Madonna

While children’s rights groups may criticize Madonna for her controversial adoption of baby David from Malawi, Madonna has some serious power in her corner. And I don’t just mean the red string bracelet kind. Media deity Oprah Winfrey has come out in support of Madonna’s adoption of little David.

From Page Six:

MADONNA gets nothing but praise from Oprah Winfrey for her controversial adoption of a Malawian baby. “I applaud Madonna,” the talk-show queen gushed to “BBC Newsnight” yesterday. “I think it is an amazing decision . . . Madonna and her husband and children had to make a decision that we are going to bring a child from a different culture, and not just a different culture from our family, he even looks different from our family. He’s not even the same color . . . It makes me sick that people criticize her, because there are millions of children in this world who will die because no one came to save them.”

Well, that should do it. Oprah sayeth it is good, so it is good.

Courtney Love wants to make up with Madonna. Excuse me? Did I miss a memo? I didn’t realize that Madonna and Courtney were playing Hatfields and McCoys. Sure I remember Courtney Love crashing Madonna’s MTV interview all those years ago (classic tv that everyone should be required to watch). But a feud? Hardly.

The Hollywood Rag reports:

Courtney Love revealed she is desperate to resolve her long-running feud with Madonna - but isn’t willing to make the first move.

She said: “I want Russell to go up to her and mediate. Is no one going to make the peace between Madonna and me?”

Courtney, if there really is a feud and if you really want to make peace, suck it up and go apologize for whatever stupid thing you said or did while you were wasted. I’m sure there’s some Kabbalah rule that she has to forgive you.

Or maybe she’ll bitch slap you instead…then we’d have a feud!

Has the media blitz and public scrutiny surrounding Madonna’s adoption of baby David put a strain on her marriage?

MSNBC.com reports:

“She drove the whole adoption process on from start to finish and Guy was left trailing in her slipstream just nodding and going along with things,” a source told the U.K. publication, The People. “Guy doesn’t want to go through all the media attention again which he hates. Although he loves little David [Banda, the African boy the couple adopted] as his own, he thinks they should be both concentrating on their own relationship at this time, not adding a new one.”

It’s doesn’t take a great deal of mental gymnastics for me to picture Guy Ritchie left in the dust as Madonna plows full steam ahead on her latest project. That woman is so busy she makes the Energizer bunny look like a slacker. With Madonna, you keep up or get out of the way.

So if Guy is looking for some quality time with the Mrs. he may need to buy a concert ticket.

Madonna’s fight to keep her adopted son is a long way from over. The Material Mom is going to have her parenting skills evaluated by a host of human right groups who will then decide if she can keep little David.

Fox News reports:

Judge Andrew Nyirenda ruled in favor of a coalition of 67 Malawian human rights and child advocacy groups who want to be party to the assessment of the pop singer’s fitness as a mother and to review Malawi’s adoption procedures.

“I believe the applicants mean well and this court will certainly benefit from the applicants researched opinions,” he said in his ruling.

Sure the quickie adoption made me raise an eyebrow as well, but what exactly are these “human rights” groups proposing? Are they seriously considering sending this little boy back to Malawi because Madonna got to hurry thngs along? Opps, sorry, Madonna used her money to get you out Africa too soon, so we’re going to take you away from a life of privilege and opportunity and send you back to an impoverished orphanage.

Uhh, what exactly is their definition of “the best interests of children?” Sure David will have to spend hs fair share of time in therapy with Lourdes and Rocco once he sees his mother’s THS or finds her Sex book. But, come on, I should be in therapy and my mother never wore a cone bra or french kissed Britney Spears (that I know of).

Only two days after her controversial Confessions tour was broadcast, the original woman of many faces, Madonna will be on television again. This time on the Home Shopping Network. Madonna will be selling her English Roses children’s books.

“Launching The English Roses book series and my new title, The English Roses: Too Good to Be True, through this broadcast is a great chance to reach millions of homes,” the singer said in a statement.

“HSN is thrilled to be partnering with Madonna to support Raising Malawi through the offering of her latest children’s book, The English Roses: Too Good To Be True,” Bill Brand, HSN’s senior vice president of programming, said in a statement. “These books are terrific holiday gifts that give back by supporting a worthwhile cause.”

Ok, aside from the fact that it is just weird to see celebrities on HSN informercials, this is a woman who is crucified nightly in her concert. And for those of use who grew up watching Madonna and remember her more for her special talents with Evian water bottles and her Sex book, the idea of Madonna writing children’s books is just a little hard to swallow…no pun intended.

A letter written by one of the members of the British charity that funds the African orphanage where Madonna found her new black baby, has made public. Said letter says:

"We have been very disturbed that the Home of Hope appears to have been described as a place where children are not cared for properly. We must stress that no money has come to the Home as a result of this adoption, and the financial resources at the Home are very limited. We are desperately worried that people will cease donating as a result of Madonna’s comments, and that this will make a difference between life and death for some of the most vulnerable children at the Home."

