Michelle Rodriguez christens the country of France with her bikini body.

michelle rodriguez, cannes, bikinis

Talk about the perfect blend of sexy and scarey, that’s what these Michelle Rodriguez pictures are. Sexy because her hard bikini body rocks. Scarey because she keeps jumping from things and I keep getting scared she may hurt herself.

Then again, the consummate opportunist in me thinks I do give some damn good CPR. Because that’s how I roll, always ready and willing to throw down a little tongue protruding CPR on a hot actress in a bikini on a beach that has fallen and can’t get up. I am a trained professional. My training includes rigorous run throughs using a blowup Hustler doll that I got at a garage sale in Downtown LA. If that’s not sacraficing for the greater good, I just don’t know what is then. A used blowup doll. I make out with it. All to save lives in the event that a bikini model takes a nasty tumble. My mission is clear, folks: Save bikini models lives. One day I will be called upon to do a great favor for the world, and because of Betsy (the garage sale doll’s name), I will be ready to take on the favor like a soldier storming the beaches of Normandy. Only this would be the beaches of Cannes or Malibu and there wouldn’t be gun fire, mostly just security likely attempting to escort me from the state ran beach.

But that’s neither here nor there. Please enjoy Michelle Rodriguez in a bikini.

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