Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt was set up to star alongside Edward Norton, Helen Mirren, and Jason Bateman in a movie called State of Play, but according to The Hollywood Reporter, he’s pulled out because of script concerns, which can’t be worked on because the writers are on strike. Hopefully this will force the studios to look up and realize that they’re losing more money on ruining this all star cast than they would if they’d just dole out more money to the writers. Amen!

It’s Friday and I’m in a good mood, so here’s some celebrity sponsored cuteness for you. Check out Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt out with Shiloh. It’s like the Waltons…if Ma had an Oscar, Pa was mouth wateringly hot and the kid all had trust funds and nannies. See, just like the Waltons.

Anyway, here’s Hollywood’s most glamorous family looking all normal and nice. No scandals, no drugs, no custody fights, no upskirts, no down shirts, no vomit, no handcuffs and no Britney Spears.

Brad Pitt is sad. Poor Brad. The hot humanitarian and insta-dad recently spoke with Parade Magazine about his occasionally gloomy side, the paparazzi and his charity work.

On doing good stuff:

“Whoever said all men are born equal never left his own backyard,” Pitt asserts. “I see people everywhere without opportunity. I want to help level the playing field.”

On whether Angie is responsible for his humanitarian work:

“That’s idiotic!” he replies. “I do it because I’m a member of the human race. In Africa you see people on the street dying from AIDS, children left without parents. We’re all cells of one body, with the same emotions and desires for our families–for a little dignity and a chance for a better life. Let’s focus on that! I believe in the founding principles of America. I want to fight for that. I know most Americans feel the same way.”

On celebrity:

“I understand the tabloid machine,” Pitt told the magazine. “There’s money to be made off Angie and me, but it has gotten out-of-hand. There’s no decency, even when it comes to our kids.”

“You start to see the fickleness of celebrity - that it isn’t rooted in something of real value,” he said. “There is this strange wanting by people to get next to you. It has nothing to do with you but with something they feel they are missing in themselves.”

On feeling sad:

“I always felt a pervasive sadness,” he said. “I’m not sure I earned it, because it was always there. It existed in the place where I grew up - in my family, in people who have true sweetness and true goodness. Maybe it’s a congenital sadness that everyone has to some degree.”

Wow, Brad Pitt is deep. Like big words, thick books, discussing poetry in coffee shops deep. I wonder if that’s going to be make our after-sex cuddling awkward when he starts talking about Africa and I’m trying to sleep.

Well, they may have a whole passel of kids running around, but Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are still obnoxiously sexy. Check out Angie rocking the clevage at the premiere of Brad’s new flick The Assassination of Jesse James. Wow! That’s one hot mommy.

And because I love me some Brad, I have to point out that he’s looking all kinds of yummy too.

Sexy humanitarian and Angelina Jolie’s best accessory Brad Pitt just won the Best Actor Award at the Venice Film Festival for his role in The Assassination of Jesse James…and he got booed! Apparently the artsy-fartsy types weren’t expecting Brad to scoop up whatever cheesy trophy they give out in Italy. And they were none too pleased that Brokeback Mountain director Ang Lee won for his flick Love, Caution.

From Reuters:

Reporters and critics in the press room, watching the closing ceremony beamed live on a big screen, booed when Lee’s Golden Lion was announced, and again, more loudly, when Hollywood star Brad Pitt was named best actor.

Hmmm…don’t care. If I was giving out an award I’d announce Brad Pitt as the winner every time too. I could be presenting the award for best actress in a midget porn category and I’d still say “Brad Pitt” just on the off chance that he’d give me that obligatory “thank you” kiss when he grabbed the statue.

Pics of Brad and that brunette he’s always with at the film fest.

Brad Pitt is not only sexy as the devil, but he’s a good ex-husband too. Or so he says. Brad told V Magazine that he and ex-wife Jennifer Aniston have a “deep friendship.” Uh-huh. Does Angelina know that? Does Jen?

From V Magazine:

“Jen and I still maintain a deep friendship and have a lot of life together that isn’t erased in any way.”

