Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie is not a happy mommy. The do-gooder star may like sharing her money and her time with those less fortunate, but she doesn’t want to share her mother-in-law. And she really doesn’t want to share Shiloh’s grandma with pseudo-hubby Brad Pitt’s ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston.

From The Post Chronicle:

A source told the New York Post newspaper recently: “Angelina really does not like Jennifer, even though Jennifer has not ever done anything to her and couldn’t care less about her. She doesn’t like that Brad’s mom is still close with Jennifer and is threatened by that.”

According to Life & Style, a Pitt family friend dishes that Angie called called Jane Pitt later on. “Angie is the mother of Jane’s grandchild and feels she deserves more respect,” a Pitt family insider tells the tabloid. “She told her, ‘If you continue to disrespect me and carry on like this, then you won’t see Shiloh.’”

And don’t think she’s exaggerating. Look at what Angie did to her daddy Jon Voight. Angie may feed the poor, but piss her off and she’ll cut you. Not literally, but verbally and publicly and then no one will ever speak to you again because Angelina rules Hollywood.

But I do think that right now Jennifer Aniston is playing with her Angie voodoo doll and doing a little boogie. She finally got to steal something from Angelina.

Angelina Jolie has been taking some shots from celebrity watchers for her alarming weight loss. Now Angie is speaking out against rumors that she is suffering from anorexia, bulimia, cancer, the flesh eating virus and everything else that has been suggested.

Here’s what Angie said (from This is London):

Someone saying to me that I’m thin is not a compliment. I’ve always been lean and this year I lost my mom and I’ve gone through a lot. I have four kids and I finished breastfeeding – it’s been hard to get my nutrition back on track.

Instead of people saying I look like a person dealing with something emotionally, they assume it’s because I want to fit into skinny jeans.

So its not Monkey Pox, she’s just a woman dealing with a passel of kids and losing her mom. You know, the only reason this is news is because its Angelina Jolie and when Angie speaks bloggers listen…then report…with photos.

Angelina Jolie is possibly the coolest chick ever. Not only is she beautiful, a champion do-gooder, a seemingly awesome mom and Brad Pitt’s bed buddy, but she is even nice to the paparazzi who follow her around.

From People:

The stunned shutterbug - whom Jolie as well as her kids had already nicknamed “Lance,” after cycling champ Lance Armstrong - then heard from Jolie herself, who said from the car, “Come on Lance, hop in.”

And as for how he’d describe his hostess on wheels: “Really down to earth, really lovely,” says Ambler - who soon found himself in a brand new position: as the target of the paparazzi lenses, for having had a brush with fame.

Ok, that seriously puts me to shame. I won’t even roll down my window for the guy who wants to wash my windshield with a diry newspaper. I’ll bet Angie would not only tip the guy, she’d take him to dinner and then buy him a condo in Miami.

Angelina Jolie has been a busy girl. She’s spinning faster than a ballerina on crack sitting on a merry go round. Angie has been hitting the talk show circuit to tell her side of the reporters banned from the red carpet fiasco.

From TMZ:

Ms. Jolie was on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” last night, where she was asked about the so-called “ban” clamped on press at the premiere of “A Mighty Heart” in NYC on Wednesday. While Jolie admits a memo was indeed drawn up that asked reporters to limit their questions to the film, she says nobody was forced to sign it. She added that her handlers wrote it, but she personally wouldn’t have put it out there.

Then she went on to say that she’s planning to have more kids than the Brady Bunch (from People):

On Thursday’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart wondered how many kids Jolie wanted in all, asking: “How high we going, you think?”

Jolie quipped: “Yeah, I understand that. Four is kind of kicking our ass, but we kind of feel like, ‘Damn it, we’re up for the challenge!’ ”

So looks like Angie gets her halo back. So back off all you haters. Oh wait, that was me.

Angelina Jolie may play the wife of a slain reporter in her new flick, but the super do-gooder doesn’t have much love for the media. Angie reportedly made life miserable for reporters at the premiere of her new movie A Mighty Heart. First, she allegedly tried to ban FOX News from the event. Then her lawyer told interviewers that they had to sign a contract before speaking to her. From what I hear, the contract said essentially that they could only use her words of wisdom to promote the film, they couldn’t ask about her personal life and they couldn’t say anything bad about her. USA Today and the AP both said “no thanks” and Angie then cancelled all of her print interviews.

Sounds like Angie may have missed the whole freedom of the press theme of the movie. Maybe next time she’ll require all the reporters to adopt small children before they can come into her presence.

On a positive note, Angie and her man Brad Pitt were reportedly really cool with the fans and signed tons of autographs at the premiere.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are just so perfect for each other that it makes me a little queasy. Not that I mind the whole “let’s save the world while we look beautiful” thing they’ve got going on, but would it kill them to have a nasty fight? Or at least take a bad picture every now and then?

