Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden launched their very own free family clinic in Los Angeles yesterday called the Richie-Madden Children’s Foundation. At the launch, the soon-to-be parents hosted a gigantic baby shower for over 100 pregnant women, and gave out over $200k worth of gifts. According to People, Madden said:

“We grew up in Los Angeles and we want our child to be a part of the community, and to know that there’s a responsibility to help the community.”

The couple expect their baby to arrive around the beginning of the New Year.

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie got together for lunch upon Paris’s return from China in Beverly Hills. After lunch, they headed to an office building in Los Angeles for a meeting. Isn’t it funny how after all of these really terrible photos of Britney and Lindsay, Nicole and Paris actually look like ladies? Oh, how the mighty have fallen!

Nicole Richie spent Thanksgiving Day serving food to homeless people in Hollywood. Apparently, Richie was worried that being around so many people wearing unfashionable clothing would blind her, so she and the entire rest of her soup kitchen entourage chose to wear sunglasses. Nice thing to do none the less.

Baby maker Nicole Richie is learning all about how her intoxicated driving could have killed someone. Nic has been on her best behavior since her grueling hour in jail and has recently signed up for her court ordered don’t drink and drive course.

From People:

Papers filed with the Superior Court of California show that on Sept. 26 Richie signed up for a 18-month anti-drinking driver course, known as the SB 38 Alcohol Program. The program consists of 52 hours of group counseling, bi-weekly face-to-face interviews and 12 hours of alcohol education, according to the council. Participants are also encouraged to attend 12-step meetings.

This July 27, Richie was sentenced to four days in jail, fined $2,048 - and forced to sign up for the driving rehab course because she was previously convicted of DUI in June 2003.

Toss in a few healthy eating classes, a class on how to write a pre-nup and a seminar on remembering where you put the baby and Nic will be good to go.

Hey, look at that baby belly. I guess Nicole Richie really is pregnant. And apparently ready to get a tan on that baby baker of hers.

So here are pics of Nicole and her fiance/sperm donor Joel Madden in Hawaii. And judging by his too cool for swim trunks attire, I don’t think Joel is quite up to speed on the newest fashions in men’s beach wear.

So while Nicole Richie spent 82 minutes in jail for her wrong way on the highway misadventure, her fellow ex-con Paris Hilton spent time shopping for baby gifts for the incarcerated mommy. Isn’t that sweet?

From People:

Hilton was an equal-opportunity shopper, choosing gifts in both pink and blue. Among the items she bought was a Tuni & G Baby set (pants and T-shirt) with the text “Don’t Ya Wish Your Mommy Was Hot Like Mine” with the pants bottom saying “Don’t Ya.” She also bought Baby�s First Fashion Words book, a Baby Jar Baby Snuggler Blanket and Trumpette socks. �She can’t wait to hang out with the baby,� says the source about Hilton. �She’s happy Nicole is healthy and thinks she looks great.�

“Hang out with the baby”? Who talks like that? Does Paris understand that hanging out with a baby involves changing diapers and dodging spit up? There’s no booster seat in the VIP section of Hyde and no sippy cups filled with mojitos.

Check this out, Nicole Richie got all sneaky with her jail time. The preggers jail bird snuck into the Lynnwood Jail and did her time while the rest of us were waiting to see what happened with fellow bad driver Lindsay Lohan. And the girl spent more time talking to Diane Sawyer than she did in lock-up.

The LA County Sheriff’s Department Statement (from TMZ):

On August 23 2007, at 3:15 PM Miss Nicole Camille Richie reported to CRDF and surrendered herself following a July 27 arrest, she was sentenced to serve 96 hours in County Jail. Miss Richie was accompanied by her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley and her boyfriend Joel Madden. Miss Richie was booked and processed into the jail system. Miss Richie was cooperative during the process. Based on her sentence and federal court guidelines, Miss Richie was released at 4:37 PM today.

The total time Nic served…82 minutes. And justice is served. I freaking hate LA.

Nicole Richie and baby daddy Joel Madden may be planning to walk down the aisle, but sources say that Nic may be planning to postpone the big day until after the birth of their baby.

From E! Online:

The Simple Life star, five months pregnant with her first child, is telling close friends that she and Joel Madden have decided to wait until after the birth to get hitched, E! Online has learned exclusively.

“She said she doesn’t want the baby to one day grow up and think she and Joel rushed to get married just because she got pregnant,” reveals a source close to the celebutante.

No, the kid is going to wonder if mom and dad got knocked up to keep mommy out of jail. Seriously, of all the issues this fetus is bound to face in life, do we really think having married parents is going to be the one that sends him/her over the edge?

Looks like Nicole Richie’s little bastard may not be a bastard after all. Was that harsh? Hey, its a Saturday and I’m working and its all for your amusement. Anyway, rumor has it that Nic’s baby-daddy Joel Madden finally popped the question. Of course the question he should have asked was “are you on the pill” about four months ago.

From TMZ:

Sources who attended the Hot 99.5 concert last night featuring Good Charlotte at the Clarendon Ballroom tell us Joel told the crowd he had just proposed to his jail-bound baby mama on Thursday.

So that means we can expect Nicole to register for wedding gifts, baby gifts and going to jail care packages. Does Barney’s even have a jail registry?

Guess who wears the skinny pants in this dysfunctional couple. Apparently when Joel Madden planted his sperm in Nicole Richie he left his manhood there as well. The tattooed baby-daddy just said no to posing with pretty girls because Nic told him to keep his smiles to himself. Wow, Nic must have Exorcist frightening hormones for Joel to embrace his whipped-ness so completely.