“The most important thing about that time was for Jen and me to figure out if - how do I put it? - if we didn’t want to go on without any outside influence. Is this where we got off? Have we taken this as far as we wanted to? Those questions had to be answered before an attraction for Angie could be answered.”

Ummm…yeah, I don’t think that’s the same conversation Jen had in her head while Brad was packing his clothes to go shack up with Angelina Jolie. I mean it’s cool that Brad is all well adjusted with the divorce and wants to be Jen’s friend, but he’s practicaly married to Angeina Jolie and has a whole gaggle of kids. Jen dated and dumped Vince Vaughn. Like they’re going to have anything to talk about over lattes. Except for that time when they were they were Hollywood’s golden couple…you know before he made that movie with Angelina Jolie.

Insta-dad Brad Pitt says he loves his passel of kids and is even up for grabbing another imported bundle of third world joy. Brad was at the Venice Film Festival and talking up fatherhood when he told an Italian reporter that he’s ready for another one.

From People:

“It’s the most fun I have ever had and also the biggest pain in the ass I have ever experienced,” he told reporters at the Venice Film Festival on Sunday. “(But) I love it and I can’t recommend it any more highly.” When asked by Italian state TV if he and partner Angelina Jolie were ready for a fifth child, Pitt replied: “Yeah, we’re ready.”

And all across the world little orphans are busy practicing their “take me home” smiles and puppy dog pouts. Hell, I’m practicing too. Brad, seriously, I’m up for adoption. I’m even potty trained…mostly. Hey, it was one time and I was laughing really hard.

Pics of Brad and Angie at the Venice Film Festival.

Brad Pitt should just run the world. Is there anything this man can’t do? Bumps britches with Angelina Jolie, adopts starving orphans, makes beautiful babies, rebuilds broken cities and now he even controls the paparazzi. Face it, the man is the sh**.

From TMZ:

A day after he told photographers in NYC to back off while snapping pics of him with his children — suggesting they use a telephoto lens — Pitt was swarmed while out with son Maddox. The paps (and many random passersby) took a few steps back when Pitt requested it, giving Brad and Mad their space as they ordered some hot dogs from a street vendor.

As they hopped into their waiting SUV next to the cart, a smiling Pitt told a few of the cameramen, “Much better with the kids, you guys are better!”

And then everyone built little Brad Pitt statues and left flowers and small children as offerings.

Old pics of Brad and the tots.

In case you’re worried,the world’s most beautiful do-gooders are still madly in love and happily not married. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are now so famous that even non-stories about the two of them are stories. Today’s useless bit of fluff…they’re happy. Yawn.

From People:

“There are no problems whatsoever,” the source adds. “Things are really good.”

In fact, those who know the couple best say their only problem at the moment is the rumors themselves: that Jolie is fighting with Pitt, suffers from an eating disorder and is feuding with Pitt’s parents, Bill and Jane.

Well of course we cling to those rumors. Perfect is not only boring, but it makes the rest of us feel bad. Hoping that Angelina occasionally tosses a frying pan at Brad’s head makes my licking the inside of the ice cream container a little less pathetic.

Forget Scientology, forget backroom Hollywood power brokers, forget political lobbyists…the real power in this country is in the hands of the people who send out those jury duty notices. Want proof…they even got Brad Pitt to show up on demand. Now that, my friend, is got you by the balls power.

From TMZ:

Brad arrived to court in a chauffeured SUV and was allowed to park in the employee lot. He’s wearing a white t-shirt, dark jeans and a cool black cap. Pitt brought a book with him — maybe it’s “First Wives Club.” He was ushered to a private room, where he waited until he went to the jury assembly room for orientation along with other would-be jurors.

You gotta love jury duty. It’s the only party where you can get your ass tossed in the clink for not showing up. Here’s Brad Pitt, a guy who can do pretty much anything and anyone he wants and even he can’t get out of it.