Here’s what Angie has to say about how their multi-cultural brood stays so happy:

From The Mirror:

“In our home it is about making sure everyone has individual time, and right now all four of them have daily, very special individual time and we never want to have so many children we can’t do that.

“When they get older and if it starts to feel like we can fit more in, that’s how we’re going to gauge how many we have.”

See that’s class. Me, I’ll probably decide how many kids I have based on how many times I forget to take my pill before going home with the guy who bought the last round.

So all the celebs must be at the beach or lighting up their bar-b-ques this weekend, cause there is nothing going on. So here are a few pics of do-gooder Angelina Jolie looking suprisingly pastel at the Ocean’s 13 premiere at the Cannes Film Festival.

Brad Pitt must be good for her because Angie is looking great. She’s lost that freaky brother-kissing, nothing but black in her closet goth style and looks incredibly sexy. Of course having Brad on her arm doesn’t exactly hurt either. Sure Angie still looks like she could whip out a pocketknife and steal your wallet before you could ask for an autograph, but that’s kind of cool.

Angelina Jolie is at the Cannes Film Festival promoting her new film A Mighty Heart and she brought her best accessory with her to the premiere. That would be her ultra-sexy man Brad Pitt.

Here are the two of them looking disgustingly cuddly at the film’s premiere.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are out making the rest of us look bad again. Of course its all for a cause so it’s hard to get my panties in a bunch over it. The do-gooder Brangelina have reportedly donated $1 million to three aid organizations to benefit the people suffering the war torn region of Darfur in the Sudan. The lucky organizations who will be getting the big checks are the International Rescue Committee, the International NGO, SOS Children’s Villages and the UN Refugee Agency.

How coolk is it that Brad and Angie can just sit down to dinner and say “hey, we should donate a million dollars to refugees in Darfur. Pass the peas.” I want to be that rich. Not because I want to save refugees, I just want to have a million in my bank account.

Bad news ladies, Brad Pitt won’t be showing his rear in his new flick. Even though he’s flashed his posterior for his adoring fans before, the super sexy dad is refusing to drop his drawers for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and he’s requesting a butt double.

From The Sun:

Casting notices have been put out looking for suitable rears. Maybe Brad’s partner Angelina Jolie doesn’t want him stripping off for anyone else these days.”

How’s that for a line on a resume? I was Brad Pitt’s butt. Do you suppose Brad gets to sit in on the auditions? I mean choosing your fake ass is a big decision. Not too flabby, not too hairy. Maybe they should let Angie pick out his stunt butt. After all she should know what’s needs fixin’.

Pics of Brad and Angie looking way too tired to be eating out in Prague.

Angelina Jolie and brood have landed in Prague where she’ll shoot her next movie Wanted. But was Angie getting her party on before she left for Eurpoean locale? Angie was spotted at a party following her directorial debut at the Tribeca Film Festival getting freaky at a party at Hotel Gansevoort with Olivier Martinez

From US Magazine:

“She turned to him on the banquette and was shaking it in front of him. She was giving him a lap dance,” another reveler tells Us. “She was looking over her shoulder, tossing a glance his way.” As another partygoer describes it, “It was very, very flirty.”

See this is what happened when Brad had all those kids and let himself go. If he spent a little more time taking care of his appearance and paid more attention to Angie then she wouldn’t have turned to another man’s lap for a little fun.

What is going on with Angelina Jolie? I know she’s got (wait, let me count) 4 kids now and her mom just passed away, but good heavens, someone get this girl a cheeseburger, or a veggie burger, or a protein shake. I saw these pics and I seriously couldn’t believe my overly critical eyes. Angie is wasting away. She’s so skinny she’s making Nicole Richie look like the picture of good health. Angie, skip Africa this month and hit a spa with an all you can eat buffet.

Serial adopter Angelina Jolie is making Brad Pitt a daddy again. Angie is officially changing her newly adopted son Pax Thien’s name to Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt.

From TMZ:

Angelina Jolie has filed a petition in L.A. County Superior Court to change the name of her latest adopted child from Pax Thien Jolie to Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt.

In papers filed April 16 and obtained today by TMZ, Angelina — the sole adoptive parent of Pax — is requesting the change so it will reflect the last name of her partner, Brad Pitt, and so it is the same as that of her other three children.

This poor kid, he’s not going to have any idea what his name is. Every time he thinks he knows who he is, Angie goes and changes his name again. Someone get this kid a name tag.

Brad Pitt loves being an instant dad, but he may be ready to stop adding kidlets to the fam for a while. The whispers are that Angelina Jolie wants to keep plucking small children out of third world countries and tossing them in her carry-on bag, but Brad wants to wait before adopting another tax deduction.

From The Daily Express:

, “Brad couldn’t be more proud of Angelina and their family but he wants time to invest a little in what they have already.

“Angelina wants more but he has suggested they should wait a while - a couple of years maybe before adding to their family again.”

In other words, there are so many rugrats running around the Jolie-Pitt playroom that Brad can’t keep them straight, He wants to spend a little time learning their names so he can stop calling them “Oldest One” “Girl” “Baby” and “New Kid.”