Obviously, the author of the letter is afraid that Madonna’s comments regarding the state of the orphanage will lead to fewer donations… My question is: why instead of bitching about what Madonna has said, don’t they give these poor kids better living conditions with the money they have actually gotten as donations?

According to MSNBC, Madonna is quite confused… She partakes in the activities of a Kabbalah Center, where she studies Jewish mysticism and celebrates Jewish holidays, but she has assured the BBC that she believes in Christ. What the heck?

Saying that her adopted son, David, can be Christian and follow Kabbalah as well, Madonna told the BBC, "I believe in Jesus and I study Kabbalah, so I don’t see why he can’t too."

But Kabbalah watcher Rick Ross says that the group’s leaders are wrong if they tell people that they can have it both ways. "It’s historically and practically impossible for a person to be two religions simultaneously," Rick Ross of Cultnews.com tells The Scoop. "But perhaps Madonna thinks that along with her many other accomplishments, this is possible."

Madonna is trying to protect her newly adopted African baby, David Banda, from not-too-friendly stares, by wrapping a piece of red string around his wrist.

According to Kabbalah literature, the string fends off "the unfriendly stare and unkind glances we sometimes get from people around us."

I don’t think that any glances sent towards her are directed to the kid, but to Madonna herself, so she should try wrapping herself in a few miles of the string. It may help.

I think Madonna is competing with Anna Nicole Smith to see who creates more controversy. Nevertheless, I think Anna Nicole has the advantage here; after all Madonna has yet to get engaged while one of her kids lays on the morgue. For that matter, none of her kids has ever laid on a morgue (that we know of).

Now, the father of her almost-adopted kid, Yohane Banda, has said that he indeed wants Madonna to adopt little David and is actually scared she may get pissed off because of his previous comments.

"I am afraid Madonna may get angry and frustrated and decide to dump my son because of these people. These so-called human rights activists are harassing me every day, threatening me that I am not aware of what I am doing. I’m afraid David may be sent back and the orphanage may not even accept him back. So where will he end up? Here? He will certainly die."

Regarding his previous statements:

"I was telling these rights groups that I wasn’t selling my son. I said I wouldn’t (…) sell my son for anything but I had agreed with Madonna before a judge so my comments were taken out of context and I hope Madonna is not angry."

Madonna has agreed to take her adopted son back to Malawi for regular visits.

Madonna who has been granted temporary foster care of 13 month old David Banda with a view to adopt him has promised to take him back to his homeland every four years. David’s father Yohande Banda told UK news channel “We made an agreement in court for David to lead a better life, I was happy with that. Every three or four years they will bring him to visit. I’m delighted he’s been welcomed into that family.”

Baby’s David’s father also urged Madonna not to be put off by the controversy surrounding the adoption or the red tape involved in legalizing her guardianship. A Malawian court is expected to rule on appeals by 67 human rights groups who claim the adoption was illegal. Desmond Kaunda, director of the Malawi Human Rights Resource Centre, said: “We are not against the adoption because it is a right, but our main concern is what extent was Madonna a resident in Malawi to actually qualify for that kind of an order.”

Madonna has revealed she thinks her adopted son’s father Yohane Banda was manipulated into saying he never wanted his son David to leave Malawi.

Madonna who is fighting for permanent custody of the one year old Malawian orphan and opened her heart during an interview with US chat show host Oprah Winfrey on Tuesday.

Madonna’s comments come after David’s 32 year old father Yohane, who had originally welcomed the adoption said “Nobody told me that adoption means David will no longer be my son but hers.”

Despite this, he told Time magazine on Tuesday that he does not plan to challenge the adoption, because that would be “killing David’s future”.

Madonna’s adoption delayed.

A judge postponed a hearing Friday on a lawsuit by human rights groups challenging the Malawi government’s decision to let Madonna begin the adoption process for a motherless 13-month-old boy

Judge Andrew Nyirenda delayed the hearing until next Friday to give Attorney General Jane Ansah time to consult with the Ministry of Gender, Child Welfare and Community Services.

We are ready for the case but the attorney general wants to consult with the Ministry of Gender on the whole adoption process,” said Alan Chinula, a lawyer representing Madonna.

Madonna has posted on her website an open letter trying to clear her name of the accusations of going around the system to get her new baby’s adoption sped up. The letter reads:

My husband and I began the adoption process many months prior to our trip to Malawi. I did not wish to disclose my intentions to the world prior to the adoption happening as this is a private family matter.

After learning that there were over one million orphans in Malawi, it was my wish to open up our home and help one child escape an extreme life of hardship, poverty and in many cases death, as well as expand our family.

