Kim and Kourtney Kardashian in bikinis

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Kourtney Kardashian’ fully expecting belly was no match for sister Kim Kardashian’s fully expecting ass, when both sisters wore bikinis down in the Dominican Republic. The great things about these pics at that they seem to be legit creepy, in other words, not set up by Kim’s camp to make her ass look airbrushed. Personally, I’m still totally into things, it says a lot that her un airbrushed backside sanctuary is still a bliss when its not a staged shoot. Nothing to hate on here. Oh yeah, Kim’s ex, Kris Humphries, is still ticked and turned down a load of cash in exchange to try to force Kim into admitting she married him for shady publicity. Looks like Kim and her trunk are in a corner right now. Oh yeah, Kourtney is in here, so there is that.

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Jennifer Nicole Lee showers off on beach

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What’s a little sand on a hot model body when there are beach showers everywhere? Jennifer Nicole Lee, the former fat tie, got some sand in her hot crack and was able to shower it off as she continues her Miami beach bikini tour. Jennifer is known as an inspirational and motivational figure for losing a load of weight. So now she showers in public on beaches, that’s quite the turn around. She’s also a mom, so there is that. A rocking’ body mom that used to be big. I may cry. This is a tender moment. Enjoy her pictures, I’d hit it.

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Paris Hilton gets paid a cool million to open Australian club

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Australia apparently didn’t get the memo that Paris Hilton is well, out. This evidenced by their Sydney Marquee Nightclub paying the heiress 1 million dollars to hang out at their nightclub’s opening and trick Aussies into thinking that she hangs out at this place. That’s awesome, its like, Asutralia is in a time warp that is behind like 5 years or so. What an enterprise miss Hilton has going however, 1 million dollars just to show up and dance awkwardly with a flute of champaign and smile at other patrons as if its the best party of her life? Just when you thought this show was on its last leg, it finds Crocodile Dundee as an agent and revives everything. What’s next, a tribal dance house in Kenya?

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Joanna Krupa plays beach volleyball

Joanna Krupa, Model, 2012 model beach volleyball tournament, 2012

Joanna Krupa participated in the 2012 model beach volleyball tournament. I don’t know if Joanna is good at volleyball, but what I do know is that she was the FHM Sexiest Swimsuit Model in the world at one point in her career, and really, should anything else matter? She’s that hot. By the way, those breast are real. I have some balls I’d like to let her play with. Sorry for the visual that includes myself, you have your own imagination, use it. You might also remember her and Terrell Owens on the show, Superstars, where they sucked it up at first, being eliminated, then got to come back and did pretty well. She also did Dancing With the Stars. Joanna is polish. Ok, ok, time to get to the pictures, that’s all that really matters here, right? Enjoy. Oh and try to have a good monday.

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Bikini finds pregnant Uma Thurman willing to wear it.

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Uma Thurman wore a bikini on a yacht in St. Barts. She’s pregnant, and her breast have obviously taken to the pregnancy. Her boobs look as though they are reading from a prison break script: the bikini being the prison. The boobs being the wrongly imprisoned busting out at first opportunity. Man I hate metaphors after that disaster. I think its very safe to assume that Uma will snap back after the little one joins the child Hollywood socialite circles. A team of nannies and personal trainers and nutritionist will be in play to assist the effort. I want to be rich so I can do this. Wait, I’m a guy. Yuck. I just made myself sick. I am going to go back and look at Uma’s boobs some more. I suggest you do the same as well, there are tons of pictures.

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Lindsay Lohan putting probation behind her.

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Lindsay Lohan is now off probation. Well, kinda off. You be the judge. Get it? You, the judge? Wow I am so funny.

via TMZ: The judge took Lindsay off probation altogether in what herhonor called “the endless” 2007 DUI case. If Lindsay had not completed the terms of her probation, Judge Sautner could have sentenced her to 270 days in the pokey. When the judge terminated probation, Lindsay cracked a big smile and breathed a huge sigh of relief.
As for the necklace heist case, Judge Sautner said Lindsay completed community service at the morgue, therapy and the shoplifter’s course — so her formal probation is now informal probation, and all Lindsay has to do is OBEY ALL LAWS for the next 2 1/2 years. Sautner said, “I know it’s kinda hard when people are following you all of the time, but that’s the life you chose.”

Translation, Lindsay’s license to party has been reinstated, but not fully. Just with less privileges. The main issue in this is that Lindsay somehow needs to find a way to party without breaking the law. I feel like she needs a life / party coach. I am available for a small fee and some killer jewelry.

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Megan Fox reportedly pregnant

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So the title says it all, Megan Fox is reportedly pregnant.

via RadarOnline:
“They just found out and are incredibly excited,” a source close to the couple told Star, noting that the pregnancy was unexpected.
However, it’s unlikely the Transformers actress will be going public with the news just yet, as the source says: “It’s still early, so they are only telling close friends and family members.”

And I just updated my list. Yep, I have a list. Basically, my list is people I’d fight in a cage match decided by death if a reality show for this existed. My list would look like this:

1) Brian Austin Green
2) No one else

This is horrendous news. How does something like this happen to such a hot girl? Oh yeah, sex. My UFC blood is boiling further now.

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LA Confidential shoot with hottie Jessica Alba

jessica alba, photo shoot, LA Confidential magazine,

Jessica Alba is still hot. She’s popped out like 2 kids already, right? I want what she’s having. Wait, that’s probably estrogen, breast milk and some beef stick personal trainer. Scratch that, I don’t want what she’s having, but I don want her delivered to me in a tub full of roses and bubbles (specifically Mr. Bubbles and I want the lavender bottle in clear view by the tub). Oh stop, don’t act like you don’t have your “things.” These pictures from the LA Confidential magazine shoot are full on dance in my pants sexy. She really has to be the hottest thing going in Hollywood, its like, she just can’t take a bad picture. She never gets old. I want to father kids with her. And do things that involve Mr. Bubbles. You go Jessica Alba. Everyone enjoy the hot pictures.

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Rhian Sugden, see through lingerie, your best Friday ever.

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Meet Rhian Sugden. She’s a model. If you hadn’t figured that out already, you should probably stop reading this blog. You just need to know crap like that off the cuff. When you see a model, you know a model. Anyways, here is something great, Rhian used to be a network administrator in London before she somehow figured out that she was the hottest network admin dork on planet earth. Imagine the office she worked in. I am sure everyone was always like “does she know how freaking hot she is?” I wonder if any sys admin dudes got lucky? She’s appeared in Maxim and The Sun. She’s a page 3 girl. These photos are pretty much awesome, its see through lingerie. So basically I am giving you nude photos of Rhian Sugden. I better get a freaking Christmas card from you people this season. Seriously…

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Rihanna goes blonde wig in London

Rihanna, Mandarin Hotel, London, Tight dress, see through dress, blonde wig

Rihanna is just now getting off of Ashton Kutchter. I mean getting off from Ashton Kutcher. I mean … getting away from the Ashton Kutcher drama. Sorry, I’m just not in blogger mode this morning, long night. And probably a long night for Rihanna. With Ashton Kutcher. Ok, I’m now officially addicted to Rihanna and Ashton Kutcher hooking up, which she continues to deny. This morning I have pictures of her rocking a blonde wig in London. She’s apparently staying at the Mandarin Hotel. I have never been there, because I am a broke blogger and broke bloggers don’t stay at fancy hotels in London. Great, now I’m depressed. Not only is a douchebag like Ashton Kutcher hooking up with a hottie like Rihanna, but I am also not able to stay at the Mandarin Hotel in London. I hope that you all enjoy the pictures.

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