked singer who looks like she just rolled of her last john.