Scarlett Johansson

Can you imagine what the poor guys’ reaction must have been??? “Um…thanks, baby. Hey, when you get your tonsils out, can you make that into a cuff for me? Awesome.” Or, more likely, “Heh. Heh…(uncomfortable silence ensues)” and then silently, I’ve really got to get my locks changed.

Or maybe this is really one of those passive aggressive things, where she’s trying to get him to dump her so that she doesn’t have to dump him! Ooh, she’s a smart one, that Scarlett.

But maybe she’s just one of those gorgeous crazy people. I wonder if this is just what happens when you use too much peroxide.

Hollywood has a new hook-up. “It” girl Scarlett Johansson and makes my mouth water hot bod Ryan Reynolds are reportedly ready to come out of the celebrity dating closet and go public with their sure to be glamourous red carpet coupledom.

From MSN:

After months of surreptitious spit-swapping, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds have finally decided to take their schmoopiness public. Snappers caught the twosome clasping hands Monday as they landed at Los Angeles International Airport, with both kitted out in standard celebrity camouflage gear — goofy hats and sunglasses. The stacked starlet and the ripped actor, who were first seen locking lips last spring, were returning from a trip to his hometown of Vancouver, British Columbia, where People reports they enjoyed a romantic candlelit dinner a deux. Rhapsodizes an eyewitness, “Scarlett radiated joy.”

Dude, have you seen Ryan’s abs? I’d radiate joy too if I got to go home and slide on those ripples.

Uh-oh, sounds like golden girl Scarlett Johansson has been listening to too much of her own good press. The “in almost every movie ever made” Scarjo has reportedly turned up the diva-ness on the set of her latest flick He’s Just Not That Into You.

From Us Magazine:

A source tells Us that on her first day, the star, 22, had a driver shuttle her the 100 yards to the set, while costar Drew Barrymore simply walked the distance. (Johansson also asked for three assistants to shield her with umbrellas.)

A production source says, “We prefer talent use vans when filming on public streets, and Scarlett has only been professional.”

Professional. Hmmm…that doesn’t sound overly enthusiastic. You know, in terms of Hollywood probability it was just a matter of time before Scarjo’s ego started to match the size of her boobs.

What did Scarlett Johansson do to herself? The usually smoking hot and cleavage flashing Scarjo was spotted out and about looking like this. Is she on an urban safari? What are we hunting…high stress stockbrokers?

And what’s with the nose ring? I don’t mind piercings, but this one makes her look like a very small, very white bull.

Photos courtesy of INF Photos

Scarlett Johansson may be trying out a second career. The buxom blonde beauty was spotted at the Coachella Music Festival this past weekend and someone passed her a microphone. Scarjo got on stage and sang some background for The Jesus and Mary Chain on their song “Just Like Honey.” Unfortunately, the going rumor is that Scarjo can’t sing. Apparently she had one word to sing and she sucked at it. I don’t know if that’s true or not, I wasn’t there. The music fest was out in the middle of the freaking desert. And I’m not giving up my air conditioning just to find out if Scarjo can sing.

But you’d think with all the rolling around and dry humping she and Justin Timberlake did on that music video at least some musical ability would have rubbed off on her. Guess that wasn’t what she was rubbing.

Scarlett Johansson hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend and while she may have made fans happy with her ample and obvious cleavage, at least one photographer was unimpressed with the ta-ta twins.

From TMZ:

Photogs went wild trying to get a shot of Johansson heading into an SNL afterparty at McCormick & Schmick’s late Saturday night in New York. When the stacked starlet tried to brush by the crowd, one cameraman started shouting “don’t be a bitch! Bitch! Bitch!”

What, calling her a bitch didn’t make her suddenly stop, turn around and smile pretty for the camera? I’m shocked. Who can possibly figure out what women want these days?

New couple alert…and talk about taking the hotness to a new level. Hollywood is abuzz with the rumor that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are dating.

