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This is actually difficult to watch. Tyra starts off using this hideous fake accent and pretending to be classy and funny. I am convinced that Tyra should have became a stand up comedian instead of a super model after watching this disaster.

My eyes hurt.

When the news first broke that sexy escort, Ashley Dupre, was the NY Governors play thang, Ashley was as hot as a firecracker in Georgia on the 4th of July! But then the news broke that she passed along her fake id to Joe Francis and took some nudes, and all those million dollar offers went the wayside.

NY Daily news says, The aspiring singer was looking for a power flak to help her cash in on her 15 minutes of infamy with New York’s luv gov. But she’d been getting the cold shoulder from all the big name firms.
She finally cut a deal with Susan Blond Public Relations, who also represent Usher and several New York City clubs and restaurants. The firm also used to work with PR nightmare Star Jones.

Looks like the hourly rate worked out better than the 15 minutes of fame. Go figure.

Call it a string of bad luck, or if you are me, call it orgasmic, but whatever you call it, Dr. Phil is back in trouble; again.

TMZ says, Here’s the way it all went down: The good Doc’s executive staff sent a seasoned producer down to Florida, along with a P.A. to chase the story of 8 teens who allegedly beat a classmate on tape. We’re told the folks back home were horrified when they saw Mr. Large-and-In-Charge putting the smack down on local reporters after springing 17-year-old Mercades Nichols from the pokey. We’re told execs on the show were pissed that the experienced producer allowed the P.A. to be in a position to embarrass the show in front of the cameras.
The bigger question — who hatched the plan to pay the bail for the woman accused of kidnapping and videotaping the brutal beating? The show issued a statement saying certain staff members “went beyond their guidelines,” but the buzz on the Paramount lot is that it would be impossible for the producer to pay the $3,300 for the bail and put up $33,000 in collateral without the full knowledge and approval of higher-ups on the show.

Dr. Phil is pretty much the anti-christ, and this is just more evidence to support such. I thank Oprah for spawning this evil. Who in their right mind goes and bails out someone accused of kidnapping?

Cruisentology has upped the ante in taking Katie Holmes from the Dawson Creek hottie, to just looking like 12 year old boy heading to T-Ball practice.  The new bob hairdo really has taken her to a new level of ruin. Maybe Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are actually trying to look like each other? In this case, I am not sure if I should be hoping that Tom ends up looking more like Katie, in hopes of restoring the little she has left, or if that would make me weird?

More Katie Holmes bob haircut pictures.

Former New York Governor Spitzer should probably change his title from “Former Governor” to “Star Maker,” because that seems to be exactly what he has done. Yesterday, it was reported that Hustler Magazine was vying for a nude shoot with Ashley that would potentially land her on the cover, and they alluded to the paying her well, saying she would be taken care of.

Now people are buying her songs, apparently ahead of more popular singers.

Silicon Alley Insider says, Ashley’s first song — “What We Want” — hit Amie Street’s top price of 98 cents before midnight last night. Overnight she’s uploaded a second track — “Move Ya Body” — and this one seems to be selling briskly, too. It’s already at 98 cents.
How many tracks has Ashley actually sold? Amie Street won’t say. But the company does note that her page is now more popular than those of artists you’d actually heard of before this week.

I hope this doesn’t mean she is going to stop hooking. Don’t get me wrong, I love Cinderella stories as much as the next guy, but I would way rather envision Ashley doing,….well….you know.

I checked out some of the music, Ashley definitely has more talent than Britney, which isn’t really saying much anymore. Maybe Ashley is going to release more hooks in the near future. Ok, that wasn’t that funny, but it’s Friday so I tried.

The Australian Herald says, “Let me make this as plain as possible - Benji did not leave me for Paris Hilton,” she said via her Los Angeles management.
“Benji and I did not break up badly or anything like that. We both decided, as adults, our relationship had run its course and decided to move on. I feel no animosity towards Benji and Paris at all and am very happy with life at the moment.”

She also added on that her face is slowly becoming an experiment in human sheetrock. Ok, she didn’t say that, but she could have said that and you never would have known differently.

It amazes me that celebrities take time out of their busy days to make up lies about themselves. Lets face it, clearly Benji dumped her for Paris. Why you ask? Because Paris is the meal ticket to more and more young tail. Period. Once you have dated Paris, you can rest assured you will be left with lots of young tail and a case of herpes.

