Lindsay Lohan’ recent arrest warrant, according to TMZ, doesn’t exactly hold up.

Here’s why an arrest warrant was issued. Lindsay was in an alcohol ed program for more than a year and was in full compliance with her probation. Sources say not too long ago she decided to switch programs. She either was late or missed one of the classes at the new program — she says because the paparazzi made it impossible for her to show up on schedule. So the program director sounded the alarm last week to the court. And that’s why the judge issued a warrant.

So the paparazzi is to blame? Did she miss the class?

Lindsay Lohan’s body is now being used by scientist at the FDA to determine what combination of products causes the body to just rot away. A regimine of Red Bull, Cigarretes and White Wine will be administered to Lohan for the next several days. Scientist are confident that her body should be fully rotted away or resemble Courtney Love within days.

Check out more of Lindsay Lohan’s London trip pictures.

So its tough trying to determine whether Lindsay Lohan or Samantha Ronson is the most psychotic. Until now. Believe it or not, Samantha made that determination for us this weekend at an LA nightclub when she dedicated a super-fied-stalker song to Lindsay. Check out these lyrics.

During the acoustic concert at Genghis Cohen in L.A., Sam got “awwwws” from the crowd when she told ‘em “This is for Lindsay,” but the song included lyrics like “I’ll follow you out of control … I’m falling after you, in and out of love.” In her dedication Sam also said “You get your heart broken sometimes and then you unbreak it and break it again.”
Linds was there — sitting front row with a digital camera — and said the song made her mad.

Samantha followed up saying she would eat a piece of Lindsay’s flesh and followed that up by saying she planned to make a wonderful exotic lampshade out of her flesh as well. Um….well….it makes sense, you know? Check out more pictures of this pyscotic super-duo.

Linday Lohan’s dad doesn’t like Samantha Ronson, and now he is asking for your help in breaking them up. Check out his blog.

Like I said in the past, “if I see or hear of anyone or anything causing harm or is seen as a threat to my children,” I will speak about it, and do anything I can to try to intervene regardless of the repercussions on me.
With that said, after seeing promise and thanking God for Lindsay’s freedom from SaMANtha’s bondage, I see now, that since SaMANtha has once again, weaseled her way back into Lindsay”s life, things have taken a dark turn.
While I was enthused that Ali was with Lindsay, rather than SaMANtha, I am torn to see that SaMANtha has once again manipulated Lindsay into leaving her little sister in LA, only to join SaMANtha on another DJ gig in Boston.
Was this again, a means for SaMANtha to earn more money through Lindsay”s presence? Did SaMANtha’s fee drop so much and so quickly when word got out that they parted ways? Are we so blind? Is Lindsay so blind? I know Dina and my kids aren’t because they tell me so. But then again, why does Dina tell me one thing and do another?!
When a mother or father sees their child in turmoil (losing weight, not working, and purportedly cutting herself) are we supposed to stand by , remain silent and pretend it isn’t happening? Or are we suppose to step to the plate and not care what people think, and do something about it?
Well, as you can see, I’m not going to sit back and let it slide.
I am asking everyone out their to intervene in every way possible to help Lindsay, and quite possibly, save her life. Help this wonderful, good hearted and gifted young lady to see what SaMANtha is doing to her and how she is destroying her life.
Help her to see that ever since SaMANtha came into her life, nothing good has come of it. As a matter of fact, Lindsay hasn’t used her gifts like she did before meeting SaMANtha. Just LOOK! The proof is there! These aren’t just words, but FACTS! PLEASE HELP!

I on the other hand am reaching out to all of my readers to help Michael out by finding a way to shut off his Internet Connection, because this is just brutal. And maybe sign him up for a writing class.

Lindsay Lohan did a photoshoot the other day, and then she she evaporated into a carbless plume of vapors. Well, according to her assistant, she tried to eat her way into density before hand. From Page Six.

Responding to rumors we heard that Lohan is “surviving on candy and Red Bull” and “completely stressed out” by her rocky relationship with Samantha Ronson, her flack in sisted she’s fine: “Lindsay is aware that she’s lost some weight due to stress, but we recently did a photo shoot and she ate two full meals.”

Good job assistant, you sound like a total idiot. Man that girl is skinny, but…yeah….I’d still hit it. More pictures from the Lindsay Lohan photoshoot.

Lindsay Lohan went shopping with her sister yesterday in Malibu, and it appears that her turbulent relationship with fraud-lesbian-girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, has taken its toll on her body. It appears she isn’t really eating much anymore. Or maybe its the nose candy? All the same, I’d still….yeah, you know. What can I say? I like girls with all kinds of whacked out problems.

In a continued effort to become less relevant and equally less interesting as Heidi and Spencer, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have been spotted together again. This time in Beverly Hills. Apparently Lindsay’s lesbohiatus didn’t last for all that long. And Samantha realized that without Lindsay, those big DJ appearances will lose luster, and profits. So really, it only made since to get back together. So when’s the next big fight? I would guess that its less than 24 hours away.

Reports are now surfacing on TMZ that the recent flurry of fights that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have publicly displayed have now led to a serious break up. Supposedly, the two lesbians are living separately now.

We know Lindsay moved out of Sam’s house and is staying with Jen, her manager. Lindsay wants back with Sam. Are they back together — who knows? Did they split? Yes.

Eventually, they all come back to my team. All kidding aside, I am really sad for the two of them. I mean, those big bashing fights caught on camera really made a many mornings for me. What to do now? So how long do you all think until Lindsay is hooking up with some skateboarder or surfer? I say one week. Drop me a comment with your thoughts.

Lindsay Lohan rang in the New Year by putting on a bikini and hanging out on South Beach in Florida. And she doesn’t look half bad. Nice body, but a bit much on the freckles. Nice to see pictures of Lindsay surface where she isn’t in a bar drinking. Check out the rest of these Lindsay Lohan pictures.

Lindsay Lohan’s whacko father apparently gave Lindsay a new relative. Lindsay updated her always relevant and deep Myspace blog by saying that her dad had a baby with a broad he cheated on his mom with.

i think that people go through a lot in life. and the things that we go through, whatever they may be, simply just make us stronger in the long run… that is, if we actually take what it is we have learned from our mistakes and teach ourselves what NOT to do in the future. i have gone through a lot in my past, and to be completely honest, i am still going through a lot right now.. my father just let my family and i know, amongst others that he had another child after my little sister Aliana, or maybe he had it before Aliana?? either way, he cheated on my mother and that really sucks… MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! wow- do i sound like “debbie downer” or what? not trying to be… but back to the real reason for this blog-i feel like Britney Spears is an amazing talent, and she has gone through a lot, (just as i have) in the public eye.. which is not necessarily a bad thing.. It teaches young girls and boys that there are certain things in life that you should not let get in the way of your dreams and accomplishments. also that you need to take care of yourself before anyone else, and i mean anyone and everyone else. because at the end of the day, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and see who you really are. stripped of all the distractions in life. so YAY Britney for just being you and still following through with your dreams. i know i am a bit late in writing about this record since it came out already, but better late than never!!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Lindsay is much for punctuation.