Woody Allen goes for easy date, with Lindsay Lohan.

lindsay lohan, woody allen, philippe, manhattan

Woody Allen took Lindsay Lohan out for dinner this weekend. Hmmm…maybe since Scarlett Johansson is trying to find new bags to put all her Avengers money in, Allen is trying to find a new girl to work in his movies. Remember, the likes of Diane Keaton came from Woody Allen’s films, so Lindsay would do herself a huge favor by laying off the partying and taking up Woody on his potential offer.

Or, being there are two sides to every coin, and being that I am a professional journalist and must examine the every angles and be fair. Maybe Lindsay took Woody out to see if he would be interested in doing blow for the next year’s worth of time at Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood? You see how that works? Investigative journalism?

Phone calls to both Woody and Lindsay were not returned. Well, at least not returned by them. An actual investigator did call me and tell me not to call either of them ever again and something about 100 yards, I didn’t really get it all.  Here is more.

“They had dinner together [Saturday] in New York,” Lohan’s rep tells PEOPLE. “Lindsay very much admires Mr. Allen.”

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Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian to attend White House dinner.

lindsay lohan, kim kardashian, white house, greta van susteren, john coale,

And in other news, Hitler’s hologram has been invited to speak at the Museum of Tolerance this weekend in Los Angeles. Ok, maybe not, but did you notice how it beheld the same fury of total shock and disgust? Apparently this is all on Gret Van Sustren. Shocker.

via Gawker:
Kardashian was invited by the news network; Greta Van Susteren and her husband John Coale invited Lohan.
Kardashian is no stranger to the gala, having attended in 2010 with Van Susteren. Her plus-one for the evening will be momager Kris Jenner. Lohan’s publicist told WaPo’s The Reliable Source that his client will be bringing along her defense attorney Shawn Holley.

Because of this ridiculousness, Greta Van Sustren is somehow pulling the impractical and becoming more annoying than her dinner guest Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan. Why? Because she somehow is pompous enough to think that inviting these two will make her appear to be above the laws of not looking like an idiot. This is kinda like when you see some douchebag on the street wearing an Affliction shirt and you are all like “idiot douchebag,” but then you see that same shirt on say a big UFC fighter like Chuck Liddel and you are all like “he is bad a#$.”

Kardashian and Lohan are the bad Affliction shirt that are still bad when worn by Van Sustren and her stupid husband John Coale. I can only assume this is for some show she is doing which makes it even more pathetic. Unless she thinks she is being savvy and leaving the current administration a political message. You know, like leaving a bag of poo on fire on the front door step for Obama to come out and smash with his foot. But if that’s the case, then leave a bag of poo on fire on the doorstep. Don’t make Lohan and Kardashian your poo guest. Lohan can’t even be on time for the show Glee, how do you expect her to make a White House dinner on time?

In honor of this Government day of mourning, I leave you with some pictures of Kim Kardashian in tight business casual pants. But only because I have a heart.

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Lindsay Lohan late for Glee, cast none too thrilled

Lindsay Lohan, glee, lea michele, cory monteith, dianna agron, dot marie jones

Lindsay Lohan is up to her old tricks again. After a night out on the town, she apparently wasn’t able to make the Glee call time (she showed up late). I wonder how Dot Marie Jones feels about Lohan’s late arrival? Oh wait, we don’t have to wonder, she was tweeting!

via TMZ:
Lindsay Lohan was late this morning for her guest appearance on “Glee” … following a night out on the town. Coincidence?
Dot Marie Jones — who plays Coach Beiste on the show — tweeted, “Gonna be a long day!! Some ppl show up late and just throw a wrench in things. Not cool! I’d rather be an hour early (I was) than 5 minutes late!”
Dot didn’t say who was late, but we’ve confirmed the person MIA was LiLo.

I love twitter. Honestly, what was the world before twitter? Please don’t even talk about that world, it frightens me thinking we had to live our waking moments without knowing every little detail of a celebrities feelings.

So Lindsay Lohan still sucks. And not in the good way. That’s the moral of Jones’ tweet. Of course I am sure the Lohan excuse will involve late night escapades whereas although surrounded by mass quantities of blow and booze, she had none of it. And she just happened on being late because someone gave her the incorrect call time, although the rest of the cast got lucky by being late to the wrong call time which inevitably made them on time for call time. Yeah, that’s how this will roll.

I would totally still hit it though. That needs to be said. Enjoy your Thursday and click the pictures as many times as you want, I got a special hosting deal that offers unlimited Lohan picture clips.

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Lindsay Lohan, another fight, just another night.

lindsay lohan, fight, smoke and mirrors, hollywood, standard hotel, cleavage,

Lindsay Lohan is doing her absolute best to make sure her probationary period is constantly in question. And apparently, she’s ruining her clubbing rep by bringing good ole’ dad to the club. Apparently Lindsay was at the Hollywood club, Smoke and Mirrors, which is located in The Standard Hotel, when Lindsay thought some girl bumped her and she got all hard and ghetto on the girl. Lindsay of course had to make sure her street cred wasn’t challenged by someone getting away with a dirty bump. But of course, Lindsay forgot that her club cred was going to take a dump when she brought papa Lohan to the club.

Via TMZ: We’re told the girl was hanging out at the booth next to Lindsay’s … when Lohan tapped her on the shoulder aggressively and asked, “Did you bump into me?”
The girl denied the bump … and suggested the real culprit could have been one of the guys in Lindsay’s group. She then pointed to one of the men.
Lindsay replied, “That’s my dad … why would he bump me?”
The girl shot back, “You go clubbing with your dad?”
That’s when Lindsay snapped … so says the witness … who claims Lindsay began cussing at the girl and then threw a drink at her face.

