Carmen Electra turns 40. Body turns 22.

carmen electra, birthday, tight dress, vegas, crazyhorse 3

Whoa…Carmen Electra turned 40. She had a 40th birthday party at the Crazyhorse 3 in Las Vegas and she showed up in a tight green dress looking super hot. It’s really unbelievable that she is 40 years old, her body looks only 22 at this point. She’s the hottest MILF around today.

Wait, can you be a MILF without officially having any children? The only child I recall her really having was babysitting Dennis Rodman, and that doesn’t really count as official motherhood. Its been over a decade since Electra was running the beaches of Los Angeles in a bikini in Baywatch, that’s amazing. And let’s not forget Playboy. And that weird Till Death Do Us Part show with Dave Navarro (that really wasn’t that long ago but I figure I need to throw it in there).

Whatever NASA team of beauticians Carmen has doing the work here, it’s working. Check out these hot pictures of Carmen Electra in her tight green dress.

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Miley Cyrus went to Disneyland, Bra sat this one out.

myley cyrus, disneyland, bra, stomach

Miley Cyrus is a home is where the heart is girl, she went to Disneyland this week. However after a lengthy debate, her bra was asked to stay back at home. As everyone already knows, Miley got her start in Disney and most of her movies come from the company, so it would only make sense that she would go boobs flailing to the wonderful world of magic and fantasy.

She got to hop on the rides as well, where she screamed like crazy. I have to say I went to Disneyland a few weeks ago and got on the same ride and didn’t get the same thrill AT ALL. I want my money back. I thought the place sucked. The only decent ride was the Indiana Jones ride, I swear I discovered the Ark in there.

Miley also flashes stomach at the family style theme park, making her a potential candidate for Satan. Because only Satan would scantily dress for Disneyland when they are like the park’s pop culture icon. Even Mickey Mouse was turned on, I heard he had to take a break or two during the day.

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Woody Allen goes for easy date, with Lindsay Lohan.

lindsay lohan, woody allen, philippe, manhattan

Woody Allen took Lindsay Lohan out for dinner this weekend. Hmmm…maybe since Scarlett Johansson is trying to find new bags to put all her Avengers money in, Allen is trying to find a new girl to work in his movies. Remember, the likes of Diane Keaton came from Woody Allen’s films, so Lindsay would do herself a huge favor by laying off the partying and taking up Woody on his potential offer.

Or, being there are two sides to every coin, and being that I am a professional journalist and must examine the every angles and be fair. Maybe Lindsay took Woody out to see if he would be interested in doing blow for the next year’s worth of time at Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood? You see how that works? Investigative journalism?

Phone calls to both Woody and Lindsay were not returned. Well, at least not returned by them. An actual investigator did call me and tell me not to call either of them ever again and something about 100 yards, I didn’t really get it all.  Here is more.

“They had dinner together [Saturday] in New York,” Lohan’s rep tells PEOPLE. “Lindsay very much admires Mr. Allen.”

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Jessica Lowndess cleavage kickstarts our Monday

Jessica Lowndes, sugar hut, essex, 90210

Before we get started today, let’s do a little shout out to the life and times of Adam Yaunch, known most widely as MCA from the Beastie Boys. I grew up listening to those beats.

My name is MCA I gotta a license to kill.

RIP my man.

So that clearly starts Monday off on not such a stellar point, so let’s see if we can get the train on its tracks. This is Jessica Lowndess, she is one of the actresses from 90210. These are pictures of her at a party at the Sugar Hut in Essex. She is full bore Canadian hotness. And she has incredible cleavage. She clearly went all out to make sure that her boobs were elevated for the goodness of the world. They look completely fantastic.

On a side note, does any of you actually watch 90210? I haven’t even watched one episode of it. With all the reality TV on like Jersey Housewives and The Kardashians, I just don’t have time. My schedule is full up.

Please enjoy the sexy pictures.

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Lisa Rinna launches books and boobs in NYC.

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Lisa Rinna launched her new book, The Big Sexy Sex Book, in New York City over the weekend, by jacking up her boobs in some space bra while making that weird, teenage girl on Facebook, puffy lip face. And that folks, is how it’s done. If you ever debut a book, all the secrets toa  great launch are right here in front of you and on full display.

Boobs, silly lip face, boobs taking a load off.

This was like what Anne Rice does when she launches a book, but not at all. How totally magnificent. I remember when I used to think Lisa was so hot in Melrose Place.

I wonder if the book has any tid-bits that involve husband Harry Hamlin’s tan? That could be a book all of itself. The cover should be an egg frying on a Palm Springs street. My God I am creative. Why am I doing this blog? Oh that’s right, because the world needs me right here. I am sort of like the Mother Theresa of the Internet.

Peace out. Click Lisa Rinna shaggy boobs pictures. Enjoy your Sunday.

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Introducing Victoria Irouleguy. Happy Church day also.

