Nicole Richie

Today’s a big day for Nicole Richie. The rumor is that the skinny mama-to-be had to decide by today if she would accept a plea deal with prosecutors over her wrong-way on the high (and we mean high!) way. Not that Nic was in court. The itty-bitty baby baker was headed to Canada to watch her sperm donor and future hubby Joel Madden perform.

But TMZ has the legal scoop that Nicole may reject the plea bargain and instead fight the charges based on the drug test.

The declaration, filed today by Shawn Chapman Holley, Nicole’s lawyer, states, “Dr. Terence McGee as a defense expert … will challenge the prosecutor’s scientific evidence and the conclusions reached by the drug recognition expert.”

So she thinks she got a false positive on the drug test. Any chance the same thing happened with the pregnancy stick?

Lionel Richie, who wa sonce famous for being a singer, but today is known for being Nicole Richie’s papa, is speaking out about his skinny daughter’s big fat scandals.

From TMZ:

Richie told FOXNews.com that, “she keeps apologizing to me. I told her ‘You’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing to your father at this age.” Talk about arrested development!

Richie-the-elder then blamed the media for his daughter’s drama. “There’s just so much information out there right now - MySpace, cell phones, the Internet. If we had had all that when The Commodores were around, God only knows what my mother and father would have seen.”

So he has no problem with the looming court date, a possible jail sentence, the overly tattooed boyfriend, and an out of wedlock grandbaby. Dude, he is way cooler than my dad. I should have called Lionel when I needed to get bailed out of that Mexican jail on Spring Break.

Nicole Richie and boyfriend/fiancee/whatever Joel Madden added fire to the sort-of confirmed rumors that Nic is preggers when they hit up a swank baby boutique and stocked up on lots of baby blue. Looks like Nicole may be baking a Joel Jr. Can a baby get a tattoo in utero?

From Star Magazine:

“I asked them if they were shopping for a friend and they said, no. It was obvious they were buying for themselves. When they got to the register, Nicole whispered to Joel, ‘Wait till my dad finds out.’ She was giddy the entire time, and you could tell she was excited to be there.”

I don’t know. Nicole Richie shopping in the toddler aisle…are we sure she wasn’t buying her new summer wardrobe?

Nicole Richie is really pregnant…we think. Several tabloid and gossip sources are “confirming” that the itty-bitty Simple Life star is baking a bun in her tiny oven. There is also buzz that Nicole is planning to marry Joel Madden her boyfriend and the alleged daddy of her hypothetical baby, this summer.

And coincidentally, Nicole is heading to court this month to face charges for her wrong way on the highway DUI. I’m not sure that getting knocked up out of wedlock is really the best way to demonstrate good judgement to a judge, but whatever works for you.

And the Nicole Richie rumor mill just keeps on chugging. Now the stick figure star of The Simple Life is rumored to be not only pregnant (by some bizarre twist of fertility fate) but she is also reportedly engaged to her boyfriend, and we can only assume baby daddy, Joel Madden.

From TMZ:

Rumors of Nicole Richie’s pregnancy have been swirling all week. Now sources are saying the slim “Simple Life” star is engaged, too. She (with rocker boyfriend Joel Madden in tow) turned up a Center Dance Arts benefit at the Beverly Hotel sporting a ginormous diamond engagement ring, according to the New York Post. In addition to the ring signals, Richie and Madden passed on the alcoholic beverages. Could it be because Richie’s trying not to pull a Lohan, or is it because she’s now eating and drinking for two?

Of course Nicole’s version of eating for two is getting a double shot in her latte. Stay tuned for more on this anything but simple life.

Looks like its almost official, Nicole Richie is pregnant. And if that doesn’t make you shake your head and wonder about the state of this world, then nothing will.

One of Nicole’s pals tells Page Six:

“Nicole is kind of hoping her pregnancy will keep her out of jail,” the friend said. Richie is facing time due to a DWI arrest earlier this year. But friends are concerned and “wondering if she can carry the baby to term because of her weight issues.”

Weight issues? There’s an understatement. What happens when a baby weighs more than its mother?

Rumors that Nicole Richie may be preggers are getting louder. Your humble Celebrity Rumors gossip whore was one of the first to tattle on the possibility that Nicole might be incubating a tiny person, but honestly I didn’t think the freakishly skinny Nicole had any place to keep an embryo.

But MSNBC has more dirt supporting the rumors the Nicole might be a mommy:

Richie’s rep didn’t respond to requests for comment from either L&S or The Scoop, but on May 30, the star was photographed at a reproductive clinic, and the mag quotes an “insider” as saying, “Nicole’s determined to get healthy for her own sake and the baby’s.”

Here’s a tip…eat.

Has anyone else wondered why Nicole Richie is still legally able to drive while her BFF Paris Hilton is headed to jail after getting busted for driving on a suspended license? If you remember, Nicole was busted for driving the wrong way on a highway while wasted on Vicodin.