This incident sounds like someone took the show My Sweet Sixteen and dumped it in the middle of Jersey Housewives. It’s not like Lindsay to let anyone have a bump from her in a club, either. Get it? Bump. Club. Lindsay Lohan. Amanda Bynes. Oh wait, did I just say that? Amanda is going to be really upset at me.

Its really great to see Lindsay doing the best she can to be a model clubbing citizen, lets just hope her nightclub rep doesn’t take anymore hits. Its hot in LA this week, therefore I present thee with pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s cleavage at a gas station, shaded by a stupid old woman’s plantation hat.

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Lindsay Lohan putting probation behind her.

lindsay lohan, tmz, probation, court,

Lindsay Lohan is now off probation. Well, kinda off. You be the judge. Get it? You, the judge? Wow I am so funny.

via TMZ: The judge took Lindsay off probation altogether in what herhonor called “the endless” 2007 DUI case. If Lindsay had not completed the terms of her probation, Judge Sautner could have sentenced her to 270 days in the pokey. When the judge terminated probation, Lindsay cracked a big smile and breathed a huge sigh of relief.
As for the necklace heist case, Judge Sautner said Lindsay completed community service at the morgue, therapy and the shoplifter’s course — so her formal probation is now informal probation, and all Lindsay has to do is OBEY ALL LAWS for the next 2 1/2 years. Sautner said, “I know it’s kinda hard when people are following you all of the time, but that’s the life you chose.”

Translation, Lindsay’s license to party has been reinstated, but not fully. Just with less privileges. The main issue in this is that Lindsay somehow needs to find a way to party without breaking the law. I feel like she needs a life / party coach. I am available for a small fee and some killer jewelry.

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Lindsay Lohan pays men to have sex with her.

Lindsay Lohan, pornstar, korea town, sex

Lindsay Lohan apparently paid a pornstar to bang her one night, which is awesome on so many levels. So the pornstar goes by the name of VooDoo. Of course he does.

via RadarOnline:
“Ask him [Michael Lohan] if he knows about that night I had with his daughter while he was sleeping upstairs,” Voodoo says. “I’m not joking!”
Not only does Voodoo claim to have had “relations” with Lindsay, but he makes it sound like she paid him.
“Many of these Hollywood celebrities pay me a high price dollar to come and satisfy them. I’m not joking!” he says.
To clarify, host Jim Richards says, “So you’ve been with Lindsay Lohan?”
“I’m saying that,” Voodoo confirms.

I may have to wrap this post up pretty quickly as I am clearing my schedule right now, the launch of my jiggilo playa playa website is imminent. Lots to do, lots to do. I have to get my pricing model and shopping cart ready, as well, the lighting on some of my self pics I took in my bathroom mirror could use some after effects.

On another note, these pictures are from the KoreaTown district in Los Angeles, where the morgue is located. That’s Lindsay doing probation work.

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Lindsay Lohan did party after her probation was set.

lindsay lohan, probation, court, tmz

Surprise, surprise, Lindsay Lohan did party it up after her probation was set. So, all those that assumed she remained hermetic in her place only communicating with nuns whom she funded to take to the streets of LA helping the homeless eat and learn better skills for life, were totally wrong. Check this out from TMZ.

via TMZ:
According to our sources, the latest incident prompted people close to Lindsay to beg her to stop going out at night until her probation is over. We’re told Lindsay agreed and will now only leave her house when she really has to … like for her court ordered community service at the morgue.

So now we can expect she will only leave her house when Voyeur Nightclub is desperately seeking someone to polish off an open bottle of champagne before it goes bad and the club has to take the loss. Because that’s how this girl rolls.

I’d still hit it, so there’s that.

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Lindsay Lohan goes back to being red head.

lindsay lohan, today show, red head

Last week the Today Show was talking about how hot Lindsay used to look and showing pics of her in her younger days. In those pictures she was red headed. So I guess she thought going back to being fire crotch friendly would be the right move. Here are some pictures of her in Beverly Hills showing off the new look to photographers. After her Saturday Night Live bomb, anything seems worth a shot. For the record, I liked her on SNL, but the reviews were absurdly poor. Haterz!

Enjoy the pictures. She’s still a hottie by my standards. But I’m a drunk slob, so there’s that.

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Lindsay Lohan claims to be homebody now. Chubby cheeks disagree.

lindsay lohan, bloating,

“That’s not my thing anymore. I went out, actually, a few months ago with a friend. And I was so uncomfortable. Not because I felt tempted, just because it was just the same thing that it always was before. And it just wasn’t fun for me. I’ve become more of a homebody. And I like that.

Um, not so sure on this, she pretty much looks like Jim Morrison in his late years. Remember the scene in the movie, The Doors, at the end when he is holding the balloons for kids and he all round and bloated? Well, here is that. I’m pretty sure she’s been out a lot, Oscar parties, staying at Chateau Marmont…I want to be on the same “homebody” regimen that she’s on!

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Photographer makes Lindsay Lohan look hot.

Lindsay Lohan, cover shoot, thong

Famed fashion photographer Terry Richardson just made Lindsay Lohan look hot as hell, and that really hasn’t been easy considering her partying schedule. But this is pretty hot. She’s definitely bangable right here. I’d talk about her upcoming projects but I think that’s just more court hearings or something of the sort. So lets just enjoy the hot Lohan pictures.

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