H Magazine, Victoria Irouleguy, boobs, bikinis

Holy cow, Christ will resErect himself personally after he check out these lingerie pictures of Victoria Irouleguy in H Magazine. And yes, our Lord and Savior does check out CelebrityRumors at least once a day. Because I am awesome and Holy. His favorite category is the Heidi Montag one, because he says he likes to see Satan doing so poorly in the real world. Hey, I’m just bringing you the news and hot foreign actresses, lets not hate ya’ll.

Victoria Irouleguy is an Argentinian actress that stars in the Argentinian version of  Big Brother. And now here are some topless pictures of her from the cover shoot for H Magazine. I have no idea what H Magazine even is but I do know what boobs are because I used to grab the mags from my dad’s toilet. Yep, he kept them on the back of the toilet. True class, my childhood.

Boobs. Lingerie. Argentinian hottie. Sunday morning. God. Everything you want in a weekend update. Go for it, just click it. Check out the pictures. Change your life.

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Courtney Stodden takes a bath.

courtney stodden, nude, bath

Courntey Stodden, Mr. Bubbles and Captain Narcissist all got together for a little soiree at what surely can only be an attention whoring photo shoot. I think Courtney has a little alarm that goes off if she feels the Internet has been absent of her photos for more than 4 days straight. Or maybe she just has Siri remind her?  All the same, Doug Hutchinson’s wife redefines intimate moments with bath time, photographer and backlight.

I feel like I am helping ruin the Internet one Courtney Stodden post at a time. Kind a like people who liter or throw cigs down drain pipes in California. Like its all one massive effort. Maybe there should be a movement to stop posting her pictures, or like an Internet carpool lane for those that don’t put pictures of her up anywhere.

Until then though, I’m a sucker for this crap. Oh and good morning, it’s Saturday, go do something fun today like booze away the afternoon and make fun of other people that’ can’t hear you. Or how do you call it? People watch?

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Arianny Celeste in lingerie spread in FHM.

Arianny Celeste, FHM, lingerie, phillipines

TO be specific, its FHM Phillipines, but who is counting? So I know a lot of you were planning to wake up and take a quick flight to the Manila in hopes of grabbing your fresh copy of Arianny Celeste donning sexy lingerie, but guess who saved you a load of cash and a crappy case of jet lag?

This guy!

‘Cause I got the pictures right here for you on the world wide web. If there is anyone who knows how to use the web for its intended purpose, its me. There is no other more purposeful way to start off a Saturday than by knowing that I have made you all happy and enabled you to NOT fly to Asia just to pick up a magazine.

This picture set is so hot its difficult for me to keep my pants on. Oh…come on…I mean because it’s hot out! Get your minds out of the Manila gutter, folks.

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Michelle Hunziker, bikini time on a balcony.

michelle hunziker, bikinis,

Good morning and happy to have you here on a gorgeous Friday morning. Well at least it’s gorgeous for me, I am in Los Angeles and it is bright sunshine at the moment. And most of you have been up way longer than me because you live in the midwest or on the east coast, so I kinda feel like I slept in.

In a philanthropic effort to make those of you that don’t have a as great of a view as I do (sunshine), I am going to give you a view (Michelle Hunziker in a bikini). That’s right, for one low price, I am going to give you Michelle Hunziker in a bikini. And if you act now, I will also throw in Darth Vader’s boxer briefs, the one’s he wore in the final scene of the original Star wars, since it is Star Wars day. Ok, just one of these things are true and if you can’t figure out which one, please leave the Internet or go back to WOW.

Michelle Hunziker, swedish super sexy hottie, was hanging out on her balcony in a bikini, because that’s what super hot girls do, they just hang out in a bikini at random times. That’s why the world is so much better with them than without them. So hopefully I have added some spice to your otherwise dull day. Unless of course you are sitting in your cube dressed like Obi One right now, in which case I doubt you even care to look at these pictures.

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Frances Bean Cobain outduels Courtney Love.

courtney love, frances bean cobain, kurt cobain, art

Remember the band Hole? I really enjoyed that band.

Ok, that statement was a part of my new hybrid philosophy, which is: If you don’t have something nice to say, say something super nice and then follow if with the really negative stuff.

Page Six is saying Courtney Love got swindled out of her Kurt Cobain meal ticket, by none other than daughter Frances Bean Cobain, you know, the same daughter that Courtney thought was hooking up with Dave Grohl.

Until the loan is repaid, Love won’t profit at all from Cobain, and 19-year-old Frances Bean will run the show.

That’s great, this is a new fail even in the world of junkies. I mean her own daughter has basically taken her to the cleaners. Maybe Courtney can start paying back the loan by selling her art? Yep, that’s what are in these pictures, this is her art exhibit debut in NYC. Some of it looks more like a girl’s period mishap and less like actual art. This can’t actually be real? I think the only good art here are the pictures of Love looking all crazy eye’d like a tranny pirate on too much Starbucks coffee. It’s like every portion of this post is a disaster for Love. A girl can’t win.

Don’t hate on me, did you read the first line? I did my part.

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