Jenna Jameson gets a DUI. Involves Pole. Metaphors in overdrive.

jenna jameson, birthday, dui, tight dress

Jenna Jameson got tagged by the pokey for a DUI.

via TMZ: Law enforcement sources tell TMZ the porn queen was involved in a single car accident at around 1:30 AM after her car struck a pole.
According to our sources, Jameson showed signs of possibly being under the influence of alcohol and was given a field sobriety test . We’re told she was subsequently arrested for misdemeanor suspicion of DUI.

See, this is what happens when you stop with oxycontin! You get DUI’s! Tito Ortiz may armbar her for this. Ok, I will stop, I am being very unclassy now. So anyways, her car struck a pole, maybe she thought she was somewhere else? Jesus, I can’t stop. It’s like an obsession to say trashy things. I feel like I am normally totally classy and sophisticated.  What is the deal with celebs and DUI’s? Seriously, I am broke and I always find a way to sucker my friends into driving. If I were rich, I would have a driver at all times. His name would be Mr. Bankshire. He would wear a suit and drive me around in a pimped out Escalade. See, I have thought this through. Here’s a tip Jenna, why don’t you think this through also? This post hurts me, I need some oxycontin, stat.

Here are some pictures of Jenna Jameson in a sexy tight dress at her 38th birthday party back in April. You can see Tito Ortiz beefcaking out in the background. I’m flexing right now.

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