The show Extra was absolutely fascinating, once again, thanks to Maria Menounsos incredibly sultry and sexy curves, full on displayed by a tight sophisticated modern woman dress. She’s so hot it sometimes makes me actually want to turn the volume of my TV set on when Extra is on, but I am still to afraid to risk ruining the mood. I actually have a telescope set up in the room adjacent which I use to watch the show when Maria is on so that it seems like I am actually peeking in on her. Whoa, that’s creepy s@#t right there. I issue an immediate apology and assure you all that I was just kidding. Although I did write this post looking through the telescope because I am awesome like a circus monkey. Enjoy these pictures.
Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and perennial favorite every year to win the “hottest Danish chick” award, Nina Agdal, went bikini time down in Miami on South Beach. She had lots of things to pick up on the beach, which meant lots of pictures of her bent over in said bikini. Nina is like what happens when total innocence meets extremely hot meets adult movie director….oh wait, that last part was just part of this dream I was having the other night. It was a crazy dream, basically…ok, probably not a good idea to go there. She’s like 20. And perfect.
Ah, the struggles of being a new teen mom. Having a difficult dating life. Trouble making algebra class because you are in labor. Missing making out at the movies with a football player because you have to sit at home watching Elmo with your baby. And of course, having small breast.
via E! Online:
She got tired of having small breasts. Jenelle decided on a full ‘C’ cup because she does not want to go too big.
Its always nice to see a teen mom take some initiative and get out there and solve her own problems rather than sitting around and complaining about them. I can only imagine the difficult time one must have when they are trying to be a mother to a little kid, all the while having these average sized breast. The world is such a touch place to bear on the daily.
Here are some pictures of Jenelle Evans in her polo shirt, small breast hidden away as not to offend you viewers.
Nothing like some good morning stretching peppered with a little oxymoron. Miley Cyrus was capable of hitting up her local pilates class, but seemingly incapable of walking too far a distance to get there. Cyrus made use of the handicap spot at her pilates place, then went inside and did pilates. I will take things that make complete sense for $100, Alex. The good news is that doing pilates brought out her yoga pants, which is always exciting in and of itself. West Hollywood parking enforcement had no comment when my staff called. Ok, I don’t really have a staff, but it felt pretty awesome for that one second which I pretended that I did. The thought of me having a crack team of reporters posting up at all the handicap spots in West Hollywood is something I salivate over.
Lindsay Lohan apparently paid a pornstar to bang her one night, which is awesome on so many levels. So the pornstar goes by the name of VooDoo. Of course he does.
“Ask him [Michael Lohan] if he knows about that night I had with his daughter while he was sleeping upstairs,” Voodoo says. “I’m not joking!”
Not only does Voodoo claim to have had “relations” with Lindsay, but he makes it sound like she paid him.
“Many of these Hollywood celebrities pay me a high price dollar to come and satisfy them. I’m not joking!” he says.
To clarify, host Jim Richards says, “So you’ve been with Lindsay Lohan?”
“I’m saying that,” Voodoo confirms.
I may have to wrap this post up pretty quickly as I am clearing my schedule right now, the launch of my jiggilo playa playa website is imminent. Lots to do, lots to do. I have to get my pricing model and shopping cart ready, as well, the lighting on some of my self pics I took in my bathroom mirror could use some after effects.
On another note, these pictures are from the KoreaTown district in Los Angeles, where the morgue is located. That’s Lindsay doing probation work.
Reese Witherspoon was seen roaming around Brentwood on her pink phone, probably talking big time Hollywood important business with some high powered agent about things we minions would never really comprehend. That kinda power playa talk is too hardcore for us to fathom. Or she was just like, “yes I’m pregnant.”
via US Weekly:
“Reese is right around 12 weeks,” one source explains, adding that the This Means War star is “not planning to announce it.”
The baby-to-be will join older siblings Ava, 12, and Deacon, 8, Witherspoon’s kids with first husband Ryan Phillippe, from whom she split in 2006 after 7 years of marriage. Pals of Witherspoon and high-powered CAA agent Toth, 41, aren’t shocked by the happy news. “Reese and Jim have been trying to get pregnant,” one pal says.
I think the pictures were pretty much a dead giveaway, not as if we needed the confirmation. With summer coming up, an inability to wear big button down jackets and a growing bundle of Witherspoon love is going to make this a pretty tough hide.
This weekend, NOBU sushi of London announced an update upgrade to their menu called Katy Perry’s Fantastic and Spicy Boobs. They are pictured below leaving the London establishment in full robust form. I don’t have to even try them to tell you that I’d willingly enjoy them. And now that Russell Brand is not peppered all over them, maybe I have a shot at trying them. Ok, how in all LA LA land am I being now? As if my spiel about her boobs being a new delish dish at NOBU, I went even further by conjuring up some silly idea that I have a chance at wrangling in Katy’s boobs. Pure and utter silliness. I have to enjoy them the same way that every other man in this world has to enjoy them: by creeping through these pictures, closing my eyes, and picturing them falling out in some crap hole apartment that I live in. Enjoy all the pictures.
This just in: January Jones has had sex with a man. How do I know? Actually, not sure how I know. Oh wait, she is carrying HER baby, Xander, through an airport. The “airport” being the lesser important piece of evidence here. In case you don’t know, January Jones plays sexy housewife and revenge cheater Betty Draper on the hit show, Mad Men, which is set to debut in a 2 hour gig on March 24th. Betty has 3 kids. Betty is a fake character who is married to fake husband, Jon Hamm. So that’s all ok. Betty Draper is the hottest housewife ever if you ask me, even beating out Eva Longoria’s character on Desperate Housewives. Enjoy all the pictures.
Surprise, surprise, Lindsay Lohan did party it up after her probation was set. So, all those that assumed she remained hermetic in her place only communicating with nuns whom she funded to take to the streets of LA helping the homeless eat and learn better skills for life, were totally wrong. Check this out from TMZ.
According to our sources, the latest incident prompted people close to Lindsay to beg her to stop going out at night until her probation is over. We’re told Lindsay agreed and will now only leave her house when she really has to … like for her court ordered community service at the morgue.
So now we can expect she will only leave her house when Voyeur Nightclub is desperately seeking someone to polish off an open bottle of champagne before it goes bad and the club has to take the loss. Because that’s how this girl rolls.
I’d still hit it, so there’s that.
Michael Bay’s girlfriend, or chick he bangs, whatever, was seen sunbathing topless in Miami. This is awesome news, because, well, Lauren Stoner is ridiculously hot. You could bounce quarters off her butt, no doubt about it. Actually, her butt is like the explosions Michael Bay creates in all of his movies. Her breast “transform” the way my day starts. Wow, I’m sure lame right now. Call me captain pun. Its tough being so incredibly gifted when it comes to wit, but I do go on in my struggle. Don’t let Monday get you down, enjoy Lauren Stoner’s bare boobs.