Stephanie Pratt continues bikini time.

stephanie pratt, bikini, hawaii, surfing

Stephanie Pratt continues to rock the beaches of Hawaii with bikinis. This time it’s a black number with some arabian scarf dealio to accentuate the hotness. In case you missed last weeks Stephanie Pratt bikini show in Hawaii, click that link. She also continues her Beach Boy’s summer montage with some good ole’ fashioned surfing. Its clear in the pictures that she’s terrible at it, but that’s of no matter because she’s getting the photo time with the activity. She learned from the best (Lauren Conrad).

This makes me want summer to get here as soon as possible. When will brother Spencer Pratt do some bikini time? What the heck ever happened to that guy? Oh wait, he has Twitter.

Spencer Pratt @spencerpratt

So excited for the day cars come stock with WiFi

Spencer Pratt @spencerpratt

i’m talking about Diaphragmatic breathing, abdominal breathing, belly breathing not just regular breathing from your chest.

There you have it, he’s still totally insightful and interesting.

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Kim Kardashian wants to preside over Glendale, California

kim kardashian, the today show, new york city, glendale, mayor

So the LA Times is reporting that Kim Kardashian want to run for the mayor of Glendale.

via LA Times:“I decided I’m going to run for the mayor of Glendale,” Kardashian said, later clarifying that “it’s going to be in, like, five years.”
The reality star, who is currently a registered voter in the city of Los Angeles, said she would choose to run for office in Glendale “because it’s, like, Armenian town.” She said she needs to obtain residency in the city in order to run for the mayorship, adding that she and [her friend/campain manager] Keshishian are “looking into all the requirements.”

Two current Glendale city councilmen, in fact, have already thrown support behind Kardashian.
“I would support her,” Glendale City Councilman Rafi Manoukian told E! News. “I think she would make an excellent mayor.”
And City Councilman and former Mayor Ara Najarian told the Glendale News-Press that he has offered her the position of “honorary chief of staff” to give her a crash course on city matters.

Get ready Southern California, policies gonna be changin.’ First things first, all women that cheat on their husbands with a black rapper gets a tax break. And you get even further tax breaks if its on film and you are clearly rolling on ecstasy.

These pictures are from her appearance on The Today Show in New York City last week. Not relevant to her upcoming political campaign, but at least she does look good in a tight blue dress. So there’s that.

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OMG, celebrities are at Coachella!!!! Have you heard?

lea michele, coachella, lacoste, bikini

Unless you are living in a cave then you have to know that Coachella is going on right now. If its not bad enough that my entire Facebook feed has been murdered by it, I now have to deal with all the celebrity fall out. “Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton at Coachella hanging with the normal people!” Oh screw you, I’m far from normal. I have all kinds of mental issues, but that’s for another day and for my other personality to explain.

Glee’s Lea Michele showed up and of course she was hanging with the “normal people” in the VIP Lacoste Roped off area. Because that’s how celebrities like Lea roll, in sexy bikinis protected by furry alligator icons. But at least she is in a bikini, which makes things a lot better for me.

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Miley Cyrus continues to hoochify it up for Hollywood with Skull dress

Miley Cyrus, pilates, dress,

and for us. God Bless her heart and the pilates wardrobe that she continues to grace us with in her closet. Or maybe she isn’t thinking of us, maybe she is thinking of Liam Hemsworth’s new found fame and the fact that he can now bang any chick he wants, maybe even Lindsay Lohan, if he pleases. So maybe she is trying to make him jealous, which could actually be interpreted in being about me, because check this out, if she bangs me, then he will be super jealous and guess what? I’m a totally easy lay. And how mad would this guy be to think that a loser like me totally got up on his chick. Answer? Totally hateful. The kinda hate only experienced by airline staff that has to deal with Alec Baldwin. That’s how much hate there would be. So in a way, Miley Cyrus is slutting it up just for me.

God I am awesome. I almost need a post that solely discusses how completely awesome I am. Go Miley. Keep up the parade, baby you know I’m here in my parents basement watching. Sexy huh?

Check out Miley in her dress with skulls. Scary!

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Courtney Love tweets apology to Francis Bean

courtney love, west hollywood, chateau marmot, francis bean

So last week Courtney Love took to Twitter basically saying that Dave Grohl tried to bang Francis Bean (or did) because he was always into Kurt Cobain like that. And this week, a publicist clearly got into the picture and Courtney tweeted “Bean, sorry I believe the gossip. Mommy loves you.” Here is Courtney’s Twitter account, ablaze with a spectacle of madness and paranoia.

