If you were able to put on some special Chris Brown glasses, this is what your world would look like with them on: A basically nude Rihanna. You might also see things like attorneys and Twitter hates, but that is neither here nor there, because all that matters is that Rihanna went to Giorgio Baldi restaurant in LA wearing a mesh see through dress and bra. And that my friends, is awesome weekend making type of news.

Let me tell you something right now, Rihanna has as tight of body as it gets. Ashton Kutcher must feel dumb this morning? Let me get this straight, so Ashton basically dates a woman almost twice his age in Demi Moore, marries her, and sticks it out for many years. Then he gets hot tail like Rihanna and tosses it to the curb in a matter of minutes? I guess he really does crave those in-depth and meaningful conversations. Bless his punk’d heart.

Enjoy these hot pictures of Rihanna in the almost nude.

Let’s hypothetically pretend that your Saturday morning is absolutely awful right now. Your coffee taste stale. That chick you met last night at the bar won’t leave and she ain’t as hot as she was when you were dancing with her on the bar at that Cabo Booze Bar place. You can’t find your credit card.

Now lets change that. And quickly.

Enter Rhian Sugden’s naked boobs. Seriously, this is absolutely amazing. This shoot is done by M. White for Body and Mind. I have no idea what Body and Mind is. I have never heard of M. White. But what I will say is that Mr. White is welcome into my little LA apartment anytime he wants. Full lifetime pass. Because for what he has done, he has shooke’th the world. He has changed the fate of men’s Saturdays everywhere. In a way, he has united us, but taking pictures of Rhian Sugden topless. These boobs are absolutely amazing. And of course, this post is not safe for work. It’s also not safe for blood pressure. Deal with it, folks.

I’m going to start this blissful Friday off with a heavy dose of truth: I have no idea who Karina Derizans is other than she is like on some show in Miami called The Catalina and, well, she’s mega-freaking-hot in a bikini. The latter of that being the substance of reasoning for why she is on this post. Check out her Karina’s Twitter, seems no one else really knows who the heck she is either (79 at time of post). Really does seem a crime that a girl this incredibly sexy in a bikini would have a Twitter with over 1800 tweets into the Interweb’s universe and only 79 folks care? What the hell has this world come to? This makes me want the world to end like one of those Will Smith apocalypse movies where we all just get blown away! Or wait, maybe that is just how they start? I never make it to the end of them, I have better things to do, like stalk incredibly hot model ass like Karina Derizans.

So these pictures (that is what is important here, right?), I have to ask, is this the tightest butt ever? Literally, you could bounce a coin off of it, or even a small reptile (if you were into that). I am not into that, but whatever floats your boat (or Karina’s, in which case I am totally into it). I am a man of many exceptions when it comes to babes like Karina Derizans. I may even watch the show, who the heck knows? That is if I can find it, I couldn’t even google the damn thing. Someone that is working on that show and it’s social media should be fired!

Enjoy the pictures.

This is pure awesome, LeAnn Rimes continues to spiral down the tubes of pathetic-ville at an alarming rate. So, LeAnn Rimes had an affair with Eddie Cibrian and eventually married him. Eddie was originally with current Housewives of Beverly Hills star, Brandi Glanville. Of course, Brandi got all hacked off when she found out that LeAnn was banging her hubby (imagine that), so Brandi and LeAnn have been comic book mortal enemies now for what seems like ages. Well the two fight all the time in the media and I guess LeAnn didn’t like Brandi telling Australian media that she’d like to kill LeAnn…so…LeAnn went to the gun range and got some Dirty Harry pictures of herself and posted them on Twitter.

Pedro offers you his protection, LeAnn.

This is so silly, but totally worthy of posting. There are only 3 gun raging photos, but not to worry, to make up for how silly this is I have posted some older bikini photos of LeAnn to help break up the monotony of craziness found in this post. I really hope this helps. If it doesn’t, I am so sorry. Please don’t go to a gun range and post pictures to my Twitter. This is exactly why I don’t have Twitter, it’s just too scary.

I just can’t buy the Jennifer Lopez hot train. Look, she looks pretty good for her age (early 40s), but there is work done on this structure and I bet when you get close you can most certainly tell. Now she is doing this swimsuit shoot with Vogue magazine and we are all supposed to talk about how Jenny from the Block should still get my ____. Or how hot she still is. But here is the thing, look at the pictures, its like old school photoshopped, lighting induced, white light reflectors….there is just a lot going on here to make her look at hot as possible.

I feel like there is a change that Jennifer Lopez looks about as good as Steven Tyler at this point, but we just can’t know it because she has like an army of PR reps with a staff of photshoppers and white lighters all making sure that we never find out. Like I need some non-scripted shots here, like the Miley Cyrus coming out of Pilates stuff.

These are just too set up for my taste. Sure, she looks hot behind the desk on Idol. Sure, I’d like to have her behind my desk (ok, I am on my old couch because I don’t actually have a desk, but whatever, you get the point). But I just think this is all a massive Fox and Idol rouse. Its like Jennifer is the President of the United States, everything is so set up and intended to protect her PR.

But hey, what do I know, pictures are still sexy. So…..click away, folks.

Bo Derek. An American icon. One of the most iconic sex symbols ever to grace the pages of American culture. Classy.

Courtney Stodden. None of that.