TMZ has the story:

Paris was busted September 7, 2006 — and around 5 months later, she had already lost her driving privileges and was later arrested for violating her probation for driving on the suspended license. Richie was busted for DUI on December 11, 2006 — and almost 6 months later, she is not only still driving … but the California DMV hasn’t even begun to take action against her … [A rep for the California DMV] said: “I have no idea why Nicole still has her license.”

So Paris takes one sip too many and gets shipped off to jail, but Nicole, who was driving while in la-la land and feeling no pain, gets to keep her license. Lesson learned, don’t drink and drive, pop pills instead.

Just kidding…call off the MADD moms. Remember, kids, don’t drive while under the influence of anything stronger than Red Bull and french fries.

Forgive me for stating the obvious, but Nicole Richie is freaky skinny. I don’t really like seeing thongs hanging out of jeans, I certainly don’t want to see ribs and collarbones poking through skin. Yuck.

Anyway, go figure, but I was left off the guest list for Nicole’s Memorial Day party. Want to know why…because I eat.

Here’s the invite:

From: Nicole Richie
Subject: Masha and Nicole’s Memorial Day Party

My fellow Americans its that time of year
To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer
Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream
Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems
Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans
Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!
There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!

Of course Nicole was joking. But not really. There’s not actually a scale at the door. Except for the huge digital scale at the front door with an automated voice that announces your weigh to everyone in the room. Unless you’re Nicole Richie and then the voice just says “Damn girl, eat something!”

Despite reports from The National Enquirer and Star magazines, Nicole Richie may not be in rehab. The tabloids had tattled that Nicole entered the Beau Monde Treatment Center in California on May 11th, reportedly weighing a not at all alarming 83 pounds. The story was that the wasting away Simple Life star checked in for treatment of an eating disorder and substance abuse.

But don’t go getting your hopes up. Nicole’s peeps have dismissed the story and say that she is home in Glendale. Because why would a girl who is so thin that she is now see-through and who drives the wrong way down a highway while popping Vicodin need rehab? Rehab is really just for people who use naughty homophobic slurs or shave their heads.

Nicole Richie is blaming her recent fainting spells on low blood sugar. The ridiculously thin starlet has apparently been found little things like walking and talking too demanding and she tends to topple over.

From The New York Daily News:

“She was taken to her trailer immediately,” according to the insider. “But she came around, so the crew didn’t call an ambulance. She spent the rest of the day in her trailer and left Paris to complete the day’s filming.”

If The Simple Life is a reality show, why does Nicole have a trailer? Isn’t she supposed to be roughing it in some summer camp? Can we now officially label this “reality” show as a big, anorexic fake?

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are going to camp…and maybe jail, who knows. The Simple Life twits are coming back for another season and this time they’ll be helping shape young minds as camp counselors. And if that doesn’t make you worry about the future of our country, nothing will.

From US Magazine:

“They are going to be camp counselors at one camp in the Southern California Mountains,” says an E! spokesperson. “The camp has five different themes. Each week will be a different theme. And yes, one week is a weight loss/fitness camp. It’s not a fat camp.”

Because that doesn’t have disaster written all over it. Having Paris and Nicole teach kids how to lose weight is like having Britney Spears teach a parenting class. What are the other themes at this camp? Week one…how to make a sex tape. Week two…how to violate probaiton and avoid going to jail. Week three…learning to manage your std. Week four…promiscuity for beginners. And of course week five…the upside of eating disorders. Is the Simple Life going to pay for follow-up therapy for the happy campers?

Nicole Richie is reportedly popping ADD pills. The rumor is that the ridiculously skinny Richie is downing Adderall, a drug used to treat ADD that is also a (wait for it) big time appetite suppressant.

From In Touch Weekly:

“She loves Adderall because she stays awake, and it makes her not want to eat. And she takes it even more when she’s filming.”

So basically Nicole has a profound aversion to eating and sleeping and has resorted to boosting some 5 year old’s ADD meds so she can maintain her boyish figure and dark circles. Wow, screw Atkins…somebody sign me up for the hyper-active diet.

Courtney Love may have inadvertantly doomed the next season of The Simple Life when she posted some not quite legal details of Paris Hilton’s 26th birthday party on her website. Courtney described “a big pile of white powder” available at the party and that doesn’t sit well with the camp that was ready to put Paris and Nicole in charge of their happy campers.

From The New York Daily News:

Now the head of the Foundation for Jewish Camping is skeptical about Paris and Nicole Richie’s stint as camp counselors on the next season of “The Simple Life.” “Counselors are trained, recruited, and tested,” said Jerry Silverman. “We take [it] very seriously.”

