Oh man, how happy am I this Tuesday morning? Heidi Montag has come out of hiding. The newly plastic infused queen of Jesus came out to see her good friend Kristin Cavallari at her baby shower. Nothing brings out the hotties from hiding like a good old fashioned baby shower. Montag had her balloons with her. And by balloons, I mean her big silicon fun bag boobs. And gracious I am. It’s so nice to see her without Spencer tagging along anymore, is it really over? I have no idea, she really has been in seclusion since she went crazy passing out in a plastic surgeons wet dream. I admit I miss the pre-plastic Heidi a lot, but the look has grown on me. Maybe it’s just because it has been a year or so since I have seen her and I am way more desperate now than I was then. Hey, I am not ashamed, I have been on a bit of a 2 year bad streak. That’s life. Don’t hate. Personally I think Kristin Cavallari took the reigns from Heidi in a big way, but now that she is the host of a baby shower, that kind of voids that idea. But a pregnant Kristin Cavallari is better than like the last 8 chicks I hooked up with…combined. And really, no need to combine these chicks, if you catch my evil drift.

So here are the pictures of Heidi Montag. Her boobs really do look wonderful. Hot stuff.

Heidi Montag is back with her husband Spencer Pratt. That means no divorce and what’s better, no tit reduction surgery, since it was Pratt’s idea in the first place for her to go to a triple Z tit size.

According to a source next to Heidi Montag, she cancelled the divorce papers because she missed Spencer and felt lonely and lost without him controlling her life. Let’s face it, he may be a douche bag, but he helped Heidi get to where she is right now, so in the long run he has been good to her. And good to us too; not only should we thank him for encouraging her to get massive implants, but now, in their second day officially back together, she was so happy and jumpy that she lifted her skirt so high that she gave us a great upskirt shot of her lace panties. So, thank you Spencer, thank you!

Heidi Montag turned 24 years old yesterday, and she celebrated it by making out with no other than her soon to be ex-husband. Or has the blonde star of The Hills changed her mind about divorcing Spencer Pratt?

The two spent the last few days in Costa Rica, where she had tried to stay away from him, while he was spotted trying to peak into her beach-side villa with a telescopic lens. Now they were caught kissing by paparazzi, back in the United States, while having dinner at the Santa Barbara Pier. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep up with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. But as long as she doesn’t get her boobs reduced, we’ll try!

We all remember when Heidi Montag and her costar Spencer Pratt got married and had the subsequent honey moon in Costa Rica (complete with some jungle adventures where they got lost in the jungle and the Army had to go rescue them). As a result, they fell in love with that beautiful and lush Central American country and bought themselves a villa there.

Now that their marriage is in the pits and Heidi has filed for divorce, she has flown down to spend some quality time alone and “try to find herself”. As you can see, this quality time is spent in the pool dressed in a skimpy bikini, while making sad faces. Oh, the life of the rich and famous!

Heidi Montag can’t make up her mind, and now she has decided she wants to make her boobs smaller. In an exclusive interview for Life & Style, the The Hills star said:

I’m desperate to go back to normal…I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D.

She also added:

I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs. It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life. I feel trapped in my own body.

Heidi Montag’s plastic surgeon died in a car crash last week, leaving the actress pretty distressed, and making her having to shop for a new doctor. As long as she doesn’t try to have another ten surgeries the same day, she shouldn’t have a problem… there’s lots of docs out there who’d die to get their hands on Heidi Montag’s boobs!

Here’s Heidi Montag in work out clothes lounging in her back yard and trying to look sad. She’s not doing a very good job of it, but her ass still looks great, so I thought these photos were worth sharing with you. Speaking of asses, I can’t remember if Heidi’s ass was one of her body parts subjected to surgical torture a few months ago or not. Still, it’s a very fuckable ass. I’d shoot one in it for the team.

During the weekend, the The Hills star announced that her and her husband Spencer Pratt have called it quits because he is “too controlling” and she wants to pursue her acting career. Despite these two always appearing in public together, their impending divorce certainly does not come as a surprise… after all, she got 10 surgeries and a terrific new look and he just got 10 pounds heavier.

Heidi Montag has taken to Twitter to let fans know she is happier than ever even though she has no friends. “My last surgery was the BEST decision of my life! Anything else anyone says (family members who are trying to make money off of me) is a lie!” she tweeted. “I have never felt sexier, happier, or more amazing in my own skin. I truly look the way I have always dreamed, I love America and freedom!”

Think that was intense? Get ready, the Hills reality star continued: “P.S. I HAVE NO FRIENDS, the ones who are pretending to be ‘friends’ or ‘family’ are crazy, angry, broke, and bitter. This is why they haven’t been in my life for years! LIARS!” But despite their personal issues, Heidi wants her fans to know she’s doing better than ever. “I love me! And I love life!” she Twittered. “Every moment counts!”

Heidi Montag announced today that her plans to sue The Hills creator Adam DeVillo are nothing but ancient history. Supposedly DeVillo groped Montag during a photo shoot a few weeks ago (right after she got her new bolt-ons) and as a result, the law suit was supposed to mention “sexual harassment and inappropriate physical contact”, but apparently Heidi changed her mind about it for lack of evidence.

The New York Post reported today that:

Heidi and [husband] Spencer [Pratt] have changed their minds and realized they should just move on.

After meeting with her attorneys, the blonde actress went on record saying that it all had been a misunderstanding. I have no idea how someone “misunderstands” being groped, but all is possible when it comes to Heidi Montag.

Heidi Montag was the hostess of the grand opening of the Liquid Pool Lounge at the Aria resort and Casino in Las Vegas, where she unveiled her full body in a bikini for the first time after her ever so talked about 10-surgery day.

The results are actually remarkable, and surgery or no surgery, Heidi looks great. Her tits are enormous (probably as big as her spine can support without collapsing), her ass is hard as a tortoise shell and her stomach is flat like an ironing board. Granted, they’re all the result of liposuction, ass implants and tits implants. But are we really going to get picky? She looks good and she’s proud of herself, what else could we ask from her? During the opening, she said:

I haven’t been in a bikini since my new body and of course I’m wearing my own designs so I’m excited to show the world.

Heidi Montag may have made a mistake when she had facial surgery a couple of months ago, but apparently she did the right thing by getting her boobs increased to a whopping triple D.

After the big controversy arising from her surgeries, Heidi has landed several new gigs in addition to her regular role on The Hills, and they all seem to be related to her new boob size. First she was hired to film a little video for Funny Or Die where she advocates consumer protection against credit card debt, and now she is in the process of filming a cameo for the movie Just Go With It. This may be Heidi Montag’s big break, since she’ll be acting opposite Jennifer Aniston, Adam Sandler and Nicole Kidman. Below some photos of Heidi during the shooting at El Matador Beach in Malibu, California.