Brandon Davis

According to Just Jared, this is a photograph of Miranda Kerr leaving a boutique in LA with “oil heir Brandon Davis” which makes me giggle because I just posted on how Davis was at the Frederic Fekkai salon with hair so greasy that the shampoo girl wore gloves. Oh, the irony. Anyway, this might be scandalous because Kerr is supposedly dating Orlando Bloom, who cheered her on backstage at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show last week. Apparently, once Kerr spotted the photographers she unwrapped herself from Davis and walked the other way. Gorgeous model, mate with gorgeous British guy with clean hair and have clean, gorgeous babies! Stay away from the oily, carrot juice loving ex of Mischa Barton. Ew!

Brandon Davis went for a much needed visit to the Frederic Fakkai salon this past weekend. Apparently no one told him that even though he would get a complimentary shampoo with his haircut that didn’t mean that he should prepare for the visit by not washing his hair for an entire month. Ew! According to Page Six:

“Even the shampoo person wore gloves,” said a source. “He [Davis] was really out of it, sweating profusely. His eyes were half shut and he was asking for carrot juice, even after they told him they only had orange juice.”

Oh, so maybe that’s the problem: he was washing his hair with carrot juice! Someone should really tell him that apple is the only way to get all that grease out. Or lemon.

Ok, there’s ugly, there’s nasty, there’s disgusting and then there’s so gross that not even your daddy’s billions can make you even remotely attractive. That last category of fugly is where you’ll find Brandon Davis. He’s lucky tie-dyed Greenpeace activists haven’t tried to roll him down the beach and back into the water.

If the sweat dripping from every pore on his body doesn’t thrill you, then maybe the ripples of fat will turn you on. That is if you can survive the stench of cigarettes and yesterday’s booze.

And I just can’t help but mention that the man who’s biggest claim to fame is a tirade against Lindsay Lohan’s nether regions, seems to have developed a “firecrotch” of his own. Dude, they make ointment for that kind of thing.