So I guess he didn’t mind the sex tapes, the DUI’s (by both girls) or the possibility of both Paris and Nicole going to jail. Perhaps they were planning to add posing for crotch shots and making shanks to their arts and crafts program. On a side note, who would have guessed that Courtney Love would someday save a bunch of kids from a lifetime of therapy?

Pics from Paris’ birthday bash

Nicole Richie and boyfriend Joel Madden have started the rumor mill turning with their recent stop at an LA jewlery store. Could Nicole be in the market for a teeny-tiny wedding dress?

These pics of Nicole indulging an apparent two fisted coffee habit were snapped on Wednesday and she is reportedly wearing a diamond ring turned around on her all important finger.

Sure they’ve only been dating for a few months, but Nicole is looking at a possible jail sentence. Maybe she’s trying to shackle Joel so that he’ll have to wait for her while she’s hammering license plates and being traded for a pack of cigarettes.

Oooohhh…Paris Hilton is in trouble. The “what do you mean I have to follow the same laws as all those poor people” heiress was stopped by Hollywood police while driving her Bentley after a quickie trip to the Virgin Megastore for some dvds.

From TMZ:

Paris’ publicist, Elliot Mintz, tells TMZ the heiress was exiting the parking structure which “is brightly lit so she had not noticed that her headlights were not activated.”…She was pulled over and deputies discovered she was driving with a suspended license. According to Mintz, “If that was the case, she was not aware of it.”

TMZ has confirmed that Paris Hilton violated the terms of her probation last night when she was arrested for driving on a suspended license, and could spend up to 90 days in jail as a result.

I can see why she forgot to turn on her headlights. The glow from her spray-on tan is plenty bright by itself. But how do you not know that your drivers license is suspended? I don’t think she can use the old, my monkey ate my summons excuse…nobody believes that one anymore.

So do we think it is a coincidence that Paris and Nicole Richie are both facing jail at the same time? Can you say “The Simple Life Goes to Jail”? Paris is a marketing genius…did I spell that right, I was laughing so hard my fingers may have skipped a bit.

The Simple Life may be filming in a women’s prison next season. Nicole Richie has been officially charged with a DUI and is facing the possibility of jail time.

From Yahoo News:

Nicole Richie was charged with a DUI today [not today, actually last week] for the incident in December when she was arrested for driving the wrong way on the freeway in her SUV. The case allso alleges she had a prior misdemeanor DUI conviction in 2003 and according to Calfiornia law, if convicted of a DUI twice within 10 years a person faces a sentence of 90 days to a year in jail, a fine between $390 and $1,000, and a suspension of driving privileges.

I hope the stick has been practicing how to sharpen her designer shades in shanks because that girl might as well have “make me your bitch” tattooed on her forehead.

Yep, this is the guy Hilary Duff and Nicole Richie have been fighting over. Wow, that Joel Madden, he’s a winner. The Karate Kid crane kick at the beach. Dude, that move is so “80’s.

Not that I mind seeing Nicole Richie hook up with an overly tattooed musician with a Ralph Macchio complex. I forsee many more pda pictures, a few good public fights and a nasty break-up. Besides, I like Hilary Duff more than I like Nicole Richie. Of course that’s kind of like picking broccoli or brussel sprouts.

On a side note, whatever happened to Ralph Macchio?

Nicole Richie has decided to do her spring cleaning a little early this year. Rumor has it that the tiny trouble maker has hired a shaman to do a spiritual cleansing of her West Hollywood apartment. The cleansing included chanting and burning sage. Insiders say Nicole is worried that someone in her circle of friends has put a hex on her.

She’s very superstitious and believes in this stuff. It’s a very personal thing for Nicole. Nicole believes in curses but would never put one on anyone, not even her worst enemy.”

Yep, it must have the evil eye that made Nicole pop those pills and try to weave her way home. Or maybe the smash up that is Nicole’s life has more to do with her own crappy judgment than with someone taking a few strands of her hair and mixing it with rotten milk and chicken feathers.

Besides, I tried that with my ex-boyfriend and the only bad thing that happened was the horrible smell in my apartment.

Hilary Duff is like so totally mad at that skank Nicole Richie. Like, you won’t believe it, but Nic is totally hooking up with Hil’s ex Joel Madden. Ugh, that is so way uncool.

I always wondered what happened to those popular girls in high school. Apparently they go to Hollywood, get drunk and sleep with each other’s boyfriends. Gee, too bad I went to college.

MSNBC says:

Duff has bad-mouthed Richie — who she thinks is a “skank,” according to Us Weekly.

“[Duff] can’t believe he’s dating Nicole and thinks she’s a skank,” a source told Us, adding that when Duff heard about Richie’s arrest, “she asked if Nicole had been coming from Joel’s. … She kept saying she never knew Joel at all.”

How desperate do you have to be to sleep with Nicole Richie? A coat rack has fewer sharp edges than that girl.