Kristen Bell’s butt crack welcomes in Monday morning.

kristen bell, bike, ass, plumbers crack

Oh man, I am beat. Mother’s day weekend just took it out of me. Too much motherdaying for me. Just kidding, I love mom, so there wasn’t enough. But I did get megawasted while karaoke’ing to Lady Gaga. Hey, what did you do that was so great?

Don’t hate. Appreciate.

Kristen Bell took a lovely bike ride around Los Angeles this weekend. What, she doesn’t have a car? Kristen I can give you a ride if that’s what you need, believe me, I am down. Anyways, it actually worked out well for us that may be in a Monday morning slum because we can see her but crack. Which is a lot more Kristen Bell butt then we are used to seeing, particularly on a Monday morning. At first glance you may well think that string around her lower back is a thong connector, but oh no, Kristen Bell doesn’t wear no thong. She went commando and made Monday morning so much better for us. Let’s take a moment and thank Ms. Kristen Bell for not wearing any panties.

I still love the Kristen Bell that goes down on Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (uncut version) the mostest, but this one is pretty awesome also.

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Kim Kardashian’s boobs help Lakers win game 7.

lakers, kim kardashian, kanye west, boobs, cleavage

The Lakers were under fire for their waning performance against the Denver Nuggets in the playoffs. They were pushed to a game 7 match and the blame game was going around.

“Kobe needs to step up!”

“Bynum needs to stop being lazy!”

“Laker fans need to actually show up on time!”

Instead, the Lakers deployed their most secretive of weapons. They placed Kim Kardashian’s amazing cleavage courtside. So amazing was that cleavage that the Lakers went on to win the game and people hardly noticed douchebag and game companion and boyfriend and homewrecker, Kanye West. So I don’t want to spend much time on him, if that’s ok with you. If it’s not ok, place find another blog to read.

This might be Kim’s finest cleavage shots in a while, wow. She really did them “up” knowing they’d be featured prominently on national TV. So hot. These boobs look like they want to explode out on to the court and shoot a three pointer for the win.

I wonder what Kobe thought about them? Those boobs look like they’d be trouble for him. Enjoy all the Kim Kardashian boobs pictures.

Oh, and sorry to do this as I said I wouldn’t, but Kanye West looks like a chipmunk in these pictures. I sort of wish that Kris Humphries had been in this game so he could cold cock him for us all and do the world a favor. And the Internet. Which is basically the world.

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Maria Fowler and Gemma Massey rock amazing boobs

maria fowler, gemma massey, boobs, cleavage, london

I’m going to be totally honest, I am not completely sure who either of these broads actually are. I guess they are like British pin-up girls or something of that nature. Here is what I do know: It’s Sunday afternoon and the chance for it to rain boobs has turned into a total storm. I mean, Maria Fowler and Gemma Massey (if you actually care what their names are) have taken my Sunday by storm.

And hopefully yours as well.

Gemma’s boobs are actually shiny. This is amazing, almost like TV magic. Or DVD magic. Or Internet seedy website magic. Ok, come one, shiny boobs, shoot me!

All this is making me want to move to London, which is something I never expected from myself because I hate fog and fish-and-chips and stupid ferris wheels that are unnecessarily placed and that move The Queen. But this is all changing my mind quickly. In face, I may buy an umbrella today if I can find a place that sells them in Los Angeles. If it’s one thing that can change the way I think, it’s incredibly big shiny boobs.

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Christie Brinkley and Maria Menounos together. Frogs appear in mass.

christie brinkley, maria menounos, E,

The apocalypse is now upon us, complete with biblical resurrections and all that jazz. Christie Brinkley visited Maria Menounos on the set of E! in Los Angeles and literally, I could feel the earth shaking beneath my feet at the exact moment it was happening. Now, that could have been from the garbage trucks driving by my apartment (it was a Friday), but I think chances are it was the earth shaking violently from complete and utter hotness mixing together.

