Courtney Love

Don’t go grabbing your crossbows and silver bullets, zombies are not on the loose in London. That’s just widow rocker Courtney Love looking like a reject from Night of the Living Dead. Yikes! Someone get this girl some tanning spray and different contacts before she frightens (more) small children.

From The Daily Mail:

The singer is a shadow of her former attractive self, and appears to be afflicted with a skin condition which has left her mouth looking sore and scabby. The widow of dead rocker Kurt Cobain arrived at the Groucho Club in London sans make-up unwittingly revealing her scabbed mouth and spotty skin.

But being greeted by a posse of photographers as she arrived in a rickshaw was enough to drive Love to cover up the unattractive blemishes on her mouth. And unsurprisingly, by the time she left, Love had applied a heavy-duty coating of make-up including a generous application of red lipstick.

Not to obsess on the undead thing, but tell me Courtney doesn’t look like a zombie version of Mary-Kate Olsen.

Courtney Love is getting her panties in a knot over rumors that she had gastric bypass surgery. The newly slim downed Love has spent most of her free time recently prancing around in a bikini to show off her shrinking bod. Courtney has responded to the surgery rumors on her website, moonwashedrose.com:

i couldnt get that suregry iof i begged for it
FDA says you have to have a BMI of above 40 and that equals at least being 100 pounds overweight at least other wsie its ILLEGAL.
I know spmeone who troed to get that shit and no dr would give it to her an dhse was pudgier than i was, its total utter shite, i lost weightthe hard way and people cant accept it,whwnever ANYONE loses weight by determintaion and grit fast its suspect i got muyinspirationf rom Oprah losing so much weight on Slim Fast,. thats how i did it, thio sis nonsesne my breath is great and i dont “vomit inot a towel” it sjust cynical crazy bullshit…

Someone get this girl off the beach and into a typing class. Is she losing brain cells on her diet? Just trying to translate that jibberish made my eyes hurt. I guess that’s what happens when you try to type with a cigarette in one hand and a shot in the other.

Courtney Love is showing off her skrinking bod on the beach. And I wish she’d stop. I’m all for girls being loud and proud when they drop some weight, but Courtney is looking less like a Slim-Fast after picture and more like a drug addict who’s two days away from the morgue.

Courtney’s rep told US Weekly that her weight loss is the result of yoga and a macrobiotic diet. Is heroin macrobiotic? Cause that so beats The South Beach Diet and I bet you can eat bread if you want.

Here’s one that will make you want to blind your mind’s eye. Bruce Willis is reportedly getting it on with Courtney Love. The oh-that-is-so-wrong couple was spotted playing tonsil hockey in Hollywood.

From The New York Daily News:

The unlikely couple were spotted in flagrante canoodle March 19 at the Roxy nightclub on Sunset Blvd. “They were full-on making out,” laughs a witness.

The venue was packed for a 9 p.m. performance by boozy Brit rocker Amy Winehouse.

How’s that for playing Russian Roulette with your penis? Making out with Courtney Love is more dangerous than waltzing with the bad guys in Die Hard 17.

Courtney Love is being sued by a rehab facility for failing to pay her bill. The perpetually messed up Love reportedly spent three months at the luxe Beau Monde rehab center back in 2005 and then never settled up her nearly $200,000 tab.

From TMZ:

“Rocker Courtney Love is being sued by a posh rehab facility for allegedly not paying an ultra-expensive bill stemming from her three-month stay back in 2005.

The lawsuit, which first appeared on TheSmokingGun.com, accuses Love of owing Beau Monde International $181,286. According to court papers, Love stayed at their Orange County facility, Beau Monde’s Recovery Retreat, from August 25, 2005 through November 18, 2005. The suit claims that Love paid $10,000 a week after entering, but that was all they ever received.”

See, that’s why I refuse to quit drinking. Sobriety is just too damn expensive.

Courtney Love may have inadvertantly doomed the next season of The Simple Life when she posted some not quite legal details of Paris Hilton’s 26th birthday party on her website. Courtney described “a big pile of white powder” available at the party and that doesn’t sit well with the camp that was ready to put Paris and Nicole in charge of their happy campers.

From The New York Daily News:

Now the head of the Foundation for Jewish Camping is skeptical about Paris and Nicole Richie’s stint as camp counselors on the next season of “The Simple Life.” “Counselors are trained, recruited, and tested,” said Jerry Silverman. “We take [it] very seriously.”

So I guess he didn’t mind the sex tapes, the DUI’s (by both girls) or the possibility of both Paris and Nicole going to jail. Perhaps they were planning to add posing for crotch shots and making shanks to their arts and crafts program. On a side note, who would have guessed that Courtney Love would someday save a bunch of kids from a lifetime of therapy?

Pics from Paris’ birthday bash

Alas, a story posted here yesterday has turned out to be false. Courtney Love was not approached to replace Paula Abdul as a judge on American Idol. I hang my head in blogger shame. But you have to admit…it was fun to picture Courtney Love sitting next to Simon Cowell.

American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe said:

“I did not call Courtney Love and am afraid someone may have misrepresented me. Courtney Love is a very talented artist, but the judges for American Idol are Paula, Randy and Simon. We have no plans to add to or replace any of them.” So who made that mysterious phone call? A source close to Love says, “It was probably a prank.” A rep for Love adds, “There’s no truth to it whatsoever.”

I should have known better when Courtney was the one spreading the story in the first place. Bad blogger, bad, bad girl. In fairness, Courtney probably did think she had been offered the job. Little did she realize that the phone call was really just the exterminator trying to set a time to come disinfect her bedroom.

Courtney Love wants to be an American Idol judge. And if that doesn’t scare the contestants right off the stage nothing will. US Weekly is reporting that Courtney Love has been approached to replace Paula Abdul at the judges table.

From USmagazine:

“He called,” Love tells Usmagazine.com. “He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant.” But a source tells Usmagazine.com that Lythgoe was considering having Love “replace Paula.”

At least when Paula Abdul acts like a nutcase, you know she’s harmless. Like a doped up puppy. But Courtney Love is a different kind of crazy. She’ll probably jump on stage and start painting zodiac signs on the contestants faces with lipstick. And those will be the ones she likes.

Courtney Love wants to make up with Madonna. Excuse me? Did I miss a memo? I didn’t realize that Madonna and Courtney were playing Hatfields and McCoys. Sure I remember Courtney Love crashing Madonna’s MTV interview all those years ago (classic tv that everyone should be required to watch). But a feud? Hardly.

The Hollywood Rag reports:

Courtney Love revealed she is desperate to resolve her long-running feud with Madonna - but isn’t willing to make the first move.

She said: “I want Russell to go up to her and mediate. Is no one going to make the peace between Madonna and me?”

Courtney, if there really is a feud and if you really want to make peace, suck it up and go apologize for whatever stupid thing you said or did while you were wasted. I’m sure there’s some Kabbalah rule that she has to forgive you.

Or maybe she’ll bitch slap you instead…then we’d have a feud!