From US Magazine:

On April 8, Johansson, 22, drew stares at NYC’s Carlyle hotel, where she dined with actor Ryan Reynolds and three others. “They were definitely together,” says an eyewitness.

The meal capped off a weekend of togetherness for the new couple, who ate Italian at Rao’s and kissed at the club Azza on April 6, then feasted on burgers and pasta at Odeon, near the actress’ apartment the next night. “She was very affectionate,” says a fellow Odeon

So this comes after Scarjo was supposedly dating Justin Timberlake and Ryan Reynolds was maybe, possibly dating fellow hot bod Jessica Biel who was also reportedly dating Justin. I sucked at geometry, is this a love quadrangle or a love trapezoid? Seriously, its time for Hollywood hotties to start looking for love a few blocks further off the strip. This is too close to incest for me to happy about sexy people having sex.

Scarlett Johansson may be able to act, but she’s best known in Hollywood for her smoking hot bod. The girl has more curves than a mountain road…more mountains too if you know what I mean. But Scarjo doesn’t plan on revealing her goodies to movie audiences.

Life Style Extra reports:

Scarlett Johansson is insisting on a no-nudity clause in all her movie contracts. The curvaceous 22-year-old is determined to be seen as a serious actress and now won’t commit to any role without the clause.

Of course eventually the right payday will come along and she’ll give it up. And as long as Scarjo keeps showing up in public dressed like this I think horny guys everywhere will survive.

As if we needed further proof that Scarlett Johansson’s breasts are the two most popular people in Hollywood. Here’s Scarjo all dressed up and her boobs are trying to steal the spotlight…and succeeding. Scarlett is lucky she didn’t get sued for causing whiplash as she walked around flashing her best side boob.

Here’s a sight to make Justin Timberlake cringe. Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel, both rumored to be Justin cuddle-bunnies, were spotted hanging together in Paris. And what do think they were talking about?

From Just Jared:

Scarlett lunched at the quaint Spoon restaurant and browsed through the Louis Vuitton showroom. After quickly making her escape out through the back door, Scarlett, 22, met up with her new best friend Biel, 25. The unlikely pair shopped together at the chic luxury shop “Le Bon Marche.”

Both girls have kept mum on their possible Justin relationships. I doubt either of them wanted to risk the wrath of the still smoldering Cameron Diaz. Maybe that’s why the two have suddenly bonded…there’s safety in numbers.

You know, my 7th grade health teacher said that when you sleep with someone, you sleep with all of their previous partners. So doesn’t that mean Jessica and Scarlett are like one step away from being lesbian lovers? Easy, boys, it’s just a statistic.

I doubt that she needed it, but Scarlett Johansson has yet more proof that she’s a super-sexy woman. Playboy Magazine has named Scarjo as their Sexiest Celebrity of the Year. Scarlett beat out a horde of other Hollywod hotties including Angelina Jolie, Beyonce and last year’s winner Jessica Alba,

Playboy’s reason for choosing the blonde beauty:

Scarlett Johansson is the apex of beauty and sensuality - from her porcelain skin to her fully feminine figure to her mysterious charisma, which is at once palpable and indefinable.

So is “fully feminine” the new way to say big boobies? I don’t know who Scarlett’s publicist is, but I’m starting to think it’s Lucifer himself because this chick is everywhere. I’m waiting for the day that Scarlett presents an Oscar to herself for playing herself in “The Scarlett Johansson Story.” Oh, and I’m sure she and her rack will look fabulous doing it.

Scarlett Johansson has been named “Woman of the Year” by the Hasting Pudding Theatricals at Harvard University. Scarlett braved the cold to ride in the traditional parade sandwiched between two guys in drag.

From The Sydney Morning Herald:

“Everything I ever dreamed of when I was a little girl is happening to me right now,” Johansson joked as two flamboyantly dressed male members of the theatrical troupe kissed her while she rode down Massachusetts Avenue in a Bentley.