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are rumord to be laying down a huge chunk of change on a custom Italian yacht. Because the 12 houses and 14 kids just aren’t enough…now they need a boat too?

From IHT:

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have reportedly commissioned a 280-foot-long Italian luxury yacht for $268 million. The yacht will have a swimming pool, a heliport, and a submarine, and is expected for delivery in 2009.

$268 million, people. That’s dollars, not pesos or lira or Monopoly money. That is just insane. I mean sunning yourself on the lido deck is cool and all, but why in the hell do you need a private submarine? And seriously, a swimming pool? On a yacht? Is it really that much trouble to jump overboard every now and then?

Rich people are crazy. If I had $268 million to blow I’d buy my own country and name it Shelly-topia and then I’d declare myself Empress and make male sex slavery legal.

Angelina Jolie’s brother James Haven is flapping his gums about his sis and her family. Not only does he gush about what a great relationship Angie has with sexy bed buddy and baby daddy Brad Pitt, he also claims that the do-gooders named their biological daughter Shiloh after him. Apparently his parents “almost” gave him Shiloh as a middle name. And my parents almost named me Shiloh too…when do I get adopted?

Speaking of which, rumors abound that Angie and Brad are shopping for a new baby to adopt in Chad. The story is that they want to have another African child in the family for Zahara. Because your kids have to match otherwise its a major fashion faux pas. But local officials in Chad recently denied that the Jolie-Pitts have filled out any adoption paperwork.

So there you have it. The world’s most perfect couple are in fact perfect. Now excuse me while I gag a little.

After a bit of a rocky start with new son, Pax Thien, Angelina Jolie is ready to take a break from her film career and be a stay-at-home mom.

From People.com

Angelina Jolie has apologized for exposing her new son, Pax Thien Jolie, to the media frenzy that greeted them in Vietnam - and has vowed to focus on her growing family and be a stay-at-home mom.

“I will stay at home to help Pax adjust to his new life,” Jolie told Friday’s Ho Chi Minh City Law newspaper, according to a translation on the Associated Press. “I have four children and caring for them is the most important thing for me at the moment. I am very proud and happy to be their mother.”

The newest Jolie kidlet was reportedly a bit overwhelmed by the whole adoption thing and spent most the Vietnamese adoption ceremony in tears. Angelina took some time to talk to him and was able to use her super-mom powers to calm him down. Or maybe she had learned how to say “really rich, X-Box in every room” in Vietnamese.

Angelina Jolie is a mommy again. Super-mom Angie took custody of the newest cutie to join the Jolie-Pitt clan, a three year old Vietnamese boy named Pax Thien Jolie. (And eventually Jolie-Pitt, I’m sure). Officials say it will be a week or so before Pax gets his US passport and Angie can bring the little guy home.

And while Brad couldn’t make the trip, first adopted child Maddox accompanied Angelina to Vietnam to pick up his brother.

You know I may not be rescuing little children from lives of poverty and lonliness, but when I drove my SUV to the Starbucks drive-thru and got my latte and fat-free muffin before stopping by the mall to buy some really cute wedge sandals, I dropped a quarter on the ground and I didn’t even get out of the car to pick it up. See I’m giving back.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt may be bringing their new son home within the next few weeks. Adoption officials in Ho Chi Minh city have said that they are procesing Jolie’s application quickly because of the age of the boy (he’s three and a half) and because his files were nearly complete before Jolie began the adoption process.

From MSN:

The child was abandoned at a Ho Chi Minh City hospital as a baby and then taken to the nearby Tam Binh orphanage, where he has lived ever since, said Nguyen Van Trung, the orphanage director.

The boy gets along well with other children and loves to play soccer, Trung said.

So the Jolie-Pitt mini United Nations is getting a new member. Now just our of curiosity, if Maddox and the new kid start fighting over who gets to go to the Golden Globes with Daddy, does that make it an international conflict? And is it technically a war if Zahara tosses a pancake at Shiloh’s head during breakfast? Hey, I’m not just a gossip whore, I like to be up on world politics too.

Angelina Jolie was allegedly the target in a kidnapping plot…nope not talking about a new Hollywood movie. The story is that while Angie was out doing good, some bad guys planned to nab her and hold her for ransom. Here’s what Angie said about the ordeal.

From News of the World:

“It was in a small village,” she says. “I won’t say where, or with whom, but some gangsters planned to kidnap me and extort a massive ransom. I was warned at the last minute, and managed to escape, luckily.”

Despite the kidnap threat, Angelina is hell-bent on continuing her work at orphanages and is determined to carry on her charity work overseas.

That’s just messed up. Not that I don’t admire the capitalistic instincts of the would-be kidnappers, but yanking Angelina while she’s out spreading sunshine and happiness is like rolling up on a bunch of Girl Scouts. Sure it looks like an easy way to score some cookies, but it’s just wrong.