Hey, take the good with the bad here…

More Sophie Monk pictures

While Nicole Richie is off impressing Broadway, Paris was keeping it real for 944 Magazine by being topless. I would like to extend a big thanks to Paris for not trying to perform on Broadway and keeping it real by continuing to use her body to get ahead in the world. You’re hot Paris, and all you have to do is let people take pictures of you complimented with the occasional dirty act on camera that leaks to the Internet. Broadway is work. Simple Life is enough.

N ow that I think about it, I bet Nicole is having this Broadway crap spread since Paris is now on the hunt for a new Simple Life partner in crime.

Now it all makes sense. Enjoy more Paris Hilton pictures, they are pretty hot.

Maybe she should start cheering for The Cowboys. Oh, wait, she can’t even do that gig properly, see Jessica Simpson cheering cowboys. Wow.

Anyways, I guess she is now taking steps to prevent another great flick to come out which would permanently isolate her from career success. A video for Speedfit. Susanne Summers is probably trembling from the thought of such a new, youthful competitor hitting her market.

Page Six says, Speedfit owner Alex Astilean sued Simpson last year for $10 million - and since she’s refused to settle, Astilean’s now suing her manager dad, Joe, as well. Astilean said, “They are hurting millions of fat people in America.” 

I bet this flick would sell more than her last project. Maybe her and Paris Hilton should work together? Check out Paris Hiltons latest worst seller.

Maybe Paris and Jessica should compete for which of the two can completely hit bottom first. And then go have mimosas at The Ivy to celebrate.

Jamie Lynn Spears is saying she isn’t a virgin and well, she will soon have the trophy to prove it. She is 16 years old with none of her life ahead of her. She plans to keep the baby and but hopefully plans to abort the douchebag.

Extra has recieved a statement from Nickelodeon (Jamie Lynn stars on the Nick series series “Zoey 101.”). Nickelodeon says: “We respect Jamie Lynn’s decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn’s well being.”

Now the Spears family trains is in full swing. Two trailer park girls run ’round the outside, ’round the outside, ’round the outside… the only thing going in the kid’s favor so far is that Britney is only the aunt by law, not the mother.

Piper Perabo showed up at a New York City museum benefit on Thursday, not matching. Not her dress, although the dress didn’t look so hot with her red shoes, but more her roots. Hot former Coyote Ugly bartender may not be in drink slinging shape right now, she looks a bit fragile.

But, of course, I still would.

And next Spring, she will have the trophy to prove it.

People Magazine: Jessica Alba is pregnant with boyfriend Cash Warren’s child, her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.
“I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer,” says rep Brad Cafarelli.
Alba, 26, has dated Warren, 28, since the fall of 2004 after they met on the set of The Fantastic Four, on which Warren was a director’s assistant.
The couple have been seen being affectionate together in Los Angeles in recent days, shopping for mattresses last Saturday and attending a Lakers game, where they were spotted kissing Sunday.

Let this sink in so we can move on.

Done?

Good. So, it’s time to start thinking in terms of the good ‘ole “snap back probability.” You know, after a really hot girl puts out a trophy, how long until she snaps back into proper form? The reality is, most women don’t. But this is Hollywood. Lets look back at some celebrity women that Alba should call for a little advice.

And now for who NOT to call.

Ok, she has never given birth but still, I don’t think calling her is a good idea for anyone.

It isn’t uncommon for celebs to need protection. Although many choose to hire security, some like the additional means of personal protection from bad situations. Ya never know! OJ had his hands and reputation. Robert Blake has a handgun. Kevin Federline has his career and personality. And Naomi had her Blackberry…you know, the one that kept her threatening maid in check.

Well, not anymore. Apparently the Naomi the Great lost it at a Led Zeppelin concert. Maybe she threw it during their performance of Immigrant Song?

Well now we’re all screwed. Kiefer Sutherland, the guy who’s always saving the world from terrorists, has just been busted for another DUI. This bust comes while Kiefer is still on probation for his last not quite sober vehicular adventure so now he’s facing possible jail time. If he gets sentenced to the ugly jumpsuits and close quarters he could serve anywhere from four days to one year. So who’ s gonna defuse the nuclear bomb if Kiefer is busy hammering out license plates?

Photos courtesy of WENN