This shouldn’t be legal. How can you let hotness of these two statures just hang out and mix? You wouldn’t allow to powerful chemicals to mix without taking some sort of precaution, right? Like you don’t mix two pills? Ok, Charlie Sheen does, which is why he is likely the only guy on earth that could handle the hotness combination that is greek goddess Maria Menounos and Christie Brinkley.

How the heck does Christie Brinkley keep on keeping on with the sexy? I can hear Billy Joel’s piano behind me as I write this post. Sorry Billy, she’s gone. Maybe she is hooking up with Maria Menounos if it makes you feel better. It sure as hell just made me feel better.

In the pictures you will notice them coupling their hands together. Totally reminds me of the beginning of a porno movie. Believe me, this is pretty standard for porn movies. If anyone would know, it is me. See for yourself.

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Rita Ora uses blindfolded makeup artist.

rita ora, tight dress, eurovision your country needs you,

Rita Ora, famous for auditioning for the Eurovision Song Contest in 2009, apparently uses blindfolded makeup artist. Either that or she visits Ghettoland Makeup Disasters, because his is a travesty. She clearly has a super hot body as the tight dress reveals, but what is with that eye liner and lipstick? Oh man, I feel like a 12 year old kid drew on her face with crayolas while boozing on Jim Beam.

I know I sound mean, but she is really hot, no need to destroy such a work of art. This would be like someone dumping a load of martian sewage all over the grand canyon. How crappy would that be? Pun totally intended. But seriously this situation is mortifying.

She has a new single out. These pictures are her promoting it. And promoting crayola. But just look at her body in this rubber like tight dress, unreal. Too bad Driving Miss Daisy is in charge of doing her makeup.

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Jennifer Love Hewitt has legs.

jennifer love hewitt, the client list, lifetime, legs

So the other day I am watching Piers Morgan. I can’t stand that idiot but Jennifer Love Hewitt’s cleavage was making an appearance so I made an exception…as I often do for cleavage. What were they talking about? Yep, none other than her cleavage. Apparently when her show on Lifetime, The Client List, made billboards for the show, they actually photoshopped her boobs to be smaller. Yep, true story. A small part of me wants to go Jiu Jitsu on a graphic designer. I get that the designer was probably asked to do this, but still, calling it your job sure don’t make it right.

So these pictures of her out and about in a blazer and short dress prove that unlike common belief, Jennifer Love Hewitt does have legs. The rumor began circulating when people theorized that it wouldn’t be practical to believe that her boobs are responsible for her transporting herself from place to place. And now the proof is in the pudding of pictures. Legs. I always assumed she was composed completely of boobs. And i honestly think that’s what Piers Morgan thought as well.

And yes, I do watch The Client List sometimes. It’s hot. If you don’t think it’s a hot show, then you are not alive.

Enjoy all the Jennifer Love Hewitt sexy leg pictures.

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MET Gala red carpet hotties, lots of pics.

met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch,

Hey look, it’s the pictures from the MET Gala “fashion Oscars.” I have compiled a ton of pictures of the hottest celebrity women. And Tom Brady. But guess who is missing??? Where’s Waldo might you ask? Well Miss Kardashian was banned from attending the event at the MET Gala. I just laughed a little inside. There were all kinds of red carpet hotness going on at this NYC event, but I have some notes that might help serve as your tour guide through some of the pictures.

Tom Brady was rocking this really weird faux hawk but it was on one side of the head. Best way to describe it is to remember when you were in middle school and al the boys parted their hair on one side because it was rad to do. Tom Brady is rad.

Katherine McPhee was the hottest one in attendance. She’s a red carpet show stealer. Now that she has the show Smash, she’s all the rage and I expect her hotness in more places.

Kate Upton. Hot. Yes. Obvious.

January Jones is looking good again. She has snapped back nicely since the baby. Will she actually start appearing in Mad Men again? What happened? I need my Mrs. Draper fill, she’s the hottest housewife in the game.

Chloe Sevigny is kinda weird. But kinda hot. Remember when she did Kids? Whoa….blast from the past.