Looks like Angelina Jolie has gone all soft and squishy now that she’s hooked up with hunky Brad Pitt. Angie has reportedly given up lovin’ on the ladies and has taken the kink out of her kinkiness.

From The Sun:

The 32-year-old actress has admitted bedding women in the past — and using knives during sex.

“He has complete blind faith in me.”

You know, if I had Brad Pitt in my bedroom things would get more kinky, not less. There would be women, ropes, midgets, costumes you name it…anything to keep him from escaping out the window. Angie, get your priorities in line woman!

Apparently Life & Style Magazine has it in for Brangelina. Well, in all fairness, everyone who watches Hollywood is waiting for either the wedding of the century or a mega break-up with adopted kids being divided up like vacation homes. Face it people, it’s what we do. But L&S has run four cover stories in the past two months claiming that Brad and Angie are over. Now Brad Pitt’s spokesman is speaking out (which makes sense…since that’s his job).

The mouthpiece told US Magazine:

These magazines continue to write lies about our clients to sell magazines.

But does writing something amusing, if a little unfounded, about beautiful people because your own life is sad and lonely really count as lies?

Angelina Jolie is so skinny that even Brad Pitt is jumping on the “woman, eat something” comment board. Brad is reportedly worried about Angie’s frail frame and wants her to get some help.

From Star Magazine:

“Brad seems worried sick about Angie, and he doesn’t know what else he can do,” a friend of the couple tells Star.

“At this point, I think getting professional help might be the wisest way to go. He didn’t want it to come to this, but going to a rehab center for eating disorders may be the best thing for Angelina.”

Oh Brad, just run on down to Africa and pick up another a kid. That’ll perk her right up.

Oh here’s a rumor to keep tongues wagging and comments flying. Is the world’s superest super couple planning to tie the knot? It’s being whispered that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are planning to make their relationship legal with a Spring wedding in Italy.

The Bosh has the scoop on their reported $220 million prenup:

“They don’t want anything left to chance,” an insider told The ENQUIRER. “They are straightening out all their financial arrangements before the big day so they can kiss at the altar knowing they have taken care of every eventuality.”

“They’ve loved Italy ever since they spent time there while on a break from filming, and they’ve talked about a small wedding in Tuscany of near George Clooney’s mansion in the Lake Como region,” divulged the insider.”

A $220 million prenup? That’s like the merging of two small countries. Seriously, all Brangelina needs is a flag and a postage stamp. Hell, I’d move there. Do you get adopted as soon as you get your visa?

Angelina Jolie is not a happy mommy. The do-gooder star may like sharing her money and her time with those less fortunate, but she doesn’t want to share her mother-in-law. And she really doesn’t want to share Shiloh’s grandma with pseudo-hubby Brad Pitt’s ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston.

From The Post Chronicle:

A source told the New York Post newspaper recently: “Angelina really does not like Jennifer, even though Jennifer has not ever done anything to her and couldn’t care less about her. She doesn’t like that Brad’s mom is still close with Jennifer and is threatened by that.”

According to Life & Style, a Pitt family friend dishes that Angie called called Jane Pitt later on. “Angie is the mother of Jane’s grandchild and feels she deserves more respect,” a Pitt family insider tells the tabloid. “She told her, ‘If you continue to disrespect me and carry on like this, then you won’t see Shiloh.’”

And don’t think she’s exaggerating. Look at what Angie did to her daddy Jon Voight. Angie may feed the poor, but piss her off and she’ll cut you. Not literally, but verbally and publicly and then no one will ever speak to you again because Angelina rules Hollywood.

But I do think that right now Jennifer Aniston is playing with her Angie voodoo doll and doing a little boogie. She finally got to steal something from Angelina.

Brad Pitt and brood are back in Prague where Angelina Jolie is filming a new movie. And here is Brad being the world’s sexiets dad and he takes Pax and Zahara to the international kindergarten at the US Embasy. Zahara looks like the world is her amusement park. And when Brad Pitt’s your daddy, I don’t think she’s wrong.