Britney Spears

OK! Magazine says, “These visitations with the boys will help to normalize the family environment,” Kaplan told OK!. “Kevin has always been rooting for Britney to regain visitation… and if these visits go well, they will ramp up over time.”
In fact, says the Britney insider, the rumor around the Spears house is that Sean Preston, 2, and 1-year-old Jayden James could soon be visiting up to three times a week.

Normalize? I am not sure that normalization is an option for anyone that has anything to do with Britney Spears. These kids will be lucky if they aren’t in juvenile hall by 11. There should be a Vegas bet on this. I would put my house up.

All the same, congrats on Britney visiting her kids and NOT wearing torn up fishnets. A+ for not looking like a two-bit hooker while visiting your kids and the entire nation is watching. Clearly, Britney is getting better, which isn’t so good for blogs like mine.

More Britney Spears non hooker looking pictures.

Um, if Ageprogression.org is correct in their assessment of Britney Spears, she would not be a good investment if you are the marrying type. This is what they say Britney will look like at age 46. And unless you like filth, she doesn’t look good. In fact, it appears that Age Progression has somehow forecasted that she will be hit by a bus at some point between now and age 46. A big bus. I would like to see this graph done on Jamie Lynn. Or Lindsay Lohan.

Courtesy of her dad, Jamie Spears.

OK! Magazine says, Britney’s father is not allowing her to drink alcohol, see her friends and insists that she prays in her pajamas every night. Jamie has also been encouraging his daughter to teach childrens’ classes at her favorite hangout, Millennium Dance Complex. 

Should Britney really be around children? I almost think she would be better suited to teach kids dance after a few mimosas. Just my opinion though. Maybe it would balance her out. And really, if he is going to start making her do things, how about having her NOT wear those nasty fishnets with the holes all throughout them?

Good idea? Ya, it is. I am full of good ideas.

Or so goes the new weird claims centered around the conservatorship.

TMZ says, Attorney John Eardley filed papers in federal court last Thursday, alleging the California courts have railroaded Britney by imposing a conservatorship. Eardley tells us Britney called him, but he would not disclose the circumstances surrounding the alleged call or what she said. We do know that Michael Sands, who used to be the spokesperson for K-daddy’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, is now the mouthpiece for Eardley. And Sands also reps Sam Lutfi, who is now restrained from all things Britney. 

And more crazy.

AP says, “Anyone who’s under a conservatorship can argue that they’ve lost their civil rights,” said Peter Tiersma, a law professor who teaches trusts and wills at Loyola Law School. “That’s what a conservatorship does, it takes away some of your rights.”
If the federal court were to take jurisdiction of the Spears case, said Tiersma, “that would mean that anyone under a conservatorship could do this, and that’s a loophole you could drive a truck through.”

Lost her civil rights? Like back of the bus stuff here? She is trouncing around Beverly Hills shopping, smoking and texting. Someone please take me captive. Daddy needs a new pair of shoes. I am beginning to think this is just a big act put on by the Media. I mean, this just can’t be real. Every day it’s something new, its more intriguing than new installments of Lost.

More Britney Spears pictures.

Fo’ real. The insane train rides again.

NY Daily News says, “Britney says her civil rights have been violated and she wants to talk to Arnold about it,” says a source with firsthand knowledge of the conversation.
“She wants the governor to look into why she can’t get an attorney,” according to my mole. “Sam was chewing on his dinner while he was saying all this into the phone.” 

I wouldn’t call Arnold to ask him directions to Malibu, much less to get me a crazy-out day pass. Man, this is desperation at it’s finest. Wasn’t she just out shopping with mommy spears yesterday afternoon on Melrose?

This whole Britney debacle is almost like The Amazing Race. Just a bunch of people trying to stake their claim. Funny enough, I see Britney as the least pathetic of them all.

Star Magazine says, A source tells Star, “When Britney got out of the hospital the first time, Adnan talked her into going to Mexico to get married, saying that was the only way he could protect her.” But Brit’s paparazzo boytoy forgot to mention that he was still married to second wife AzLynn Berry! Oops! 

Oh and….

“In all my years,” said an insider, “I’ve never seen as big a dirtbag as this guy. I can’t believe how he has taken advantage of this woman when she is in such a fragile state.” 