At Coachella this weekend they resurrected Tupac. Snoop, PDiddy, Dr. Dre, among others took part, apparently it was sick and awesome and all the words you describe cool events. Maybe they should resurrect Kurt Cobain next year and have him kicking Courtney’s face in. Just a thought.

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Good Monday Morning, it’s Leighton Meester in a bikini

leighton meester, bikini, rio de janeiro,

I know, you’re sour this morning because it’s a crappy Monday morning. You’re still hungover from Sunday Funday. You feel your life is in disarray. You have to sit at that office all damn day. What could possibly make it better? Well, the title gives us all a wonderful hint. Its Gossip Girl Leighton Meester in a bikini. Further? Its Leighton Meester in a  bikini rocking some a#$ crack for us as well. Some guy is also slapping her ass and risking an a$% kicking from me. I don’t take that kinda crap lightly, especially on a Monday, because I’m a bad@#s. So there.

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Malin Akerman does Maxim shoot

malin akerman, maxim, watchmen

Watchmen actress and swedish funny girl hottie Malin Akerman did a photoshoot for Maxim and its sexy (and funny). In the shoot, there is an ape grabbing her breast. I haven’t been this jealous of an ape since Every Which Way But Loose. I’d do Malin every which way…yeah, that’s it, just every which way I can think of. I wonder how they found a person to be the ape? “calling all guys, must be ok in ape costume and caressing and grappling swedish sexy breast of Malin Akerman. Please send cover letter with application and include experience in breast grappling.” Must have been a tough part to fill.

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Maria Menounos rocks a sports bra on set

maria menounos, sports bra, E, dancing with the stars

The set of E! is always sextastic because of Maria Menounos and her rocking body, but it was even more exaggerated this weekend when she rocked a sports bra. Her stomach should be considered a national sex monument, I mean, does it get much better than Maria? Dancing With The Stars has really chiseled the greek goddess even more than she was before, and that’s saying a lot. She even comes complete with the navel piercing, which you pretty much have to have a sexy tummy for. Maria makes your Sunday so much better.

Sundays couldn’t be any better with Maria. Enjoy the pictures.

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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie engaged.

brad pitt, angelina jolie, engaged, new orleans,

Wasn’t this gig going bad for a while? I thought I recalled that they really weren’t into each other anymore or maybe they were just too hipster for marriage? I think Brad once said he wouldn’t marry her until gay people were able to marry at every state in the country. Anyways, the winds of Hollywood have blown and resulted in an engagement.

via THR:
The Beverly Hills jeweler and former CEO of Asprey & Garrard, the British jewelry company to the English royal family, confirms to The Hollywood Reporter that he has designed an engagement ring for Angelina Jolie. A rep for the jeweler says, “I can confirm that, yes, Robert Procop did indeed design an engagement ring for Angelina Jolie, designed in collaboration with Brad Pitt.”
Jolie was seen wearing the ring two nights ago, April 11, at a private viewing of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art’s Chinese Galleries. She attended the small gathering with Pitt as well as their son Pax. Neither the ring nor the engagement has been confirmed by Jolie’s representatives, who could not immediately be reached for comment.

And there you have it, from to hipster to marry to so rich they can’t marry rich enough. A designer engagement ring, I guess the whole surprise element is not as important as the custom rich people ring. All the same, they will have some beautiful black children someday.

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Miley Cyrus scared of being dumped.

miley cyrus, liam hemsworth, the hunger games,

When Miley Cyrus isn’t wearing loose clothes so we can see her boobs, she is apparently freaking out about her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth dumping her.

via HollywoodLife:
“I think Miley feels insecure about her relationship with Liam right now,” the insider said. “Let’s face it, Liam has a lot on his plate right now. His career is blowing up and he has a promising future, thanks to The Hunger Games and some other impressive projects.”
Not only is The Hunger Games doing exceedingly well in the box office, Liam, 22, is about to start shooting Empire State with Dwayne Johnson and Emma Roberts. Then he’s off to shoot Broken Run with John Singleton AND Arabian Nights with Morgane Slemp, who’s gorgeous.
“Miley is feeling threatened,” our source said, explaining, “When she first met Liam, he was not well known at all. I think she is just crying  out for attention and she’s worried she may lose him.”

Time for Miley to start dating down? I mean, that’s how she landed Liam, basically dating down but then he got on the fame train and now its not so easy.

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