Which is what makes the idea of Courtney Stodden doing a photo tribute to Bo Derek while wearing a bikini and turding up her hair in nasty braids makes this all the more completely absurd. This is like Spencer Pratt holding a cigar as a tribute to Jackie Gleason, he’d still be Spencer Pratt and we’d still know that (which is the big issue we are dealing with here). It’s Courtney Stodden…attention whore…it doesn’t go away. Plus, she just isn’t Bo Derek. Bo Derek was such a classic, walls of Shawshank, hotness. Courtney is like walls of gas station bathroom, back pages of street side rag mags with a number pinned to the top of the picture, hotness.

Both are hot. But both are so different. Immitation is the highest form of flattery? I don’t know, something tells me that Bo is either contemplating eating cyanide this morning or in reclusion somewhere unabomber style. Like dark shades and beard and all. And yes, Bo Derek with a beard is still better than Courntey Stodden without a beard.

So when does Lindsay Lohan do a tribute to Marilyn Monroe? Oh, wait…

Well look, lets end the hate. Enjoy the pictures.

Oh what a world we now live in. Mena Suvari allowed Simone Sestito to have sex with her amazing buttocks, then she cut the hook on him, and now he thinks he should get spousal support. That’s pretty rad. Of him.

via TMZ:
According to court docs filed earlier this week, Simone Sestito claims he has “negative balances” on all his personal and business accounts and has been forced to pay his bills with credit cards and loans from his parents.
Sestito claims Mena makes $750,000/year, which includes a terrible Captain Morgan ad campaign she did that netted her $225,000.
Sestito claims he got used to eating out “almost everyday at high end restaurants” and lists his estimated monthly eating out expense as a whopping $3,000/month. A Happy Meal every once in a while wouldn’t hurt!
Sestito is looking for $17,151/month in spousal support, plus an additional $10k for attorney fees.

This is pretty amazing stuff, I mean, this totally and completely changes the game for men that marry all over the good ole USA. This might make getting married for men a lot more enticing for sure. I may even revisit my ban on marrying hot celebrity women. Right now I am like, nah…I don’t need that crap in my life. But if this means I can eat at Spago 4 nights a week I am all in.

I love that this guy doesn’t have a job right now and owes his parents money. Its like he isn’t even trying to seem sulfa-sufficient. It’s like “hi judge, I suck, I need dolla dolla bills yo.” I can respect that. I mean, think about what women have done to men for centuries! Even Wilma probably made Fred keep supplying the bones. Well, in all fairness, he isn’t going to ever be giving Mena’s hot buttocks the bone anymore after this stunt…

Here are some Mena Suvari hot bikini photos. Please enjoy.

I love the US of A. I love Bruce Springsteen. In fact, after this post, I plan to listen to Bruce’s Born In The USA just to clean myself of what I am about to say. But facts are hard to deny. Sometimes….other countries are just better than us. And I am not just talking about food or timezones. I am talking straight up hotness.

So this club chick that always seems to pop up on the red carpets arrived at the red carpet German premiere for Men In Black 3. My God, she’s hotness in her thong and topless deal going on. It appears just some confetti separates us from complete and full on nipple shots.  Not to mention her amazing ass that makes the country of Brazil even a little jealous.

Sorry to say, but you’d never see a red carpet entrance this good in Hollywood. I mean, the best we have is that Jennifer Lopez weird green Versace dress incident and that wasn’t near this great.

So that’s that. Right now it’s time for you to stop filing or doing whatever horrible office work you have to do and check out Micaela Schaefer being super hot and sexy. Remember, you are doing this for the world. It makes you more cultured. Yeah, that’s it…

Oceana came out with a new wetsuit. The wetsuit is great for both surfing and diving and is made from a strong fabric that doesn’t let water in. Ok, it’s a wetsuit, of course water doesn’t get in. And really, that’s not what this post is about. Instead, its about Aimee Teegarden’s dry boobs that the wetsuit is clearly protecting.

Just so their is no misunderstanding, this blog is not a fashion blog, instead it’s a boob blog that talks about fashion only when it interrupts, or, as is the case this morning, accentuates boobs or buttocks of hot sexy models and celebrities and reality hoes. That pretty much sums up the experience here, or at least what the experience here should be.

In fact, lets just do a test real quick to find out whether or not you have what it takes to be worthy of reading this blog. Which of the following best describes how you feel right now:

1) Aimee Teegarden’s boobs look fantastic!
2) That wetsuit is sick, where can I purchase one?
3) I want to punch Spencer Pratt.

If you chose #2, you should leave now before things get way too awkward.

Fancy that, I just gave you a test. I hope you passed. If you did pass, your reward are these Aimee Teegarden sexy pictures.

Early mornings in New York City have never looked as good as they have this beautiful Tuesday morning when Australian model Nicole Trunfio could be seen wearing a super tight skirt for an H&M photoshoot. Who is Nicole Trunfio you ask?

I have no real idea. She was on some search for a model show in some desolate Australian place that probably uses Kangaroos as their main line of commuting. I know she models for a bunch of high end brands like Dolce & Gabbana and Valentino and of course, Victoria’s Secret. And I know she’s as hot as a McDonald’s coffee.

But I am not supposed to be an encyclopedia for the who’s who, more just an investigative journalist of sexy time. And I’d say I’m doing my job quite well.

So anyways, good morning and Happy Tuesday to everyone. You are probably sitting in some job that you hate and probably never happier to see Ms. Nicole Trunfio as you are now. I can understand. Maybe today is the day you should finally quit that job, tell your boss you just got off from the Internet and now you are running away to chase “your dream” which happens to be in Australia right now. And yes, “getting off,” intended pun, because I’m the awesome pun guy this morning.