If marrying her were the path to sanity, KFED would have a lot to say about this. Now what? Is Adnan entitled to the estate? Or just her nagging about what time he gets home at night and who is texting him all day? I doubt you can win by marrying Britney.

Britney Spears, with the loving support of her dad, Jamie, is trying to dance away the blues that are her being locked up in a padded room.

OK! Magazine, says “Her focus and clarity are noticeable,” says one fortunate witness who had the chance to look on as Brit worked on her routine for her upcoming video. “Almost like the old Britney we’ve known and loved.”
Brit’s dad arrived at Millennium to watch his daughter rehearse before they headed back home together. “Before Jamie got there, she seemed to be getting anxious,” one witness tells OK!. “And then he arrived and her mood changed.”

According to court documents released Friday, Commissioner Goetz ordered Grossman to turn over “all documents, records ands assets relating to Britney Spears” to Jamie Spears and co-conservator Andrew Wallet.

I really didn’t even know that Britney was doing any business anymore. This business manager must be terrible. Was he booking her in Conoco bathrooms? If so, I guess I eat my words.

TMZ says, At one point Britney “picked up a bottle of pills and read part of the label and asked us, ‘What does insomnia mean?’ Sam told her that the pills will help her stay awake.” Lynne continues, “Sam told Jackie and me that he grinds up Britney’s pills, which were on the counter and included Risperdal (an anti-psychotic drug for schizophrenia and bipolarity) and Seroquel.” The docs continue, “He told us that the doctor who is treating her now is trying to get her into a sleep-induced coma so that they could then give her drugs to heal her brain.” 

I know, you thought it was going to be roofies. Instead the dude is trying to knock her out of her misery. I don’t know how I feel about this. I think I might try to drug her also. You know, like when you fly with a baby and you give them Tylenol PM. Or your dog is barking and you give them a bone to chew on. Or a prisoner gets out of hand so you shoot them with a gun in the head.

Lynne Spears isn’t happy. Maybe if she would have done some of these things to Britney when she was a kid, Sammy wouldn’t be Top Chefing Lithium while making omelette’s. Just a thought, of course.

You heard me, he now has a court ordered 22 day restraining order against him.

TMZ says, The judge in the hearing today has issued a restraining order against Sam Lutfi — ordering him to stay away from Britney Spears.

The judge found that Lutfi has been harassing Britney. Thus the civil harassment restraining order.

This will effectively bar Lutfi from going to the hospital.

The restraining order is in effect for 22 days, but court observer and uber-attorney Goldie Schon tells TMZ that Brit’s folks could turn it into a permanent order at the end of those 22 days.

Here is what’s really funny, most sane people wouldn’t need a judge to tell them not to hang out with Britney Spears. Listen, I don’t even hang out with people that use the words “like” or “bro,” much less if they come around speaking like a British person when they aren’t British. Sam, might be time to find some new pals. Kinda hard to go get Jerry’s Deli with someone that isn’t allowed to be around plastic butterknifes anymore.

TMZ says, In a heavy British accent, a ballistic Brit screamed (about her parents), “I’m so sick of all of this they can have the goddamn house and stick it up their f**king asses. Actually, no they can’t.”

Brit, who sounded drugged up, was furious that her dad became a conservator of her estate. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, at times impossible to understand. At one point she screamed, “Nobody’s taking my house. Who is my family?”

Britney said she did not want her parents near her home and at one point said she would go to court to fight them.

She is under the impression she’s getting out of the hospital tonight.

The Euro Britney Spears personality, you know, the one that arrived on a plane bringing America pop music, is not happy that her dad was given conservator of her estate. She apparently doesn’t enjoy white padded walls either. Or logic, rational and independence.

I wonder it the doctors there ever play games with her and tell her that Tiffany is in the next room and she is talking about her. haha. Not professional, but fun I am sure. Maybe they could tell her The New Kids on the Block are back together again? Wait, that is true. Screw it, tell her anyways.

TMZ says, We first reported that Britney accused her mother of sleeping with her boyfriend. Now we have more. We’re told Britney screamed, “The only reason she’s admitting me is because she wants to be alone with her boyfriend! She wants to sleep with my boyfriend!!” Britney never said exactly who she was talking about.
When Brit calmed down, she talked about her kids, how much she misses them and how it’s unfair that she doesn’t have them.

What’s worse? And yes, there is something that is actually worse in all this. The doctors say she isn’t able to provide food and shelter for herself therefore making her eligible for involuntary commitment.

