Bo Derek. An American icon. One of the most iconic sex symbols ever to grace the pages of American culture. Classy.

Courtney Stodden. None of that.

Which is what makes the idea of Courtney Stodden doing a photo tribute to Bo Derek while wearing a bikini and turding up her hair in nasty braids makes this all the more completely absurd. This is like Spencer Pratt holding a cigar as a tribute to Jackie Gleason, he’d still be Spencer Pratt and we’d still know that (which is the big issue we are dealing with here). It’s Courtney Stodden…attention whore…it doesn’t go away. Plus, she just isn’t Bo Derek. Bo Derek was such a classic, walls of Shawshank, hotness. Courtney is like walls of gas station bathroom, back pages of street side rag mags with a number pinned to the top of the picture, hotness.

Both are hot. But both are so different. Immitation is the highest form of flattery? I don’t know, something tells me that Bo is either contemplating eating cyanide this morning or in reclusion somewhere unabomber style. Like dark shades and beard and all. And yes, Bo Derek with a beard is still better than Courntey Stodden without a beard.

So when does Lindsay Lohan do a tribute to Marilyn Monroe? Oh, wait…

Well look, lets end the hate. Enjoy the pictures.

Courntey Stodden, Mr. Bubbles and Captain Narcissist all got together for a little soiree at what surely can only be an attention whoring photo shoot. I think Courtney has a little alarm that goes off if she feels the Internet has been absent of her photos for more than 4 days straight. Or maybe she just has Siri remind her?  All the same, Doug Hutchinson’s wife redefines intimate moments with bath time, photographer and backlight.

I feel like I am helping ruin the Internet one Courtney Stodden post at a time. Kind a like people who liter or throw cigs down drain pipes in California. Like its all one massive effort. Maybe there should be a movement to stop posting her pictures, or like an Internet carpool lane for those that don’t put pictures of her up anywhere.

Until then though, I’m a sucker for this crap. Oh and good morning, it’s Saturday, go do something fun today like booze away the afternoon and make fun of other people that’ can’t hear you. Or how do you call it? People watch?

Yesterday was Easter, the day that Christ was resurrected. Thankfully this happened because without such, there would be no Courtney Stodden for the world to enjoy. So yes, in a way, Christ brought us the trashiest teen on planet earth. Here are some pictures of how a trashy teen girl celebrated Easter, I didn’t know they sold bimbo bunny ears, but here they are (Hef must be rolling over in the grave he’s to one day fill). You can also see in the pictures that Courtney is fixing a jeep, because she’s handy like that. Don’t feel bad for looking, it is what it is.

When the beach boys wrote Surfin’ in the USA, I promise you one thing, this is not what they meant. Courtney Stodden did her best to pose for photographers in what appears to be a set up surfer set. I mean, wouldn’t believe that Courtney belongs amongst some of the most athletic and coordinated girls in the world. Oh wait, most everyone that can breath. But hey, I’d hit it, and so would you. Nothing like a married teen shunning the responsibilities of her underage marriage by frolicking on a beach with a surf board. Enjoy the bikini pictures.

Courtney Stodden used to a normal, gun carrying, teenage girl. Before her days as a spray tan, plastic barbie doll chemical expose, she was sort of normal, as you can see in what appears to be her old modeling pictures (plus some). The before and after is pretty  stunning, similar in type to how the earth looked during the ice age compared to how it looks now. God is smiling down, and frowning at the same time. Happy Sunday.

Courtney is a 17 year old music composer…..ok, that’s what her bio says. She’s actually a 17 year old chick with a seriously bad fake tan that was allowed by her mother to marry that guy from Lost named Doug Hutchinson. That’s him in the above picture. I thought about photoshopping a dog collar on him, because I am a sick minded individual. But I opted not to draw anymore attention to him than necessary.  Bikini, bad tan, Courtney Stodden: go get your pictures, you deserve them.