Nevertheless, we have gone about the adoption procedure according to the law like anyone else who adopts a child. Reports to the contrary are totally inaccurate. The procedure includes an 18-month evaluation period after which time we hope to make this adoption permanent.

This was not a decision or commitment that my family or I take lightly.

I am overwhelmed and inspired by my trip to Malawi and hope that it helps bring attention to how much more the world needs to do to help the children of Africa.

My heartfelt thanks for all the good wishes I have received and I hope the press will allow my family some room for us to experience the joy we feel to have David home.

Madonna Ritchie
October 17, 2006
London, England

Who cares about what she has to say? She did bend the rules, and if I had her money, I would do the same… plus that little kid is so freaking cute and huggable and squeezable that she simply can’t be blamed for doing so.

As more controversy arouses regarding Madonna’s supersonic adoption of her new African baby, with attorneys and spokepersons for legal organizations in Malawi raising holly hell, the baby in question has arrived in England, where he has reunited with his "mom". The Sun newspaper reports:

"As Madonna’s team swooped, documents were being filed demanding that a judge review her claims to the child. Justin Dzonzi, a lawyer for a group of charities opposing the adoption, said the procedure had been fast-tracked. He claimed the superstar had broken rules by not spending 18 months in Malawi before being granted custody. Boniface Mandere, of the child protection group Eye of the Child, said: "The court seems to have made a decision based on Madonna’s wealth." "

Madonna is officially adopting her new African baby. A senior court official announced that Madonna will be put on some sort of probation to see how things go with the kid, which will end with a hearing to determine if she is fit to be his adoptive mother.

"This also means that she has been put on observer status to see how she will relate to the child, and people from social welfare will have to observe that. The court will depend upon their observations to make a final decision," the official said.

Poor Madonna! This means that she won’t be able to show her boobs, kiss Britney in public or have sex with other than her husband. What do you guys think, can she survive?

Following the current trend of adopting African babies, Madonna has gotten herself a one year old baby from Malawi (wherever that is).

"She asked us to identify boys only, which we have done after visiting four orphanages in Lilongwe," government spokeswoman Adrina Michiela said. Michiela said Madonna had wanted to adopt a girl but changed her mind two weeks ago.

Madonna must be happy now: she’s almost done completing the rainbow: she’s got a Latin daughter, a caucasian one and now a black son.

The Guinness Book of Records has named Madonna as the highest paid female singer on the planet. After earning $50 million in 2004, the material girl has taken the title from Britney Spears, who held it for 3 years straight, after making more than $38 million in 2001.

It seems like Britney is losing her crown all around, being replaced by Janet Jackson as the most searched-for female in the whole world wide web.

It beats me why somebody would want to search for Janet Jackson, unless they want to find out what her weight loss secrets are.

Here is one that I think you should get straight from the source. TMZ reports that:

Madonna has finally spoken out about the controversial mock-crucifixion scene in her "Confessions" world tour, and she thinks that if Jesus were a global pop icon he would hang himself from a big, lighted cross on stage as well.

As NBC vacillates over whether it should air the provocative portion of Madge’s show in its broadcast special in November, Madonna decided to respond to all the criticism, saying in a statement that putting herself up on the cross "is no different than a person wearing a cross or ‘taking up the cross’ as it says in the Bible … it is my plea to the audience to encourage mankind to help one another." And then: "I believe in my heart that if Jesus were alive he would be doing the same thing."

Whatever Jesus might do, Madonna is certainly raking it in: The "Confessions" tour has brought in $193.7 million from its 60 shows, making it the highest-grossing tour ever by a female artist, surpassing the $192.5 million Cher made over 273 shows during her nearly three-year "Farewell" tour of 2002-2005.

The Sun reports today:

"Guy Ritchie has begged Madonna to tighten security after threats from Russian gangsters to kidnap her and their two kids. The Queen Of Pop is being targeted by ruthless heavies who don’t want her controversial Confessions Tour to go ahead in Moscow next month. A series of sinister warnings that Madge, son Rocco and daughter Lourdes could be snatched have been sent direct to her management in a bid to stop her performing. But Madge is determined not to let a security scare get the better of her — despite hubby Guy and her tour manager Chris Lamb’s grave concerns. A source said: "Madonna is well aware of the kidnap threats but she is brave and even a little nonchalant when it comes to her own safety."

There is one of two reasons for this:

1- Russian mobsters are total retards and warn people before kidnapping them, so that they can be prepared (how nice of them, aren’t those Ruskies adorable?)

2- Mr. Ritchie is sick of Madonna and after professing his love for her insisting in getting married again, he will have her kidnapped and killed, that way he inherits all the money. What better way to keep suspicion away from him than by having someone threaten Madonna prior to it happening?