Please enjoy all the hotness in these pictures from the MET Gala.

met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch, met gala, january jones, beyonce, scarlett johansson, kate upton, cameron diaz, camilla belle, chloe sevigny, gwyneth paltrow, carey mulligan, marcus mumford, jessica chastain, paula patton, katherine mcphee, tom brady, gisele bundchen, abbie cornish, florene welch,

Sofia Vergara back on the market.

2012 Paley Festival, sofia vergara, single

There are certain things in life that when you hear them, you can’t help but get the butterflies in your stomach. Like when you heard man landed on the moon. Or like when you heard the earth is round (hey I am going way back to harken old days).

Then there are those times that the butterflies just skip the stomach area and move right down into the pants and start harkening other things.

via Page Six: Another source told us that Vergara and Loeb’s relationship stumbled under the pressure of her growing fame and popularity. Her success on “Modern Family,” and as host of “Saturday Night Live” — as well as her obvious sex appeal — has turned her into one of TV’s biggest female stars.
The couple met at a Golden Globes party in 2010. Vergara said in January that Loeb enjoys red-carpet events. “He loves my career,” said Vergara. “He likes coming to these events. For him, it’s like a hobby to be part of this Hollywood scene.”

I wonder what other “hobbies” this lucky soul had? I can think of a few “hobbies” I’d like to have with Ms. Vergara. This is such great news to waken to. It’s like, I come out of my Tara Reid at MTV Beach House too drunk to walk home so she has to crash on my futon dream and straight into this rad news. Life couldn’t be better.

Now I know what you are thinking, which is that you probably really don’t have a chance. Well that’s a poor attitude to have. Nothing some perfectly romantic stalking can’t resolve.

Oh, and reality sucks.

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Amber Heard walking in New York City

Amber Heard, Zombie Land, Pineapple Express, New York City

Like literally, I think that’s the entire story, “Amber Heard walking in New York City.” Well the former chick from Pineapple Express and a small part in Zombie Land is now in the movie, Drive Angry 3D” with Nicholas Cage, but that would be about it. Otherwise, this is just a lovely story about a super hot chick walking in Manhattan with model swagger.

And that makes me happy.

But you know what makes me a hell of a lot happier? This Nicholas Cage youtube. Its of him losing his shit in movies. Seriously, this is just pure bliss. If you haven’t seen it, you must watch it promptly after you absorb these Amber Heard sexy walking pictures. Because you would be insulting Amber by not doing such. But maybe you don’t care. In which case you are a really mean person and may Nicholas Cage screaming haunt you in your dreams.

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Kim Kardashian finds out MET Gala standard’s higher than White House.

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So Kim Kardashian got to roam the White House last week after being invited to the White House dinner (Lindsay Lohan included), but apparently the MET Gala has a higher standard for guest list.

via RadarOnline: “Anna hates Kim,” a source says. “Why would she be invited to the event? It is all the biggest stars in the world and Kim doesn’t fit that bill at all.”

“The Met Gala is $25,000 a ticket, but Kim can’t even buy her way in, Anna Wintour does NOT want her there!” the source says.
Kim and her very pregnant sister Kourtney Kardashian were snapped on Monday running errands in Los Angeles, and the source says she’ll likely try and justify her absence.
“Kim and her camp will deny that she wasn’t invited by saying that she had business in L.A., but that is a lie,” the source says. “She would of done anything to be there with all the A-listers.”

You almost have to just laugh at this point, first it is Jon Hamm making fun of her (though I guess he did make up with her on the set of the live 30 Rock), now she is not allowed to attend a major celebrity event. One has to wonder if this will be the start of something absolutley great, like events and places will pride themselves by banning Kim Kardashian. Like a 7-11 will deny her entry and then reap tons of publicity for it. But since Kanye showed up, does this mean Kim will now deny him entry?

Ok, a little too far I went there, but it’s a fair dirty question. Kim is also getting older. Fortunately her family just signed like a 40 million dollar reality TV deal so she can easily afford to buy herself some plastic surgery, which you just know has to be the next move.

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