The actress, who did not attend college, noted that her mother still pesters her about seeking higher education. “This is the closest I’ll ever get to a Harvard degree, for sure,” she said as she hoisted her pudding pot.

The acting troupe said they were honoring Scarlett for her “lasting and impressive achievement to the world of entertainment.” But you know the real reason they picked her was so they could kiss her. Who says a college education doesn’t pay off?

Scarlett Johansson is downplaying rumors that she and Justin Timberlake have entered coupledom. And she’s looking hot doing it.

From All Headline News:

She told E! News at the Grammy Awards, “We have a lot of friends in common, and Justin’s a sweetheart, and it’s always good to see him. But there’s a lot of speculation and I try not to read that stuff. I think when two people are single and are seen together, it’s immediately like a crazy feeding frenzy.”

Of course Scarjo just happened to be at the Grammy Awards when she so coyly not-quite-denied being JT’s new cuddle-bunny. And there’s your proof. Unless you’re nominated for something, performing or watching your secret mattress bouncing partner perform, there is no good reason for going to the Grammy’s.

Give it up to Mr. Sexy Back. Justin Timberlake went from snuggling up to Jessica Biel in snowy Sundance, to warming the sheets with Scarlett Johansson in Miami. Seriously, is the former boy bander hypnotizing all of Hollywood’s hottest chicks?

From In Touch Weekly:

“They [Scarjo and JT] spent the whole weekend together,” an insider tells In Touch. The pair — who reportedly had a fling after she starred in his video “What Comes Around…” — met up at his bungalow in the Delano hotel at around 3:00 a.m. on February 4, a witness tells In Touch.

At 3:30 a.m. on February 5, the pair snuck out the back door holding hands and headed back to the Delano for the night. Although Jessica is still in the picture, an insider says, “Justin and Scarlett are totally back on.”

Ok, Jessica and Scarlett are gorgeous. They could have an army of horny guys fulfilling their very whim. Why would either one of these girls hang around while a guy blantly hooks up with another woman? Let me rephrase that, why would either of these girls hook up with Justin Timberlake? What am I missing??

David Beckham, Scarlett Johansson Beyonce and more are playing dress-up for Disney. Annie Liebovitz is photographing the celebs portraying famous Disney characters as part of Disney’s Year of a Million Dreams bonanza.

Becks decided that he fits the bill as Prince Charming, complete with sword, white horse and fire breathing dragon.

“There were many Disney characters I liked as a kid,” Beckham said in a statement released by Disney on Friday.

“Now my sons love the Disney characters and it’s a big part of their lives, a big part of many children’s lives around the world. So to be part of that is an honor and very exciting,” he said.

Check out the pics of Scarlett as Cinderella (wearing a designer gown and a 62 carat Harry Winston tiara) and Beyonce as Alice in Wonderland. And is that Lyle Lovett sitting in the teacup?

This whole thing is just a little too “look at the pretty celebrities” for me to support. Now if there were a few shots of Hilary Clinton as the Wicked Witch and Tom Cruise as Cruella del Ville, that I could get behind.

Did Justin Timberlake leave Cameron Diaz for super-babe Scarlett Johansson? JT and Scarlett met while working together on Justin’s new video. And that was while he and Diaz were still locking lips. Hmmm…I think I see someone trading up.

Of course you can’t blame the guy. Cameron Diaz has been so full of herself lately. And Scarlett is, you know, gorgeous, talented and stacked like the shelves at Wal-Mart…high and full. Plus, her eyes don’t disappear whenever she smiles.

I never really got why Cameron Diaz is supposd to be sexy, but when you put her next to Scarlett Johansson, she looks like Scarlett’s older wrinkled sister. And Cameron may think she’s a freaky kind of girl, but Scarlett always looks like she’s just had sex or in on her way to make some guy really, really happy.