Um. Wait a minute. Doesn’t she check into random hotels and eat at Gaucho Grill on a daily basis? WTF? Am I missing something? Britney may be crazy, but that girl sure doesn’t have a problem finding a bed or a taco.

You know, maybe her mom is banging her boyfriends. Really, would it be that unbelievable coming from the Spears?

Apparently Sam Lufti is now in charge. Which is odd since it seemed just yesterday that Lynne Spears was up in arms over him encouraging Britney to buy a car instead of going to get help. This time though it looks like Lufti skipped the sidetrip to Universal City Nissan and headed straight to the nutward. And furthemore, he is now in charge. Like really in charge.

TMZ says, We’re told her dad had gone ballistic back then, screaming and swearing at Lutfi — even pushing him — in front of Britney. As to what paperwork was signed, the cleanest thing would be if Britney signed a durable power of attorney, giving someone power to make medical decisions on her behalf in an emergency. We are told no such document was signed, but somehow Britney made it clear she wanted Lutfi to make those decisions.

Wow.

Ok, take a moment. Let it all sink in. Britney Spears just signed away her life. WTF?

E! Online says, Lutfi was said to be key in making it happen, even over the objections of the singer’s recently reunited mother, Lynne.
“The scene inside the house was chaos,” the insider continued. “Lynne was shouting at police. She didn’t want them to take Britney away at first. It was a zoo.”

This is a total disaster in wait. Ok, yeah, I get that its been a disaster for some time now, but this really seals the deal. She isn’t even in charge of her life anymore and the guy that is doesn’t get along with her more than half the time. White padded walls, wow.

And why not just commit Lynne while you are at it? She drives me crazy.

At least I can’t imagine it has anything else on its mind in this picture. Another day, another Britney Spears meltdown.

People says, Wearing brown high heels, cutoff shorts and a plaid fedora, Spears then seemed to downplay the incident, saying, “I’m fine. I’m . . . having a nice time with my dog.” (She later hopped into a car with another photographer, Filipe Teixeira, who gave her a lift to Ralph’s supermarket in Studio City, before bringing her home. He and another photographer pal were then invited inside, where they spent the remainder of the night.)

I particularly love how Adnan Ghalib comes to her rescue wearing a $900 tshirt with a matching jacket that cost God knows how much. Yeah Britney, he isn’t concerned about the fame, he just wants to help you and look good while doing so. Your world is fantastic and in logical order.

Here is more.

The family reunion didn’t last long, however – as Spears, clutching a bag, bolted from the mansion, says a source. She hopped into a car with Ghalib and the two sped off.
Their getaway hit a speed bump, however, when their car got a flat tire. (Spears is no stranger to vehicular malfunction.) The two pulled into a Chevron to pump air into the deflated tire, then returned to the Summit house – where mom Lynne, and the two photographers, still waited – at around 11 p.m. (Ghalib left soon afterward.)

Why can’t Britney get a car that doesn’t get flats or break down? I have an old car. It has never had a flat. Or even broken down for that matter.

More Britney Spears pics.

Outside the Millennium Studios. She shoves her chest out. I could think of worse things to watch. Like watching my dog lick his prostate. That would be worse. But not by much, at least watching nature is somewhat fulfilling. Plus it seems more artistic than Britney Spears dancing.

You be the judge.

And he supposedly wants 2 million.

News of the World says,

Clip 1:
Britney sitting on her bed wearing a nightie. She talks about herself in the third person and rambles about her childhood. She’s heard saying: “When Britney was a child, she had to work really hard. When she was 13 years old, she won all the beauty pageants.”

Clip 2:
Brit wrapped in a white bath towel, again perched on the edge of the bed. Talking to thin air, she mumbles: “Britney has an angel looking out for her, don’t you, angel?”

Clip 3:
Britney talking to Adnan, who’s holding the camera, and calling him by his pet name Bubba. She smiles: “I’m really happy. Bubba’s here for me now. It’s all good.”

Clip 6:
Britney crying hysterically after a night out. Mascara stains her cheeks as she wails: “Britney wants to live. I’m not crazy. I miss the kids and I did love Kevin.”

