Howard K. Stern

Larry Birkhead. The highlighted photographer who has said from the start that his sperm swam the fastest has been vindicated. DNA results on Anna Nicole Smith’s baby daughter Dannielynn have shown that Larry and not Howard K. Stern is the baby’s daddy.

From TMZ:

An emotional Larry Birkhead thanked the crowd after Dr. Michael Baird released the DNA results to the judge. The probability of paternity is 99.9999%. Baird said, “essentially he is the biological father.”

Stern said he’d like the transition to be “gradual” so the baby can adjust.

And so Howie can adjust to the idea of being poor. Say bye-bye, baby.

So tomorrow is the big day. We have been promised DNA results on Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter Dannielynn. So the great who’s the daddy mystery will finally be solved. And one of the possible sperm donors is already putting on his good loser face. Howard K. Stern prepping the media for the not-so-shocking revelation that he ain’t the daddy.

From TMZ:

“If Larry Birkhead is confirmed to be Dannielynn’s biological father, Howard will not challenge custody. His love for her will not change, irrespective of the results. Howard will act in Dannielynn’s best interest, because he loves her and would want a smooth transition to protect her, as she is deeply bonded to those who have been with her since birth.

While Howard continues to believe and hope that he is Dannielynn’s biological father, he wants to be involved in her life, regardless of paternity. He wants to share the memories of her mother as the person who knew Anna best and all she wanted for Dannielynn.

So I’m guessing Howie is spending tonight trying to figure out how he can ask his not quite legal daughter for an allowance. I’m sure its what Anna would have wanted.

If Howard K. Stern isn’t guilty of killing someone, he’s doing his best to make it look like he did. The world’s worst lawyer has managed to halt the inquest into Daniel Smith’s death. Howie, if you didn’t do it, why are you stopping it?

From TMZ:

Howard K. Stern has temporarily derailed the inquest into Daniel Smith’s death. The judge in the case has put the inquest on ice for at least two weeks.

Stern’s lawyer argued the law allowing the inquest was flawed, because it was impossible to impanel a fair and impartial jury given the massive publicity surrounding the deaths of Anna Nicole and her son.

Is Howard really so desperate for his 15 minutes of fame that he’s willing to make himself look like a murderer? Because the only reason to stop an inquest is if you did it and you don’t want people to find out. So add this to Howard’s attempt to stop the paternity test on Dannielynn and you have the makings for a super-villian.

Howard K. Stern, Anna Nicole Smith’s companion/lawyer/possible (but highly unlikely) baby daddy is trying to postpone the big reveal. Howie just filed an appeal to delay the DNA test on baby Dannielynn.

From TMZ:

Howard K. Stern has filed an appeal in his ongoing paternity battle over Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter, Dannielynn, this according to “Entertainment Tonight.”

Last week, Stern followed court orders and drove Dannielynn to a lab for a DNA swab. Larry Birkhead also gave a sample.

So the spit has already been collected, the test is either done or will be done soon and Howie just doesn’t want anyone to know the results. Dude, get over it. Stall all you want, the results won’t change. You’re either the daddy or you ain’t. And we all know you ain’t, so suck it up and pack the baby’s bags.

Now that Anna Nicole Smith has finally been laid to rest, the legal drama can get really nasty. The paternity and custody disputes over baby Dannielynn are are going to make the battle for Anna’s body look like a disagreement over dessert. And what’s at the heart of the matter…the baby or how much money she might inherit?

TMZ is reporting that Howard K. Stern has already tried to work some money negotiations with his baby competitor Larry Birkhead:

Debra Opri says the only subject of negotiation is “how fast he [Stern] will produce the child for a DNA test and how quickly he will allow that child to go to California with her real father.”

As TMZ has been reporting, Stern has been asking Birkhead for some involvement in Dannielynn’s financial affairs after paternity is established. Now Opri says, “There were never any deals. It was a one-sided discussion.”

What a stupid thing to ask. If Larry is the daddy (and I’m putting my money on him) then of course he’ll have to support her. But if he isn’t, why would he cough up any cash to help Howard? Sounds to me like poor Mr. Stern is looking for a new sugarmama. Granted Larry has the highlights for it, but I don’t think he swings that way.