From The New York Post:

Wednesday night, Madden went to celebrate the first anniversary of the Village Pourhouse on Third Avenue, and all was well until a party promoter wanted to take a picture of him with a cute young woman. Our spy reports, “He said he couldn’t, as Nicole gave him strict orders not to take pictures with other celebrities or girls for rumor purposes.”

You know, its not the fear of rumors that made Nic give the “no pics order.” She’s just afraid Joel will put his arm around a pretty size 4 and might start to like the feel of more than collarbones and ribs poking him in the side.

Damn, she really is preggers. Not that I doubted it, but check out Nicole Richie rocking a baby bump and some suddenly bigger other bumps. Looks like Nicole’s itty-bitties got a visit from the titty-fairy. And I have to say, the added baby weight looks good on her. And I’m not just talking about the boobs, you guys know I don’t swing that way. But she looks like she’s going to fill out her jail jumpsuit nicely.

Nicole Richie’s papa Lionel is going public with his support of his wayward daughter. Maybe he’s getting all squishy at the prospect of becoming a Grampa, or maybe he really doesn’t see that Nic has made a big ol’ mess of things.

From US Magazine:

“My daughter has made some mistakes in her life and has accepted responsibility for her actions,” Lionel tells Usmagazine.com. “She has not blamed others for her problems and is growing up very quickly, albeit in the heat of the media spotlight. “

And I’m sure Lionel is relieved that Nicole is being all responsible and not blaming others. Because you know those screwed up kids of celebrities always point the heavily medicated finger at their famous parents.

So Nicole Richie sat down with Diane Swayer for an interview and tried to play the responsible grown up. Aside from the tired “I’m ready to face the consequences of my stupidity (oops, I mean actions)” line that all the busted celebs repeat, Nic also said that she’s staying healthy and taking care of her unborn baby.

From People:

One of Sawyer’s main concerns, the ABC anchor said on Friday’s part two of her Good Morning America interview with Richie (more from the Q&A will air on Friday’s 20/20), was whether the formerly ultra-thin Simple Life star is finally eating - and not endangering the baby she’s carrying.

Sounding neither defensive nor particularly alarmed, Richie, 25, said, “Just like any mother, you know, you want to take the best care of yourself, especially while you’re pregnant. And I’m definitely eating healthier now, and I’m really playing by the rules.”

Nic went on to say that she’s not drinking or doing drugs. Is that how far we’ve lowered the bar to qualify as a good mother? Just being sober gets you some kind of an award?

Anyway, Nicole may not be getting the little one high, but she is taking the baking bun to the slammer with her. Hey, how many babies can say that they’ve been to jail before they’ve even hit preschool?

I love saying I told you so. Turns out I wasn’t just making sh** up when I reported that Nicole Richie is preggers. The world’s tiniest uterus is indeed currently occupied.

Nicole and presumed baby daddy Joel Madden recently sat down with Diane Swayer for an interview and confirmed that she is indeed going to be a mommy. Yawn…old news, sweetheart.

From TMZ:

ABC says in the interview, which airs on “Good Morning America” Thursday and Friday and on “20/20″ Friday night, Richie “speaks candidly about why this particular constellation of young female stars — Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears, among others — have behaved badly so publicly.”

Talk about expert testimony!

It’s a good thing Paris Hilton still has her Grampa’s money to fall back on, because at least one of her pseudo-careers is over. E! is reporting that the Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton fake reality show The Simple Life won’t be coming back for another season. Someone shout Hallelujah!

From E!:

“The Simple Life has been a wonderful addition to the E! Schedule for two years and we will always be grateful to Paris and Nicole for their hard work and graciousness.”

Wait, someone double check this for me. I thought we were talking about The Simple Life, but “hard work and graciousness” just doesn’t sounds like Paris and Nicole. Maybe there was some Amish show on E! that I missed.

Yep. Nicole Richie is going to be wearing an orange jumpsuit and doing the bend over and spread ‘em routine that Paris Hilton mastered not so long ago. The skinny, yet still rumored to be pregnant, Simple Life star pleaded guilty to DUI yesterday in court and was sentenced to 4 days in jail. Well technically, 5 but she got credit for the time she spent locked up when she was busted. She was also fined just over $2,000 and ordered to attend a 21 day alcohol education course. Does it really take 21 days to figure out you shouldn’t swallow a Vicodin and then drive the wrong way on a major freeway?

Anyway, Nic gets to pick if she wants to do her time in city or county jail. And you know even when Nicole gets her jail street cred Paris is still going to be bossing her around, cause Paris did 45 days…she’s hardcore.

Looks like Nicole Richie is going to be going the LA County Jail alumni association. The skinny celeb is reportedly ready to make a deal with prosecutors over her wrong way on the highway mess…and strip searches and orange jumpsuits will probably be involved.

From TMZ:

TMZ has learned Nicole Richie will appear in court Friday and will cop a plea in her DUI case.

Sources tell TMZ Richie will plead either guilty or no contest to DUI. She will appear before the Court Commissioner, who will sentence her on the spot. Sources say Richie will receive a minimum sentence of five days in jail. By law, anyone with two DUI convictions must serve at least five days. This conviction will be Nicole’s second DUI.

No word on whether Nic is going to try to use her still not official “get out of jail free” baby to sway the negotiations. Personally, I say throw some bars and guards around Hyde and lock’em all up.