You will notice that clips 4 and 5 are missing. Adnan says he intends to hold on to those and shop them at a later date. Apparently all the tapes show Britney Spears essentially being crazy. Shocking, I totally can’t believe it. I really want to see this crazy ass b$%tch on Barbara Walters. I think she is really due for some kind of a historical interview. I mean, this really can’t last all that much longer, one has to think that a bottle of pills awaits as her fate.

They aren’t her kids. Man, this is the strangest Britney Spears story yet, which is saying a lot.

US Magazine says, “She was just rambling and confused,” says the witness, who approached Spears to ask if she was OK. “She said, ‘I’m here to pick up my kids.’ But then she changed her story and said, ‘They aren’t my kids; I have a new attorney, and I came to pick them up for her.’”

Check out what witnesses said.

“It became the talk of the school. Some of the kids were freaked out,” says a school source. She was directed to a more secure entrance around back.
But before getting into her car and driving off (without any children), she chatted up the female witness: “She said, ‘You’re so nice. You should give me your number. I don’t have very many friends.’”

You have friends Britney. Imaginary friends. Which are the best kind you know. I know sometimes they act all mean and stuff, but they are always with you. They are always there to tell you to go to a gas station bathroom, or bang a paparrazi so he can sell your story. Or get you banned from nightclubs.

I want Britney’s number. I bet she is incredible in bed. Crazy broads always are.

I can’t believe she is even allowed near Elementary Schools. I have a feeling the judge will take notice in at the February hearing!

And apparently has Attention Deficit Disorder.

OK! can also exclusively report that the remaining four hours of today’s deposition (Britney bailed after only two hours) will “most likely be split up into several smaller depositions between now and April 9″ because “she simply can’t sit still,” says a source close to the case.

God what a mess. You can’t sit still? What is she, 12? I am really not a fan of people that play the ADD card. I don’t like to sit in court either, but I do. I mean, if I have to. It isn’t like I am in court all the time. Or ever. I am a law abiding citizen.

Anyways, good to see that she brought the big guns to court, cause as you know, judges are often times sympathetic towards cold nipples.

I wonder how long it took security to search Britney Spear’s purse?

More Britney Spears deposition pictures.

Where to begin, where to begin?

Ok, I will start with the eurotrash, This is just bad stripper-wear. My god, she looks like a $2 hooker going to attend a bachelor party for some poor college kid that has to get married because he knocked up his girlfriend.

Now on to her Seacrest background babble.

People says, “Get out, I’m naked, get out!” Spears is heard telling pal Sam Lutfi as he carries the phone toward her during an interview from her house with KIIS-FM’s Ryan Seacrest.
When Lutfi asks why she’s taking a shower, Spears replies: “I stink, ’cause I’m a human being. Shut the door, I’m nasty!”

Well, at least she knows that she is nasty.

The interview continues with Lufty denying her being pregnant.

“I don’t know if they even bought one,” Lutfi said. “I think they were just [expletive] around.”
Lutfi said she doesn’t want to get pregnant. “No, no, no, no, no, no,” he said. “No, not at all.” Asked if she plans to marry Ghalib, Lutfi said: “No, that’s not true.”

I really think her reproducing again is a wonderful idea, it would really show that meanie judge.

“Hey Judge, you took my other rug rats away so I just got me another one! Take that!”

Yeah, good move Britney.

I think the dude in the Iron Maiden shirt really sums this whole debacle up. Look at his face, he just looks bewildered. You could actually crop this guy out and photoshop him in front of that scene in ET where ET landed, and it would be totally fitting and applicable. And now, to make things worse, she is apparently concocting plans to fake her death.

News of the World says, She’s been discussing all these wacky plans to reinvent her life and convince the courts she is a good mother. She has discussed in depth a fake death, moving abroad and even plastic surgery. It is scary to hear her romanticise about these insane plans.
“She believes she could spend six months away and make a comeback as Britney the world’s best mother.”

I have a hard time believing Britney is capable of figuring out how to get Ketchup out of a bottle, much less pull of an epic fake death stunt.

Britney Spears apparent attempts to transform herself into a British person have only served to continue to the process of her as a crazy a** ho.

I am not really sure how she will be able to go on living at this rate. I would say she is a likely suicide candidate, but I honestly question whether or not she would be able to pull it off. I have no doubt that she will make an attempt, but I am quite positive that it will just end in disaster and failure. Like, I could see her trying to slit her wrist with a Wendy’s straw. Something like that….